The Weekend

the weekend was a busy one.........but a very very nice one. Christina's son is now married. The wedding reception turned out great, actually really "great". I spent most of Friday afternoon/evening there, most of Saturday there (minus a few hours for my youngest sons midget football game and senior night) And then i spent Sunday morning there. Chris did a wonderful job organizing this wedding, I think she could become a wedding planner quite easily, although I am pretty sure that she does NOT want to do that.

I would like to get to Curves today, the bottom line is, i will look at my schedule and fit in Curves 3 times this week....... it is not a "try" but a "must. Although I did not eat tons of food this weekend, i did pick at some wrong foods. and I am looking forward to eating my lean protein, complex carbs, tons of veggies Curves eating plan this week.

Andrew has an appointment on Friday. He is improving greatly and is quickly becoming an annoying teenager.

Please keep my friend Kellie's son in prayer...... his pain is increasing, he goes this week for appointments. God Bless this family, they are praying, that when they get there, there will be room at the Ronald McDonald house or something like that, because the expense is taking its toll on this precious family. Nathan you are a beautiful little boy, hang in there buddy.

Well I think I'll get going, rest, do laundry, catch up on house work. although the family tries, it still needs a mom's touch, and i was non existent here this weekend.

Love to you all

Kimmie, won't be long now...........just a couple of weeks

Well...........

Well, Okay........... yesterday it was almost a perfect "Patti day." Now understand, I went grocery shopping........ i bought the twizzler licorice for the kiddo's, I even bought a small bag of mini choc bars. NOT a problem. didn't touch them, actually had no desire to touch them. All this dang "healthy" food has kept me full. BUT, and I must say, Christina stopped here to pick up Katie to take her to get her hair cut, still no problem.............. And Christina brought a plate of those mini little ladylock cookies ..... yes, I know can you believe she did that..... I know she does it because my kids LOVE LOVE LOVE her baking. but still!!! The good thing is though, I had 2 tiny little cookies........ when I could normally, and have done before, eaten 10 at one sitting. So i didn't let these two little cookies totally kill my evening.......... the old me would have been upset, and once i "cheated" would have figured what the H%#$ and then I would have eaten a dozen of those cookies, and then since i already screwed up I would have eaten the chocolate bars, and prob would have mindlessly eaten the twizzlers. And since i ate all that "junk" why bother eating the lean protein, complex carbs and fresh veggies??? So you see how the cycles would go. So i sat down with a cup of coffee and had two little cookies. So i made it 5.5 Patti days......... not bad.

Chris cannot go to Curves this morning. And I must say in my head, I keep saying.......or it's that dang "fat devil" saying..........." don't go to Curves this morning, you have such a busy day today. you have to leave to take Andrew to the doctors, and then you are going to help you bestest friend get ready for the wedding" and my poor healthy angel is saying ....
"come on Sandi, you leave for your appointment at 11:15am, go to Curves first thing this morning, you'll be back before you know it with plenty of time to get ready for the doctor appointment. If you don't go now.....YOU will NOT get there for 3 sessions this week. and that was your goal"....... Ah, these voices in my head. Does anyone else hear these voices too? So of course i plan on going to Curves....... I will get back on this morning before 11 am to tell you if I went or not. If i do go, this is a big step in recovering from the dip I've experienced as of late. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me also, I just want to try and make things as easy as possible so that Christina can enjoy her sons wedding and not have to "work" it..... Ahhhhhhhhh, Chris. Sunday will be here before you know it. I know you went from a crazy busy summer at the golf course, ...... directly into planning/cooking/baking/cleaning/preparing for this wedding. Soon my friend, you will get to enjoy some YOU time. at least that is my hope.
Well got to go, Have a great weekend......... it will be, if you decide to make it such!!!

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Well, I am back from Curves. I did go....... and It was one of the hardest workouts I've ever done there.... my muscles actually "burned" during the last 5 seconds of each machine. When I was done.......... I could not go through one more circuit. Came home, made a 2 egg scramble with 1 serving of Turkey sausage, 1 slice of low fat Swiss cheese, and 1 slice of whole grain /flax/ fiber bread toasted.......... yummy!!! oh I also drank 16 oz of H2O. just in case Andrew wants to stop at a drive thru..... i am packing an apple and 1/2 sandwich........ baked ham, lettuce tomato and a "schmear" as Patti says of Light Mayo. So I won't be tempted.

Kim, Kim, Kim.......

Kim after reading your blog today........i must say that i am just too too tired anymore to have many "Kim days" in a row.... but I will see what I can do...... I am sure Bill would be thrilled ;0).

On the other hand, Patti Days have gotten easier No sugar yesterday, and No sugar today either. so what is that? 4 "Patti days" in a row...

For those who don't know, I met Patti and Kim years ago on a nutrition website called Calorie King. We first became cyber friends, oh how long ago......5+ years now?? I met Patti in person 3 years ago, (she lives in Arizona). And Kim, who used to live on the other side of the state, recently moved in the area, So we get together when we can. She is the one I am going on the Joyce Meyer road trip with. I can honestly say these women, are such dear friends, Sisters to me. It is so neat how people can meet from across countries and across states.... It is so Awesome to Watch God in action.......and how he intertwines peoples lives. I've meet a few other friends via this thing called a computer....... I met a dear friend who lives in Canada... She too was a part of Calorie King, She is friends with Patti and Kimmie also. and i must say I think my husband enjoyed her husband as much as i enjoy her.... So where am I going with this? oh yeah i remember..... Patti is a diabetic, and she has for years been trying to "get it all together". She spent a few years......can i say maintaining. and then recently I'd say the past year or so.. She finally GOT IT!!! and i mean this in a good way......... she doesn't obsess about food and weight loss, i mean she enjoyed the "Amish nut bread" every bit as much as the other person. She has learned to Live Healthy........ not BE on a diet. I must say the weight has dropped off bunches for her, she looks wonderful. And she is such a stickler about unnecessary sugars. so that is why i am giving that up , or at least trying to in her honor:0) Now Kimmie is jealous that i don't have a "Kim" day.... And honestly, if you know Kim ( i must remember Kim's mom reads my blogs sometimes) i am not so sure if i could handle "Kim days" too often. ahhhhh Gee i am thinking that i may have to start a Christina day after she reads this..........what to do????

Today i worked out really really hard at Curves....... my muscles feel it right now. And I feel those first few pounds that "quickly" come on the body after you stop eating right and exercising regularly tend to be more of a fluid/water fluctuation. and not actual fat lbs. because after just 4 days of this I already feel thinner.......if that makes any sense at all.

Well I am working right now..... and then i do that double back thing,..... so i come back to work tomorrow morning.. Still have some busy times coming up....... ah, will Sunday get here???

Some where over the rainbow!!

Isn't this just a beautiful sky? I thought so, took this on Sunday, although you can't see it, there is a rainbow right above the clouds.... ah, what a beautiful world.

This is day 3 on a Patti Day. and i must admit it wasn't as difficult. So this is a good thing. Oh yeah and I DID go to Curves last night. I do love going there, and actually sad that I've missed a week. I am planning on going tomorrow morning before work. and then i plan on going on Friday before we leave for one of Andrew's many appointments. Tomorrow I go to work before noon, so maybe I'll do my yoga for weight loss tape. it's all in the planning and organizing, and putting it in my schedule like any other important appointment.

Today i spent most of the day in Pittsburgh, getting re certified so to speak to work with the home health agency. Funny thing is my patient from before, (the whole reason in doing this), is no longer with this agency. but just today they are looking at another case...

a 7 year old boy with mental retardation, and Leukemia... what an honor that would be to take care of this young man. . . . well , whatever happens, happens. God I put this in your hands, and trust that you will send me to the exact spot that i am needed. Not sure what you are doing at this point..... but guess i don't need to know. Go ahead and I will follow!!! The other nurse that was there for this possible case, is not sure she wants to deal with the prognosis part of the case, Not sure she wants to deal with death. especially the death of a Child. For some reason that part doesn't scare me...

I am tired today............so many test, test on nursing care, and safety, and OSHA, and Blood borne diseases. on the HIPA act... and then they threw in the Pediatric Nursing test........ gee haven't did that in 19 years when i took in in Nursing school......... must say just used common sense to answer............scored a 86% I'll take it :)

Well, i should get going......... have things to do around the house. Andrew had tutoring today.......and he is so miserable he can't even eat. so i should go check on him . talk to you all later

Day two..... Patti day!!!

Yes, that is what i am calling it..... if i go a day without added sugar. I call it a "Patti Day" and this is the second day. Now i am not counting the minimal "natural sugar" in my apple or my 1/2 cup of mixed berries. I am talking the `twizzlers` and brownies and that kind of crap. I know if i can cut out the sugar for a few days that it WILL get easier. And i am realizing.... sometimes if i don't go for a 7 mile hike, i feel that I am not working out. Saturday I didn't go to Curves BUT ms. Patti, I did a walking tape. Sunday I did a mile walk as well as a short exercise tape. and today I AM GOING TO CURVES WITH CHRISTINA ;0)!!! tomorrow Bill and I have scheduled a short 2.5-3.0 mile hike, I think the weather is to cool off drastically in the next few days. I must say this 90 degree weather is really really hard for my asthma. Sometimes i get this all or nothing attitude, and that's just a Crock... I have a wonderful Yoga for Weight loss tape, that makes me feel so good..... i can do that for 30 minutes and my body/muscles feel it. I work weds. and Thurs. Andrew has a doctor appointment on Friday, plan of hanging with Christina on Friday to help cook and get ready for the wedding. as well as i plan on being down there most of Saturday. then the wedding,.....straight to Sammy's "senior" night for midget football. Maybe Sunday I will give to a day of rest. Tomorrow i go to Pittsburgh to do some paperwork and such for my home health job. ( Bill is taking off to go with me, and we plan on stopping somewhere do get the "hike " in) Gina, i miss you...... hope to see you down there at Chris' on Friday evening..... we can cook together and figure out a strategy to go for little hikes at times.
Well i got to go get my whole grain flax seed bread with lean turkey breast, light mayo, lettuce, tomato's and onions ready to eat for Lunch.
I'll let you know how Curves was.

PS Kimmie, it won't be long now. looking forward to the road trip :0)

What an excuse!!!

yeah that is what I've been doing. Excuses for not going to Curves. Excuses for not eating how i am supposed too. Not getting nearly enough of the calories requested. Not getting nearly enough of the protein requested. Prob taking in too much sugar, not probably.... how about definitely taking in too much sugar. Yeah I am working a lot! Yes i have many appointments to take my son to. Yes my other kids have been sick on and off. Yes I have a football game of some sort to attend on every day I have off. Yes I've been dealing with allergy related symptoms.... so where in that equation does it say.... thou need NOT go to Curves today. Thou need not go for a hike today. Thou Need to eat as many strawberry twizzlers through out the day, for no apparent reason. Come on Sandi, get real!!! Every morning I wake up and remember my promise to Melody, ~~that angel is relentless, she just doesn't give up!~~ I am sitting her looking at my schedule, maybe i can't go every time with Christina, and since i switch shifts, I can't go at the same time every day....... but gee, I CAN GO 3 TIMES A WEEK!!! I need to get real, it takes less than 1hour out of my day, driving to-exercising/stretching-driving back. less than 1 hour! I am looking to put another job into my schedule, I may only do this job 4/5 days out of the month. But if i am not dealing with my scheduling now, how in the heck am i going to do this? I realize that Motivation has ups and downs for Everyone.... and I need to continually dig for the motivation from within myself. I need to remember my dreams, goals and promises. Not to the world, Not to my friends, Not to my family, Not to Melody. I need to remember for ME!!!



Just a few weeks before Kim and I take a road trip. I am looking forward to that. I need that now. To get away, to rejuvenate my body and spirit. to step away for a moment from what consumes me...... being a mother, a wife, a nurse, a taxi, a restaurant, a peace keeper, a housekeeper. A couple days to focus on me. That is not a bad thing is it ???



:Update on Drew, I do see improvement, he began home schooling on Tues, and I must say, he now realizes how much he "injured" his brain. last night he had such a major headache after tutoring. and he said he had a difficult time focusing on the task at hand. BUT he is improving, and he is doing exactly what the doctors say he should be doing. So I need to sit back, and have Faith, have faith that God put these doctors in Andrews life for a reason. have faith that they know what they are talking about. have Faith that God has his hand in this. what more do i need?



well i really should get moving here at work. the Kiski boys are starting to come in :0)
it is Friday, have a great weekend

Do i really need a title????????

most of Andrews brain lobes appear to be functioning in the 80%'s, except the part of the test that uses the frontal lobe of his brain, this is where he got hit, and he's at 16% which is 6% more than the last two test showed. So over all he is getting better. He didn't get as sick with the travel as in the past. Yesterday he started home schooling and "studying" for the first time since Sept 10th. afterwards he was upset, because his speed in doing the math problems was so slow. so slow that he noticed it greatly. I spoke with his tutor and as she hasn't had Andrew in school so she couldn't compare his work now to before. BUT she said he grasps the concept and did extremely well. Andrew said he couldn't focus on the numbers, and at times were unsure what they were.... What can we expect, he just started reading again 3 days ago. So over all I am pleased. 40 minutes of school wore him out. The Doctors were thrilled with him yesterday. and are quite pleased with his improvement. speaking of which, my daughter was at the dentist, and picked up a People magazine, and in there was a big article about the Doctor Andrew is seeing who deals with nothing but Concussions!!!! Drew is in good hands.

Andrews football pizza party, game film watching, meeting was a success. He was surprised and seemed to enjoy seeing everyone.

I work today......... it seems if I don't have a doctor appointment to take someone to, I have work!!! I work 2pm until 8pm. so the hours aren't too bad. and like I have said all along, this job is so awesome, and I feel No stress about going to work. the problem is not being home so much, to keep things in working order here!

Kimmie, i am so excited about our road trip to head out east to see Joyce Meyer... and I know it is true, if Patti weren't on vacation she'd get her butt out here and go with Us. My only plan is to see Joyce early sat morning. other than that, we will just let the "wind" take us. no plans, or schedules, or places we have to be at exact times. it's the end of October, maybe we will go for a beautiful hike on a trail out there, maybe we will find a fall festival to visit,...... It has been so long since I've had just me time, I am so looking forward to it.......

well i am going to get going here, i am sure i can find something to do in these early morning hours. Katie was up all night throwing up, she thinks her boyfriends mother gave her Ibuprofen for her tooth ache the other day. I haven't heard of it before, but i am wondering if Katie is "allergic" to the Novocaine the dentist uses, because it was exactly like this last year right after her wisdom teeth were removed.....she got so sick in the stomach.......but then again the medicine was ibuprofen, and she took a lot of it, causing the ulcers in the first place. Heck she may just have a virus. shes been doing so well, and the old Katie has returned, all bubbly and full of energy......... she sure is growing up though, still attached to me at the hip, and sure loves her brothers.

good news..

I know the doctors said he would improve, it was just a matter of knowing how long it would take. It has been 20 days since Andrews concussion, and yesterday was the first day that was truly tolerable for him (so he says). Today for the first time he left the house for something other than a Doctors appointment. His dad took him out to eat. He did okay, when he got home he said he had dizziness, a headache and was really tired. BUT, it doesn't seem to be as bad as last week when he had the doctor appointment!!!! I guess I can't expect him to wake up, and be just how he was before the concussion... Every day, every week there are improvements. I do notice he is not nearly as moody. So this is a good thing.
I am so busy, I am here working at Kiski this evening. Bill has an colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow in the morning. and I found out the "football coach" is surprising Andrew and bring practice to him, Monday is film day..... so all the kids decided to bring Pizza and sit with Drew for a while........ So 30 people will be eating at my home tomorrow!! I'll talk with the Coach/High school principal tomorrow. I am fine with the idea. I just want to set limitations that we have no lingering kids........ after 2 hours, the Inn closes. So Andrew can rest after such stimulation.
Chris I am not sure how i am going to fit Curves in tomorrow. let me know what time you leave in the evening....... and if the rug rats are gone, then i may just go with you. Wow our lives sure have been busy since early summer, haven't they?? Do you see rest coming for either of Us??
Well I am hoping to get out of work early, so i should get going and do the things i need to do.

Hope everyone has a positive beginning for the new week!

9 months ago........

9 months ago a young woman named Melody, left this world! She had become such an inspiration to so many people that her Spirit definitely lives on. I truly don't understand why she is etched so strongly in my memory, But she is. I realize her friends and family will Never forget. how could they, I am learning that her life was amazing. I did not know her in this world. I learned about her story from a friend, who had a friend, who had a friend........ I was told about this incredible woman who had cancer, who had a website she wrote about her journey with cancer. It took me several months before I even read it. It was a life changing experience for me. I first read about Melody a week after she passed away. On January 3rd. This woman, this stranger totally changed my life. I was reading about her optimism and her determination to fight this monster called cancer. She remained optimistic, and never gave up. She never had a "whoa is poor me attitude" And she didn't use the pathetic excuse of cancer and chemo and radiation side effects to prevent her from loving and living. and taking care of her self/ her body, her spirit, her heart. My health had been spinning down hill for a while, and the weight had been piling on. Sitting at my computer that morning in January, sobbing, with tears rolling down my face, I was ashamed of the excuses i used not to get healthy. I was given this wonderful body that i wasn't being nice too. And Melody was fighting with her body that was so ill. At this moment, I made a promise to Melody, this Angel in Heaven. that I would take care of myself, I'd get this body back to a healthy state. and someday in her honor, I'd hike 10 miles for her. Well I am assuming when Melody was living on Earth she must have been a very determined woman...... cause let me tell you, As an Angel in Heaven..... she is worse. She just won't let me forget my promise. Oh my journey isn't easy. and there are times that i want to give up, I've had my setbacks, and even stopped working out at one point for 2 weeks. But She is relentless, I remember my promise to her. Since this promise I have gotten much healthier, I've lost many pounds and many Inches. I've been faithful to my work out at Curves gym. This Summer i was able to hike at one point 7 miles. I may have over did it at times ( recovering from foot surgery) which caused setbacks... but I am persevering, and not giving up. I re read her journal to remind me of her determination and my promise.... I remember, and I will not forget!!!

The Answer...........

Several weeks ago I mentioned some financial difficulties that we are experiencing, That was really bothering my husband. He didn't want to tell me.... which caused some stress in our lives. (you can't hide things from a woman, they just know that something isn't going right). Since he opened up to me, an immediate weight was lifted in our Marriage. There have been a few night that I've been unable to sleep, trying to figure out what we can do to expedite fixing this minor issue in our lives. Finally, i just decided...... what is the worry, it is so easy to say......"give it to God"... IT is much harder to give it to Him. So a week or so ago, come to light of Andrew's accident, I realized, There is no reason to worry about financial situations, it is nothing in the scheme of things, it is nothing compared to the love health and safety of our Family and Friends!! So this is what I said........ "God figure this out for me, amen" and i let it go. Well yesterday out of the Blue, a company i used to work for called me. The gentleman that I did home nursing for, asked the company to find me and ask me back. ( he was injured in a chemical accident, his eyes where dissolved by acid. and now he has cornea transplants, He needs a nurse to put drops in his eyes.... that's all that I do.) it is funny I had this job while we were adding/remodeling our home. and then after that was done, this job took a back seat, and eventually phased out. it's been a year since I last worked. The pay is double almost triple what I make at kiski. Working there one day is what I make at kiski working 2 and 1/2 days. So I figure I can work Kiski school 2 or 3 days, and Work with the agency 2 days a week. I know, I know, I need to take care of myself too.... but i also need to help my family out for a while. HOW blessed I am to have a career that I can control how often i work, We know that Kiski is 100% stress free job. and i have tons of me time. My agency job is stress free as far as the job and patient is concerned. I do have to deal with a family member who changes personalities frequently. But i am a changed person since i worked there last.... Melody's Mile has truly been working to change me in all aspects... not just a physical change, but a spiritual, mental and emotional difference. The most I can do is try it.........no strings attached, i can stop at any time.

Now i guess God could "let" me hit the lottery, but that is not what he choose. I've got to trust that I am to be at this house for whatever reason. I don't know, But God does!!!

It's like the story I've heard many times in Church........

A man's home was being flooded by terrible rains, he was able to get on his roof, there he Prayed..... "God Please Save Me" 10 minutes later a boat drove past his home. The man on the boat told the man on the roof to come aboard. The man replies, no thank you, i am waiting for God. The man in the boat shook his head and left, now the water was almost to the top of the roof, and another boat came past, and the same conversation took place. the man remained on the roof. finally the water was had risen to above the roof and the man was just hanging on..... a Helicopter came past, and the man refused to get on the helicopter, because his Faith knew that God would save him. Finally the man drowned. Meeting God in Heaven, He said, "Father, I trusted you, I asked you to Save me.......why didn't you? " God looked at the man, and said, "What did you want? I sent you two boats and a helicopter?"

Do we refuse to get on the boat when it comes around? Well I think i am going to step on this boat.

Have a great day

Does God break Xbox 360s

The thing we are dealing the most with Andrew.......... is resting his brain so that it can heal. He can barely read 2 sentences at a given time without starting a major headache. The many doctors said to prevent boredom and depression, he can play video games, but minimally and with many hours of break in between play. Now remember he just turned 16. so he's not thinking like an adult yet, and actually, what is the age that a "man" thinks like an adult? Bill is 43 and i am still waiting ;-). So Albert , Bill and I have been on his case all of the time. Well yesterday, this really awesome game came out for XBox, Halo3. It was one of those games that people waited in line over night for. Albert bought this for Andrew for his birthday. I went and picked it up for him yesterday morning. I must admit, I worried that Andrew would want to play this more than he should.... Didn't have to worry long. Andrew put the game in his Xbox. it said to "push yes to update your Xbox to be able to play this game". ... Andrew pushed yes...........................................and............................and guess what??????????????????? ..................the XBox 360 crashed. the hard drive was somehow destroyed. I called tech support, they feel it was coincidence that it broke at that time. they said, that they are having problems with the hard drives, and that Microsoft, makers of Xbox, just increased the warranty to 3 years. Andrews box is 6 months old. So They will take it, fix it or replace it at NO cost to Us. This could take 6 weeks. About the same time frame that Doctors feel that Andrew will have the biggest improvement in brain healing. Andrew was so disappointed, and at first i wanted it for him so bad, knowing that this game is what he talked about for weeks. And I truly believe that God said, ........" Sandi, I just felt like I had to step in and help " Thank you God.

For the first time since Andrews "brain injury" on the 10th, I notice moments of improvement, it may last an hour, but there IS improvement. and his mood is stabilizing greatly, he's laughing more, and spending more time out of his dark dungeon of a room, (his headaches are sensitive to noise, light, and motion) and more time with his family.

The Miracle of the human body, and the ability to heal itself is amazing.

it is now 4am my time, and i just can't sleep, I work today at noon, maybe I'll get some sleep in the early morning hours. I doubt it though.

Thank God for your small miracles that occur EVERYDAY in your life. today I thank God for Breaking and XBox 360

Dear Kim's Mom

Kim's mom, I just want to let you know that your daughter is corrupting me ever so slightly. I am trying really hard to behave myself when i am talking to her. But truly you must know how difficult that is. I must confess, I said a very "bad" word when i was imitating her and saying what i think she "would" say. So I don't know if that really counts!!! does it??? yeah your right, it counts. In all seriousness, your daughter is one of a kind, in a good way. and I am so glad that God saw it fit that we meet each other on a website. She speaks so highly of you and her dad, I feel like i know you guys already.

Now that I have Kim's mom taken care of, I can continue my blogging. I am now able to pin point the origin of my infection, It is my left ear. And let me tell you, it really really hurts. My eyes are still watery, my lungs still wheezy, my sinuses still clogged, my headache still there, and I am still tired. My husband feels, that with the fever, it is time I let my doctor know. I just really try to let my body fight the infection naturally. The problem is being so busy with Andrew, and coming down from the post stress of Andrews situation, and lack of sleep, and the increase of work days...... it's too much for my body to do all at once, which causes my resistance to go down lower, and can you see the vicious cycle here???

Bill and I are postponing our little Vacation for the end of October right now. we would have been gone most of the last week in October. Andrew is still up in the air, Doctors are confident that he will be much better by then. even so, if he has appointments that week, with Albert starting a new job, I need to be around to get him to and from these appointments.

The good news about that is, Now I may have the opportunity to go see Joyce Meyer and the Hillsong band in Hershey Pa. I would be gone Friday night until Sunday. Albert and Bill would be around for Andrew if necessary, and I would get some much needed me time. So I will pray about it? and see if it works out.

Andrew is doing okay, status quot. When he doesn't have to travel, he does much better. and actually for a little bit yesterday, I looked at him, and he seemed a little bit "clearer" if that even makes sense. by the end of the evening he was tired and had a headache starting to flair up.

I must figure out how to get to Curves 3 days this week. I am working today. so I will prob go tomorrow morning. Tuesday is my only day off, so that works, and Thursday I don't come to work until 2pm, so there is plenty of time to go to Curves. as well as Saturday morning. So i will put that on my schedule. just like all of my other appointments.

I think today I will plan on re-reading Melody's Journey. haven't done that in a month or so. On Friday it will be 9 months since she left this earth. time marches on, life marches on. and for her family i am sure sometimes it just stands still, and it seems like yesterday she left them. God Bless and be with them through this journey.

well I should call Christina and get a Christina fix before her day begins, she wasn't feeling well yesterday.....so i hope today is better for her.

Stress, Allergies, whatever......I am sick

Okay it's time i stop making excuse for feeling so crappy....... and just tell myself..... I don't feel well. Why am I trying to be the martyr. Last week less than 2 weeks ago i experienced a very stressful thing beginning with my son being life flighted to Pittsburgh and continuing to the many appointments i am having now to help him heal his brain. And these dang Allergies, and yes i know they are allergies, my sinuses drain so much, and my eyes are watery and itchy. and i get this cough, and I am wheezing, and I can't seem to take a deep breath into my lungs. Now i feel i have a secondary infection, this is the 3rd day in a row that i have a low grade fever ranging from 99.7-100.6, I am so tired, I am literally fighting with my body to keep moving, I feel i could crawl into bed and stay there for a week! Not going to happen though, as I work today, I work tomorrow evening until 11pm, and then come right back on Monday at 7am, My only day off is Tuesday........ and then i work weds, Thurs, Friday, Saturday. So in the next 8 days. I am only off Tuesday. Thank goodness, i love my job so much, and i find some peace and solitude while i am here.

I started taking extra Vitamin C, and i am going to have to find the time to rest, and i am going to have to NOT sweat the small stuff right now....... let the dust collect on top of my hutch, and ceiling fans. So what if there are finger prints on the glass doors, When company stops to see Andrew, they are stopping to see Andrew, and not see how spotless and in order my home is.

Speaking of Andrew...... his doctor appointment yesterday is with a Doctor who deals with nothing but head pain, migraines, and Brain injuries. Obviously nobody can heal Andrews brain any quicker. But she can help control the pain he is receiving while his brain is recovering. he's on Amantadine and Indural. the Amantadine will help him be able to concentrate even with basic tasks, which in turn will help him not to over use his brain. It will also help to stabilize his mood. Indural in higher doses is used to treat high blood pressure, but for Drew, it will help prevent a migraine from occurring. She said there are other ways to treat this, but she is starting at block 1. The trip yesterday just the simple car ride, the sunlight, the movement, the noises, the stimuli, about killed him.... he started out going to the Doctors fine, teasing me, talking about where we will stop to eat etc........ and by the time we got into the office, which was a short 15 minute wait, he had such a bad head ache, he was dizzy c/o blurred vision, and by the time we got to the car, he covered his head with a pillow, and wanted to go straight home....


Well I will talk more later if I have time, maybe i should do a little work while i am here at "work". :-p

Anonymous, I do understand (in regards to your comment yesterday)

Anonymous I am okay with you being anonymous. If i may be honest, at first, after awhile, i started to "worry" as to why you were anonymous, and i racked my brain trying to figure out who you were. My blog has branched out in so many directions, Melody's family, my friends, an old website i used to be on, and so forth... So I've changed my mind who you were over and over again. Now I don't even think about it. Actually my friend Christina told me one day, that look at it, maybe, maybe it's just messages from God!!!! And that's a pretty neat way to think of it, No human face with the message, Yet like i said before, but many faces. When you posted several months ago, and your message hit home for my friend Kellie dealing with her son's illness, and in such a time of terrible stress hitting that family from all angles... Your comment to me, gave her peace. I don't NEED to know who you are, or where you are from, or what you do. I am glad that you are around!!! Because there are times when your comments bring me much peace also. Blessings to you!!!!

Okay in another note, Andrew has another appointment at Noon in Pittsburgh, I was not going to Curves this morning, cause there is just too much too do.......yeah right, reality, i wasn't going to go to Curves because i wanted to lie around in bed a little this AM before getting ready. I decided this morning, I will go get my workout, come home, shower, get ready for the doctor appointment, and later this afternoon, if i need to, I'll rest a little bit. Sandi Blystone, it is time to get REAL! and get my A** moving :0).

I'll post later after the appointment about Andrew.


this is the day the Lord hath made, I'll rejoice and be glad in It.

A fine line..........

There is such a fine line between being "selfish" and being "selfless" You see I want to put myself first, and worry about everything else later. I am a mother, therefore do my kids come first?, I am a wife, does my husband come first? I am employed, does my work come first?
These past days, obviously my son has been my priority. Last week I didn't go to Curves at all. Didn't even care, wasn't a thought. Yesterday I went to Curves for a workout, and I felt pretty good (thanks Christina). Suddenly after Andrews accident, I didn't matter, I didn't think about working out, didn't think about eating, I didn't think about how my clothes fit, or anything like that......... I just wanted Andrew to be Okay!!!!
I didn't worry about work either.
Maybe my thinking is distorted, It IS okay for my brother to keep an eye on Andrew, I mean my trip to Curves, workout , and trip back home is under an hour. My son is recovering, but the Critical time is over, he's not going to fall asleep and lapse into a coma. It IS okay for me to take an hour and go for a walk in this beautiful weather.
I need to be real in my thinking....... it's not like after the accident, I decided to go on a two week Bahama's vacation, lying on the beach, sipping some kind of tropical drink complete with an umbrella and cherry.

Being a Mom, is my greatest accomplishment in my life no doubt. But I have got to realize that it IS important that I am "ME" first. I am of no use to anyone or anything if I am not healthy. my husband deserves some of "me" too. as well as my friends and my work. Andrew is going to be down for a while yet, and yes he does need me. (shhhhh, don't tell, he doesn't know that yet) and yes we have plenty of trips to Pittsburgh for doctor appointments, but he's 16 not 6. He can hang here at the house, and I CAN go to Curves, I can go grocery shopping, I can take a walk on the trails, I can go to work, and I can go away with my husband for a day.
Monday Christina starts the Curves 6 week nutrition plan, and although i can't make it to the meetings, I plan on doing it with her. And I am back to work..... and I am back to working out . Andrew will be okay, it's just going to take time.

have a good day folks, and remember to put yourself first......once in a while!!!

ps. Hello Annonymous, it is great to "hear" from you again. It's funny, I do not know you.......but you represent someone, someone faceless, yet who has many faces...... if that even makes sense!!!

Update on Andrews first follow up appontment

Just got back from Pittsburgh. We had Andrew at the Center for Sports Medicine. With a team of doctors that ONLY deal with concussions. Andrew has been in the house doing nothing..........and I think the reality of the severity of his head trauma hit home. The 45 minute drive about killed him, he got nauseated, and his head started to hurt a lot. With test the doctor confirmed that the concussion was major. and the frontal part of his brain is not healing yet. The other test are showing that there is improvement in all other brain lobes. He WILL not play football this season. and actually he can't even return to school for a month or more. he is to be home taught, and they can only teach no more than 1 hour a day. He is to rest his brain......... limit video games, limit everything. Actually thinking is using too much brain, ..... so the doctor wants him to "chill" even more!!! That is going to be the hard part. He wanted to stop at a restaurant on the way home.... his gram and pap went with us, He took about 5 steps towards the restaurant.....and got real dizzy, had a tough time standing and focusing...... needless to say....... we went to a drive thru!!!
Please Understand, Andrew does have a brain injury right now... but it's not the kind that cause permanent damage.. If he doesn't get a blow right now...... he will become 100% healed! It's just that it could take 3 weeks, 3 months or a year. What is neat is that he is seeing Dr Collins, and not an associate. This is the same doctors that works with NFL, NHL and other professionals, This doctor ONLY works with head injury/ concussions. He said he will NOT release Andrew.....until Andrew is 100% back to himself.

Wow, how blessed am I to live 45 minutes from one of the top Concussion specialist in the USA, How blessed am i that Andrew got in to this program,...........

I am tired today, and must admit am a little surprised that Andrew is so sick yet. I truly thought at this appointment I'd hear that he's improving and another week or so he could return to school. Watching him try to function today was pathetic, and a thing moms hate to see!!!

well Corey's case worker is coming any minute......so i should get going. Those who pray.......please keep praying.

I love you guys

Me

My kind of weather!!!

Ahhh, it was actually chilly yesterday, the air was so crisp

and cool. and smelled so "clean". it was mostly sunny wiht these really cool clouds that looked 3D... here is a photo of them that I

took with Bills camara phone at Sammy's football game.

this was during the sunset, the clouds had an orange color to them.

Andrew is doing pretty good. I think he is getting tired of hanging around doing nothing. but tough for him. this is how it has to be for a while yet. He has an appointment with the concussion specialist on Tuesday. and He has to miss another week of school yet. I am hoping for a quiet day today at home, and I am hoping to get a hike in this evening ....of course after the Steeler football game. I knew it was a slim shot for kimmie to come this weekend, she had something to do with the church yesterday..... so i hope to see her soon :0)

my dogs are getting anxious to begin "hiking" here is a photo of Juneau, my malamute, that needs the exercise to keep her relaxed and well behaved at home.

ps, i am just trying to figure out on this picture posting thing..... so Juneau's picture should be here------------->

and not there.................

oh well,

make it a good one.

Okay Sandi get a grip......

I came to work today.... yes Andrew is 16 years old, and he is doing okay. And my brother is at my house, And Albert is near by today.. (by the way, Bill did help him get a job, and he starts Monday). And i am only 3 miles away. And Christina is 30 seconds away....... and, and, and. I am still worried about ME not being with him. This morning when i went in and checked on him. He said his stomach was upset and he didn't feel good. I leave for work, Katie calls me. "mom, i am worried about Andrew, He won't wake up real well, and i heard a big bang on the wall this morning.. I think he hit his head." She calls me back in 5 minutes " mom, I am really worried, do you want me to leave school and go check on him?" I say "no I'll call his dad to go out and check on him". So Albert goes and checks on him. He is NOW waking up, doesn't remember telling me he was sick to the stomach, and not feeling well. Doesn't remember hitting his head, and then remembers hitting his head in the middle of the night but not in the morning.... Yoi!!!!!!
I am pretty sure he is still okay.... he's prob very tired. I think i am closing the "revolving" doors today. A couple close friends I'll let in, the friends that don't mind that Andrew is sleeping away when they visit. the kind of "best" friends that you can say....hey I am not feeling well, leave me alone :0).

I am not quite sure how many boys came to see Drew yesterday for his birthday. I just know about 8lbs of pasta was eaten. and 5lbs of deli meat was eaten, and two cakes disappeared.
Andrew was quite happy..... and although he spent some time down stairs shooting pool and such. he ended up in his bedroom with a few friends chilling and playing "guitar hero" The boys were well behaved, polite, and left in a timely matter.

This week it's all about Andrew....... Next week, i got to get back to me, curves, and some walking....

I may see Kim at some point this weekend....it's open and up in the air!!!

well it's busy here at work, and I've stopped like 6 times while i am writing this blog, so i guess it is time to get moving........and catch up on paper work here.

Have a great day

Big Boys eat Big amounts of food!!!!

Andrew is doing well, He is feeling a little better, still gets mild headaches. But he is listening and not moving around much. After doing the research on Concussions yesterday........ The original concussion isn't nearly as serious as "Second Impact Syndrome". Days and sometimes weeks following a concussion if the brain is not completely healed.......a second hit, even mild, or a shake can actually lead to several brain bleeds and it has even caused death in a number of cases. :0(, That is why I have Andrew in his little cocoon called "home" He will venture out of this home for the first time on Tuesday when we head down to Pittsburgh to see the doctors.

As i said before, my home has this open door policy on it..... and Andrews friends know this now. yesterday many members of his football team came to hang with him for a few hours. These boys are big........and they eat A LOT! plates of meatloaf sandwiches, and plates of cookies and brownies disappeared rather quickly.

Out of all of my kids, Andrew is the child that has always been a little insecure about being liked.........let me tell you, this boy is loved...... so many people visiting in the past 2 days, so many people praying, so many people calling.... you can tell he is enjoying it.

Today is his birthday. He is sixteen years old. I spread the word that his friends are welcome to stop in today...... i am making roaster pan full of rigatoni's with sausage and meatballs. I think I'll have the fixings for sandwiches, and salads. and of course I'll make a cake for the birthday boy.,,,,,,,, ummmm I'll make two cakes for the birthday boy!

Tomorrow morning I'll prob go back to work for a few hours.

I am happy right now...... I was so overwhelmed for a few days........but now I am just happy. Gosh i love my kids

Well I've got a busy day scheduled......so i better get going.

A Quick update on Andrew

Andrew came home this evening....he is doing well, very tired....and even moving a little bit quickly reminds him that he has a severe concussion.

I want to thank everyone for the messages via blog, email phone, and thank you for the prayers.

Andrew is NOT allowed to even go to school for 2 weeks. he CANNOT get another bump on his head at this time.... Actually they would like him to be a vegetable for the first 7 day! even a small shake of the head could cause more damage.. another bump on the head could actually cause brain damage so they say. He is seeing specialist from Pittsburgh that deal with sports medicine..... they treat the Steelers, and the Penguins and Pitt. And this doctor also sees other NFL stars that have had concussions He was actually on the Today show not too long ago...... Andrew is in good hands. Oh Kim you'll like this, today at the hospital ,the Pittsburgh Steelers Rookies came to see the kids.......Andrew got pictures with some of them and many autographs.... His favorite college player that was drafted from Michigan State was there...don't even ask me his name....
I am so tired, so tired........ i will try and return some calls tomorrow. I will be glued to Andrew for the next 48 hours. He is scheduled for many test over the next month or so in Pittsburgh....so I gotta learn to city drive mighty quick........
God is Good all the time........ and i am continually reminded of my many blessings... The hospital was filled with Children that will never heal on earth, it was filled with children that have been critically ill for years. What Andrew has is fixable and "healable"!!

I love you all.

PS. anonymous if you are reading this, i miss your comments :0)

Son life flighted to Pittsburgh this evening

Let me begin with he's going to be okay...... right after dinner today i received a call from the football trainer.......... I know his number by heart as he is always calling for Corey......... Corey hurt his ankle, Corey hurt his thumb......etc. So when i heard "Sandi, this is trainer Matt." I laughed and asked what happened to Corey today?, his voice sounded really weird, like he was really nervous, and he said it's Andrew, and he got hit in the frontal lobe of his skull, and he's not doing well. I immediately left and got to the field within 5 minutes. Andrew looked like a rag doll, he couldn't open his eyes....... and we had to fight him to stay awake, he couldn't walk or talk......he slurred his speech....he complained of severe pain in the head. The ambulance got there, and assessed the situation, and because Andrew wasn't doing any better they decided to life flight him immediately to Childrens Hospital Trauma Unit in Pittsburgh...... Albert, Andrews Dad, went in the helicopter with him, Bill ran home to get a few things need for and if Andrew was admitted to the hospital.. I went with Alberts parents, and drove to the hospital. I can't explain the fear of watching my son get on a helicopter, not knowing what was wrong, not knowing if his brain would swell and he'd lapse into a coma, not knowing if there was a bleed on the brain......... Not knowing, but just trusting all would be okay. Andrew was at the Pittsburgh hospital probably before we even left Saltsburg. I kept my composure pretty good... i didn't want to scare Sammy or Katie, or Andrew for that matter! Didn't want to talk to anyone........ just wanted to let Christina know to start praying...
..... by the time i got to Childrens it was already determined that his brain at this time is NOT swelling, And there is no bleed. He did bruise his brain, and he has a severe concussion. He is admitted, his Dad is with him tonight, and I'll be with him tomorrow. I'll head down tomorrow morning.... So many people immediately started to Pray for Drew, so many people called this evening to tell my daughter just that... so many people left me text messages offering to do anything that I may have needed.... Gosh!!!! so many wonderful beautiful special people in this world....

Andrew wanted his dad to stay tonight...... i know that he's 16 on Thursday...and i know if someone has to see his naked butt, he's going to want his dad and not his mom.

Albert is a wonderful father, Bill is a wonderful stepfather... my children are so blessed. It was sorta funny, The admissions nurse came in and I was answering tons of questions......... and it got to the point where she was asking family history..... who he lives with etc?? Well she found out that he had a father and a step father and she said she usually has to "worry " about that because of anger and fighting.... and i told her she didn't have to worry about it , actually Albert and Bill were at that time together in the cafeteria getting something to eat........ the nurse couldn't believe it.....she asked if we could give classes to 3 dozen families on the floor right now !!! I am blessed

Andrew is growing up, yeah he'll be 16 in a couple days.... but in my heart, he was a little baby boy being pulled from me as the helicopter took off.......God, i know though, he never leaves your grasp, and I trust you!

Goodnight

Happy Birthday Patti

Happy Birthday to my friend Patti in Arizona....

Good Day yesterday........ i got to speak with both Kim and Monica, and they are both doing well. Hey Kimmie, Moni would like to make a trip from Canada to hang with Us... you will love her in person as well as her adorable hubby Peter!!! And Monica, You'll love Kimmie, she is so real and fun, and adorable..... and Crazy!!! And Patti, gee you are so far away.... but i think we are going to plan for Next Fall correct???

Other than transporting my kids too and fro...... i spent the day at home, doing house work and watching *lifetime movies, or as my family calls it "chick flicks". today i go to Sammy's game, and then to work until this evening. Tomorrow I have off, and I would like to keep it that way.

My brother Doug found a house, they accepted the offer....so now it's paper work... he is going to move about 15 miles from me..... going in the opposite direction that i usually travel......... but i am sure I'll see them much more than when they lived in Florida 1000 miles away :0)

I am going to get going here, want to have the house clean for when i get back

Do I love him enough!!!

I am sitting there last night, top row of the bleachers, waiting desperately for the sun to go down, it was so hot. Ahhhhhhhhh high school football on Friday nights. I'd rather be cold and shivering, wrapped in blankets waiting to watch my two sons play.

my mind floods back to childhood memories, memories of going to football games with my mom and dad, watching my brothers play. i have five brothers, so I spent many many years going to those football games from 1976 until 1987. My mom, loved those games........she was one of those crazy cheering type of fans.....yelling until she lost her voice. She was so proud of her boys........ how would i even know what she was feeling until 20 years later,.... having now sons of my own in Varsity football. Andrew, God gave to me, almost 16 years ago. Corey I picked out almost 3 years ago. I get a little choked up when i watch Corey.... I love the boy, and love watching him play.... He now calls me Mama officially. But when he's out on the field, or on the side lines..... does he ever wonder about his birth mother, the mother that gave birth to him, and tried her best to raise him for 8 years.... I know that she just didn't do it right, i know that she was into substance abuse, i know she even tried to kill him, so Corey says. BUT she is his mom, and he does love her. Yeah we care, and we go and cheer him on at whatever he does...... whether it is a football game or the sweater hop court. Surely there are aunts and uncles, and grandparent, and cousins on his moms side and his dad's side. they just don't have anything to do with him., .... I know WE are his family now, My brothers and sister and sister in laws, are his Aunts and Uncles. My kids grandparents are His grandparents, my Children are his brothers and sister. Bill and Albert are both his fathers.....and I am his Mother!!! I do love him, do i love him enough? does he know that I love him? I tell him, i show him, I didn't give birth to him, and gee i didn't even start raising him until he was almost 13. He deserves that unconditional love that only a mom can give. I mean there are times that he infuriates me, he's 15 after all. there are times where i would like to hang him from his toes... but in honesty, There are times i feel the same about Andrew...... those mouthy teenage know it all boy years!!! Is it possible to love Corey the same way? I sure hope so, he deserves it!!! and i guess time will tell

Just got back from Curves...... did not want to go at all....... not even a little bit, BUT i am on a roll here, so i went, and now I am glad that i did..... i think I'm going to spend the day........cleaning, chilling, resting...

Donna went back to Florida today for a few months, she's going to babysit her grandson for one school year. Doug and I are fine..... and my nephew Mike i am ready to choke..... he's 21, laying around here sleeping and eating...... he's not doing a damn thing....... and that just ticks me off, knowing that i am working tons of hours, and still coming home to cook, clean, do laundry...... it's just not fair. He's out of here this weekend........

I am tired!!!!

last night i got a call from work, asking if i could please come to work and cover a few hours (7-11pm). My boss is so good to me, and she always tries to accommodate my schedule and last minute family/children problems. so of course i said yes......
i worked last night, went home, and came right back in by 7am. wouldn't you know, its when i KNOW that i have to go to work early, that i can not sleep well. I have been fine all morning, but it is now just catching up with me... i have about 40 minutes left on my shift. I don't mind working here, and actually as I've said before, I love this job and couldn't ask for a better less stressful job. usually it's all about me time. However, it still takes me away from home and my many many jobs that i do there to keep things flowing. So when i work many hours, i find that i have to do a lot of catch up work at home. Tonight my older boys have a football game at home. I love football.......love watching football, love going to see my sons play...... I am my mothers daughter.

I doubt that i will get any formal exercise in today, because when i get home, i think I'll take a nap..........even an hour rejuvenates me.

Hope all my friends and family plan on having a good weekend.....

Prayers for Nathan......

I just read Nathans carepage that My friend Kellie writes in... This family is going through this incredibly difficult journey right now.... this poor boy just isn't doing well. his options seem to be pain or severe pain!!! and the family has to just "watch" and pray, and wait. Nobody will treat him where they live, so they have to jump on a plane every time he gets sick :0(
Okay who wants to complain about their problems right now? NOT ME! I have no right. yes i am human, yes i have "situations" that i worry about. but I still need to put them in perspective. Actually things are going pretty good....... My Bill is back to being "my Bill" again, after he got off his chest, what was bothering him. The kids are doing well in school and football. I am back to work full force at a job that i really really enjoy. AND i am fitting in Curves as I should. My brother and I are getting along great......and I am actually going to miss him when he moves. whenever that will be. he doesn't want to be here forever either. And hopefully soon the hot/humid weather will be leaving......not this week though. because I'd love to be outdoors again, My allergies/asthma have improved over the past couple of days...

These are busy times for me, my days off of work are for my sons football games. so my Me time happens to be at work right now. and now at work we are very very busy because of the new school year.... so my me time will just have to wait another week or two :0)

well i am going to get going soon, and see what Chris' plans are for her morning...... we did Curves yesterday, and not sure if we are going today or not. Tomorrow i work at Kiski until 2pm, and then i could just go straight to Curves from there, we will see!!!

a whirlwind of a weekend

and where did it go? Saturday Katie turned 18. it's hard to believe that my "baby girl" is legally an adult, but hey let me say, I still have to tuck her in and kiss her forehead and tell her goodnight every evening.....so maybe she's not so adult yet!!! I spent the day helping my "bestest" friend with her daughter in law to be, bridal shower!!! It turned out really nice. and I just love Megan to death, she's like my "other" daughter.

There are some things going on that had me upset this weekend, and it is something we can definitely get through, we don't have another option. and in the scheme of things, and what i was actually thinking was wrong with my husband over the weekend...... in reality it's not that bad.... funny, because of my past history with my X husband, when Bill started acting "weird" , so much went through my head, like he's having an Affair, or he's doing drugs, or selling drugs. ....and all that it is, is a financial setback......... big deal. I should have known better about Bill, but for a month or so he's been acting so strange on and off..... and he was short and quick tempered.... totally out of his character. I actually thought that he didn't love me anymore... I hate just knowing things....... I could just sense a difference.... It just took me a while to figure it out :0). God didn't promise and easy life, but he did promise that He'd stick with me no matter what. **** hey where is my anonymous when i need her?, i bet she's on vacation****

Curves for me this week is going to be Tues evening, Thursday morning, and prob sat morning. Chris, make sure you kick my butt about going, even if we can't go together.

With work and football for three boys, my next couple of months are going to be so busy.

maybe I'll jump on later, i am here at work now, and should go through some charts.

T.G.I.F...........

yup it is Friday, and I think that I am happy with that. although I think I am pretty busy :0). This morning I am going to try and "hit" Curves ; I've got grocery shopping, try and see if I can make the life of my friend a little easier, and a football game. Tomorrow is Megan's shower, This is Christina's future daughter in law... and she is so Sweet. Chris lucked out getting her.... So I am thinking that i can slow down sometime around Sundayish/Mondayish

Went to Curves yesterday.... i must say I truly enjoy going. sometimes early in the morning i think, nah, don't feel like going, and then when i drag Christina there, or she drags me there........ with in minutes, we are saying........." i am so glad that i came!!!" it takes 30 minutes of My time, there are no excuses, although I'll try my hardest to find them.

My dear sis Kim had a doctor appointment for her eye problems yesterday, I am really praying that God has his hand in all of this, and Knowing Kim, God is up to his elbows dealing with her!!! She is one of a kind that is for sure. I miss ya Kim.......... we gotta gotta gotta get together again.

Kiski is keeping me so busy, but alas i have 4 days off...... so this gives me some "catching" up time with the house and such. A mothers work is never finished. Although i worked full time at kiski these past couple of weeks, i am still a full time mom, and housewife, and cook, and laundry person, and taxi, and mediator, ........

Chris? are you going to Curves this am.........and are we going to do.... you know what??? call me when you read this or I'll call you at 7:30ish

make this weekend a good one........

~~~Today~~~

I am sitting here at work right now, caught up on paperwork, fixed a scraped elbow, spoke with a homesick student... so i have a few minutes of quiet time. I am marking down all of my foods that I am eating, and keeping track of Carbs/Protein/Fat/Calories just as the Curves Nutrition plan asks. I packed my breakfast, lunch and snacks. it works out so much better to be organized. ff sf yogurt and berries; 10z of light cheese and 2 Bistro Crackers; 1/2 cup of Chicken salad made with chicken breast, celery, onion, grapes and light mayo with 1/2 of a tomato; and i brought a lean cuisine dinner ( glazed chicken) to eat if I end up staying late. The hardest part about this is eating all the food... and eating every 2-3 hours. that doesn't mean to eat a "thanksgiving meal" every 2-3 hours. but one of my meals consist of 1 individual serving of low fat cheese and 2 crackers. I am hoping, really hoping that just maybe I could go for a short walk today. I plan on going to Curves tomorrow early before i come to work. Tomorrow I work from noon until approx 8 in the evening. and then I am off for a few days. :0)

I've been thinking and praying for Nathan as of late. I sure hope he is doing well after the second brain surgery. I am sure his family is so busy right now, moving and all. but i do look forward to the little updates that they give on the Carepages... i find myself checking my mail all day just for that.

I am also quite busy that i do not have time to go and hang at the golf course right now... and i miss the "girls" Not much longer for the golf course, a couple more months and they'll prob close down for the winter season.

Gee i forgot, i have to meet with Corey's Case worker this evening......... gee!!! just when i thought I'd have the evening off to hike, or do whatever....

Oh well.

Eight months ago today

This world lost a beautiful person and heaven gained an awesome angel. like I've said before, I've never met her, but I must say she's changed my life so dramatically. i am still after all these months plugging along.... I am a regular at Curves, I am very aware of what i eat, even if sometimes I eat wrong..... I make regular doctor appointments even when Christina has to "push" me. I've had my first "woman's" check up in 10 years, and my first mammogram. My foot is well healed, and even with the minor setback this summer, i listened to my doctor, and The re-injured foot healed quickly and without major complications. I did a lot of hiking, and ready to start hiking again . OH yeah............ i forgot to let you folks know, my first pap smear showed "abnormal" in May....... So i had to have it redone in August............ I just got back my results yesterday, and everything was "Normal". Amen for that.
I still remember my promise to Melody. ... and work on it daily. I haven't forgotten you Melody, and I haven't forgotten what you stood for as a human being on this earth. I got that 10 mile hike to honor you to do yet.

I went to Curves yesterday, worked out pretty hard. today I'd like to attempt to get a "walk/hike" in at some point

First day of school for the kids yesterday went really well. Sammy had no problems and said he liked it. Katie goes to the high school in the mornings, and then she goes the afternoons and takes college courses at a local college. what a great opportunity for her, this is the same school she plans to attend for Nursing. so these classes she takes are a head start for her next year. Corey goes to the high school in the morning, and then he attends the Vo-technical school to study for a trade..... I think it's great that my kids aren't just wasting their high school years but using it to prepare them for their future years.

Gee i thought I'd have a day off today........ but my son Andrew is having a problem with very red/itchy/draining eyes. So I'll call the doctor this am and try and make him an appointment for today

talk to you later

these two should never hit on the same day I am telling ya!!!!

Oh my what a morning. I must say that peak emotional PMS and first day of school, first day of high school for my youngest son.... last first day of school for my daughter. It just doesn't work out!!! I've been crying all morning. I am one of those "odd" mothers that actually like summer vacation for my kids (most of the time). Every school year is always a sad reminder that time marches on........and slows down for no one. Katie is a senior in high school. she'll be 18 on Saturday. I remember her first day of preschool, 13 years ago. She threw up inside the car, she was so upset about leaving mommy. No throwing up today. Up until this Summer, Sammy the youngest has been my side kick and shadow. even last year he spent the mornings sitting next (almost on my lap) to me and chatting before he'd get on the bus. This year, he had to be tough, and I was lucky to get a kiss goodbye. No more elementary school..... another chapter in my life closed.......... have i mentioned yet that i am at my peak PMS time, and i feel like crying at the drop of a hat anyhow!!!! I do realize that my children are growing up healthy, and happy. i do realize that it would be very abnormal for my daughter to get so upset about leaving me that she throws up. I know that my almost 13 year old son shouldn't cling to me sitting on my lap all morning. I am blessed that my children are able to go to school. I am blessed that God lent me these children, even for just a short time. Last school year, Katie was too sick to go to school........ i am blessed that she is well. This is the 3rd year that my Son Corey has been with us. and i am blessed for that. This young man never spent more than a year with a family his entire life... and now he found home...... and he is doing well. He is no longer a foster son, but he is MY son. ( one, like my other 15 year old, that i can choke much of the time ;0) )

My life IS good, and full. .... I work at Kiski today so i will not be here when they get home. tomorrow i think i have a day off. Yeah!!!

It's a beautiful morning....... and for this I am happy~~~

Headache Gone........ Stomach Ache here

Yes my sinuses have finally stopped hurting.... I was put on antibiotics and a Nasonex spray on Wednesday, And I must say if i thought my sinuses where draining before........ I lied, cause let me tell you.... they are draining now. I take antibiotics as last resort, but i realize that two + weeks with a sinus headache so bad that it made me dizzy, it was time for me to do something. ( thanks Christina for nagging me so much about calling the doctor) I am not too upset about the stomach ache, and discomfort. i realize the antibiotics alone can cause stomach discomfort. and i am sure the 2 gallons of nasal drainage a day can't help either...

I've been so busy, I am working here at Kiski prep almost daily.... ( i am here now) And my one day off yesterday i spent all day at my son's football weigh in and scrimmage... being out in the hot hot sun and humidity wore me out. so i spent the evening reading, and chilling.

Autumn can't come soon enough.... i am ready for the "real" football weather.

Everything came to a head with me and my brother last night. This morning, there has been great progress made. I must say I feel much better. And in my brothers defense, he didn't understand where i was coming from.....i was seething inside, and giving him the silent treatment so to speak........ I should have set it all out on the table when i was feeling so stressed. He's going to pay rent while he lives with us. and we reach many more agreements that i don't need to go into detail here. But, let's just say.... he feels truly bad that he has done this to me...... he even shed a tear. ( you have to know Doug is a tough a** and doesn't like to show his feelings.) I don't want to stereotype here, but sometimes i feel especially woman, let things bother them, and just assume that the male gender are going to figure it out. Let's face it, Men as a rule can't read feelings and emotions like women can. I can be with someone and in about one minute.... i can tell what kind of mood they are in.

School starts for my kiddo's tomorrow....... this is Sammy's first day in the high school. he's such a confident young man, he is not too worried.. My other 2 were basket cases the first day in high school. Sam just doesn't worry about that stuff. gosh i love my kids so much...... they truly are my ultimate joys and accomplishments in my life.

Well after work, finally taking the kids school shopping... nothing like waiting until the last minute.

It is hard to believe that Melody has been working from Heaven for 8 months on Tuesday. I am sure for her family it feels like yesterday..... i still pray for them often, such a light left the Earth and that family.....

I work again tomorrow here, but i think I will do Curves first in the morning.......get it in before my day begins, or i may not be able to fit it in later.

Friends.....the greatest gifts on earth.

I couldn't imagine my life without my friends. I mean i love my family, but lets be honest, we don't choose them..... We are assigned to them. But Friendships are formed because of common interest, or another connection. And gee, friendships last longer than some marriages do... (right Christina)

Gina, Kim, Christina, and Kellie I appreciate your comments on yesterdays blog. And you all are right and made very valid points.........

The more i think about it this morning, (with much of Christina's telling me like it is) the more that i need to NOT feel guilty cause i am having a stressful time right now. Yeah it's not Kim's problems, or Kellie's problems, or the lost minors families in Utah's problems.... But it is my problem.... and right now it is causing me stress.

I was born an optimist, and i usually see the best side of every situation. and i truly try to live my life as i think "what would Jesus do" And i remember the bible passage when it speaks about ...... when you help people in need, you are helping Jesus. BUT.... this morning just now, i was thinking......... you know what? I don't think that Jesus was a push over. I don't think he allowed people to walk all over him. lets face it, My brother is not Needy!!! he's just lazy. and he'd rather save his money and not spend it right now letting me and Bill support him so to speak, I mean after all i am only raising 4 children.... what do i need money for?? :0) So I spoke with his wife last night, and i told her that Doug, if he is going to be here , is going to pay rent, she agrees completely. Doug is more than capable of getting work, so he NEEDS to get a job....... that's the only needy part of My brother that i truly see.

It is good to be back to work at Kiski Prep..... right now because we are filing and checking all medical records for all the students, I am kept pretty busy.... it's a process though, i mean we get students from Korea, China, Germany, Italy, Mexico, all over the world!!!

I went to Curves yesterday.... i so love going to Curves, I missed it, my body missed it those couple of weeks I didn't go. I think the end of September they are going to have those classes for the weight loss again... I'd like to do that too. I am not eating as well as i should have.....

Okay ............... I now know that Christina has been hanging out with me way too much........ I just had the biggest laugh I've had in a long long time......... okay, i peed my pants, and had a coughing spell at the same time.. Chris has a golf course, and over the past few days it has been raining, and the golf course is flooded out. so she needed to put a message on the answering machine to say such....... she calls me and asks me to call and listen to the message, because she isn't sure if she "got it recorded right.......

so this is how it went
................ ring, ring, ring ring........... " hello, you have reached Country Meadows Golf Course, ........... pause............ bang, bump bump.... damn i can't get this to work,................. shit................ grunt and groans heard from Chris............ click, bang bang............. ohhhhhhhhhh, ........ more grunts and groan heard from Chris............. click, click, bump,bump.................beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

i was laughing so hard, i mean so hard. See such a serious gloomy day began with Laughter........ how could i not have a good day after that.

Love and Blessings to you all. And for those that are my friends............ Thank you for being a good friend to me!!!

Stress............makes you sick!!!!

I am still not feeling great, I am okay, just sorta feel off center so to speak. my sinuses and ears are hurting, I am draining like a turned on faucet. I notice that i am wheezing more, and coughing. And if you look at past blogs, you can see the stressors are up and down. I am trying terribly to get it under control and put it in perspective. I keep thinking, gee Kellie would just about give her right arm to have my stressors. * her son is the one dealing with brain surgery and a lifetime of complications.* I know that this is wrong, but i sometimes get tired of doing the right thing.... i am tired of keeping my home open to needy people, i am tired of exercising, I am tired of eating right.... i am just tired. I truly feel that mental stress for long periods of time, are hard on the body... when you are under chronic stress, your body mechanisms work differently, and ultimately this causes a worn out body's resistance to drop......opening the door for all kinds of aches, pains, and infections. My brother and his family are still living here, and i don't see the end in site. My sister in law is wonderful, and she will be leaving soon...... and since the outburst i had with my brother several weeks ago, he has been great.... My home isn't my own, the family room we put in for the kids, is being taken over, that isn't fair to them, they are only going to be young once although he has provided dinner once or twice in the two months he has been here, and gave the occasional check.... nothing is consistent..... our electric bill and gas bill have doubled. i buy extra groceries, it's costing now almost 400.00 dollars a week just for groceries alone. yeah i have 3 sons who have tape worms in their digestive track right now, but i still cook dinner for my brother and his family daily. ... shame on me for complaining. I guess that I am just tired that is all. But something needs to be done soon. Donna my sister in law is one of the most wonderful people in the world. and i need to talk to her, I can talk to her about anything, and she doesn't get on the defense, my brother controls her, and actually this isn't her choosing, she wanted to stay where she lived, near her daughter and grandson. She may be able to get this straightened out.
well i got to go, Christina, call me if you read this...... if not, i just may catch you.. ummm, during your morning bathroom call :0)

In all of this, back to work now at Kiski, all the football starting with 3 sons and 3 different schedules, and school, I've GOT TO FIND TIME FOR ME!!!!

Nothing to complain about

I sit here thinking about this dang headache I've had for almost a week. and then i think shame on me, yeah, it knocked me down for a while, but at least i know it's origin, and it's coming from the sinuses and ears. Last night the, the congestion in my head let loose, and let me tell you, it let loose, drainage coming out of my ears, nose, down my throat, even my eyes were draining....... so i woke up without a major headache. I think of my friends young son, Nathan lives with headaches far worse than this.... and his poor headaches can't be fixed by decongestants.... Tylenol Sinus medication maximum strength!!!! This young man has a doctor appointment today, just several day's after his second brain surgery.... two brain surgeries this summer alone.......Please keep him in prayer... he told his mama he has sharp stabbing pains that come and go.... God Bless this little boy!!!!!
Back to work at Kiski prep. I so love my job there, it's nice going to work when you truly love what you do. I've been a nurse for almost 20 years. and the day that i don't totally love my job.....is the day I stop being a nurse.
Hopefully today will be a good one. I guess only I can decide to make it a good day.......... Christina and I have appointments for hair cuts today... i may go with something totally different..... maybe a little shorter, with a cut that works with all these dang curls. it's funny people with poker straight hair try to get it curly, and those with the curls are trying to straighten it...... we will see what happens,

Tuesday.........

yup, that's my title today........" Tuesday", original isn't it. I am thinking the terrible headache was stemmed from the sinuses. Sunday i felt much better, but Monday i woke up with a headache again.... some sudufed and Advil seemed to take care of it . Again i woke up this morning with a headache, and it's a frontal headache and it surrounds my eyes. As i am up........it seems like it is subsiding.
Curves went well yesterday, and I am able again to work harder on the machines. My foot is doing really well, actually not causing me any problems. actually Gina, i may walk this evening......let me know if you want to go. Obviously no 7 mile hikes right now.... but we can do 2 or 3 miles.
I am heading into my "favorite" time of the year..... the mornings are getting cooler, it's staying darker in the AM longer. the air smells fresher.... autumn is knocking on the door. I noticed yesterday evening, the birds are gathering in large groups.... that's just another sign that the season is changing. The boys all started football practice yesterday, and school is just a couple of weeks away. Sammy is going to the high school with his brothers and sister now..... no more elementary...... another phase of my life is over......and a new phase is beginning. Can't change it, so i might as well enjoy it :0)

Well to everyone, have a great day today......

48 hour headache

Wow........... never had a headache like this....... it started out Friday morning when i was just feeling tired.... by that evening, I couldn't even look at sunlight, or watch TV, or read.... and i was so nauseous. So i took a couple Ultracets, and went to bed. Got up early Sat morning, around 8am. but still had the headache so bad, that i couldn't focus..managed to do a little house work, and crawled back into bed at 10:30 or 11 am, and slept until 4pm, woke up so dizzy, couldn't even walk straight.... I threw up my dinner, and went back to bed. I don't know if this stems from sinuses or what? the pressure was behind my eyes and in my face. The nausea was, i think ,secondary from feeling so dizzy, maybe my inner ears are inflamed. who knows? This morning, not feeling as bad...... going to try and move a little more today... house has been staying in order..... kids have for a change been at their friends homes instead of their friends being at our home........ so it's been a quiet weekend!!! just what i needed.

I think Bill and I are heading to town this am...... so I'll see how i do..... I'll get on later and let you know if i survived headache 2007.

my life..........

good morning..... it's early and quiet so I'll take a few minutes to have some me time. Again my blog is inspired by listening to Joyce Meyers. Her message today was based on "loving your life". How much time is spent wasted by wishing things in your life were different? I'd love to be a size 6 and never have to worry about exercise and diet . I'd love to have all the money i need at my disposal. I'd love to have a house in total order. I'd love to look like those models on TV that look so perfect like a barbie doll. But you know what? That is NOT the life that God has chosen for me. I am and will always have to work at getting my body healthy. I will always be needing money for something, for the mortgage, the kids, the car, ...... I have children, 4 of them, enough said about a house in order. I've always lived with the policy that my home is an Open door. My boys always have one friend or another here, my mother in law and father in law lived here last year, and now my brother and his wife are here. My friends know they can just come and walk in........ That's just how it is! Yes i have rules to follow, and i won't let myself get taken advantage of. After this weekend when i "blew up" at my brother, it's a long story, but things are working out much better since.. .. and Peace has again entered into my home. So i can't Open my home, and then complain because people enter, now can I???
I am happy with my life, the only other option is to be depressed with my life.... and what a waste that would be!!!
The facts are, I am one of 8 children. my father was an alcoholic and controlling and abusive. 13 years before he died, he excepted Jesus in his life and spent the rest of his days on this earth going to Churches and youth groups and prisons and meetings talking about how the abuse of alcohol destroys families. (because of his change, and the restitution he made in honor of God, i have "forgotten his past before this") There was a period in my life where i was abused by a family friend. My dad died early in life, and my mom, my dearest friend, died a few years later. My husband of 10 years, the father 0f my 3 children left me, when the kids were very young......yeah I could go on about my little "sob" story... But in reality it is not a sob story....... it is MY LIFE! and a life i wouldn't change. My dad was an abused little boy, he became abusive, but because of his past. when his path changed, i remember the many many people who was touched by my dad's story, and who's life changed too, by the grace of God. life happens, and if my mom would have lived, it would have prob been in a nursing home in pain, She didn't suffer long, God took her home early. The abuse i experienced, God has made my spirit stronger. I am remarried to a man who adores me and the kids.We have been married almost 6 years. my X husband gets along wonderfully with my new husband and I. making it a very peaceful life for my children. This is my body........and it's always going to be this way. i will not magically get thin and stay thin over night. Knowing this, Accepting this is the first step in my journey to better health. and hey it's so much fun doing this journey with my bestest friend :0)
I've told my newest Son, who lived a hellish childhood and had been in the foster system for years.... " yeah your life really sucked, and i am sorry about that. there is nothing we can do about what happened with your past. you are here now, and have been for going on 3 years. I refuse to allow your past to become a crutch, i refuse to allow your past to ruin your future. My son is doing wonderful now, they stopped his counseling almost a year ago, his grades are getting better, he's very social (too social, ah, 15 year old boys) He's happy, healthy, and annoying just as teenage boys should be!!!! He's not living in yesterday....... he's living today!

wow, must have been in a 'talkative' mood today. but this too must end. i go this AM for my second pap smear because the first one a few months ago, was abnormal. Not even nervous this time...... and for those people keeping track i now know that i am not .....in the "grove" of things but the "groove" of things... me and my spelling :)

well to all, This is your life, and your life only. make the best of it. and don't worry about what is on the other side of the fence... your own pasture is just as green.

Dear Anonymous, Thank you

Anonymous, I just want to thank you for your in site and all your little messages that you leave me...... i have a dear friend who is going through so much right now. and your message to me , hit home for her.....at a time when she needed it most. It literally changed her day :0).

I went to Curves today, and it feels good to get back into the grove of things.... it seems like it's not taking my body long to get back to where it was ....... but then again, i just missed a couple of weeks. Right now it is so hot and humid here, and i can't really hike in this.... i have a tough time with asthma like symptoms. so I am just waiting this out!!! So pretty soon Gina.....we'll be able to do those evening hikes.

busy day today........ taking my son for his football physical. and going grocery shopping and then not sure what I am going to be doing after that. but i am sure, something will come up.

Kim i am going to try and call you right now......

... A Kim day

that sounds pretty good! I AM in need of a Kim day, let's try and figure it out. I'll call you, i really will with my phone number. I'll make Christina remind me :0).
I have had an "emotional" weekend. maybe it's hormonal, maybe I've got a lot on my plate, or maybe i am just plain crazy. I am so busy, and right now my life is not my own. I am fitting exercise in, but i have so many appointments to fit in with 4 kids getting ready for school and sports. I have one son left who needs his physical for sports, which is scheduled this week. and i have my second pap smear to do yet again because of abnormal cells from the last. . . . I still am scheduling my Curves, and am beginning to walk a couple miles here and there. Over all my "neighbor patient" has been doing pretty well. I was needed yesterday. so i guess that is pretty good.
I am "clashing" with my brother being here, i do love him, but you just gotta know what I am going through.... And i am trying so hard to get my "joy" back. but it's taking me a while.
Curves with Christina today I think, I'll pick you up at about 10 till 8 or i guess i could just say 7:50 am
I now need to go look at my schedule book this am and figure out exactly what i am doing this week. School is just around the corner...... please tell me, what happened to this summer???

it's feeling good!!!

Well I've been to Curves twice, and yesterday Chris and I went for a 2 mile walk... it feels so good to be back in the grove... It's funny, when I exercise regularly, i find myself eating better. it's almost like i don't want to sabotage the work I've put into myself. My foot is tolerating the exercise well. and that is a plus. Last night for a moment in the middle of the night, foot pain woke me up. I soon realized that it was just a cramp. and by morning, it was fine.

Nathan the little boy dealing with brain surgery did well for the surgery. However right now he has a fever of almost 104. so something just isn't right. This poor young man....

I've been running around so much the past few days...... so it's going to be nice to just hang at my house right now.......maybe!!!! My Florida family returned yesterday.. so the house is sorta crazy.. i can always go to Chris' to chill if I need to.

Well i think i am going to put on my 10 hour sauce, make some Chicken salad and do some prepping for my healthy Curves plan foods.

have a nice weekend

Yeah......... back to Curves

I am released to go forth...........and exercise!!! My foot is doing pretty good. i just have to listen when it tells me that i am doing too much. I am allowed to begin Curves again (I've missed 2 weeks) And I can start hiking again, But just a few miles at a time. i am going to have to wait awhile to do those 5,6,7 mile hikes that i love. lets see what else, wear my orthotics when i am even doing housework. and where the big ol' hiking boots when I am walking outdoors. elevate and ice when necessary, and Motrin for the inflammation. I got it.

Hey Kim, I'll call you soon. My Internet was out for a couple days. So i may call you after my dental appointment today. I sure do miss you girl. Hey i think Katie misses you too :0)

Please Pray for Nathan today....... the little boy of one of my friends that is having brain surgery again.........God Bless Him and his family. Kellie his mom is so strong, and she does the best that she can to keep her family at peace....

Well it's planned as of yesterday. Bill and I are going at the end of October for a mini vacation. we will be staying at a hotel in Gettysburg Pa. it's a beautiful part of Pennsylvania. and it is during Halloween. so there are these "ghost" trial hikes, and shops, and Civil War History and lots of hiking and walking. I am already getting excited. no children this time. it is important for Bill and I to make time for ourselves. He's been such a selfless husband. coming into a family with 3 kids and all. and he immediately put my children first. And he's kept it that way for 6 years. I remember our first anniversary, we had made plans to go to Niagara Falls (Canadian Side) we had this beautiful room directly above Horseshoe Curve Falls. with a huge whirlpool tub in the room and everything. well Bill thought it would be really neat to take the kids with Us too. So we celebrated our 1 year anniversary playing in the arcade, and visiting Ripley's Museums, enjoying pizza's and burgers... I think if Bill did nothing else, Him being so good and loving my kids.......I'll love him forever, just for that.

Well I need to go get ready, Picking Up Christina at 7:45 am and heading to Curves..... taking the boys in to football practice first. and then dental appointments for everyone today......

I am slightly emotional these past couple of days, which means one thing..... in the next 48 to 72 hours i should "start". my body is like clock work.

Melody.... it's because of you that i can't get off track 100 %, i would love to just hang around this morning...... but i can't , i made a promise to you. and that is so important to me..... its about time for me to read your journal again...it's been a couple of weeks....... and I must remember. it's already been 7 months since reading your journal changed my life... to many i am sure that is but a moment. May God continue to Bless your family and give them peace