There is such a fine line between being "selfish" and being "selfless" You see I want to put myself first, and worry about everything else later. I am a mother, therefore do my kids come first?, I am a wife, does my husband come first? I am employed, does my work come first?
These past days, obviously my son has been my priority. Last week I didn't go to Curves at all. Didn't even care, wasn't a thought. Yesterday I went to Curves for a workout, and I felt pretty good (thanks Christina). Suddenly after Andrews accident, I didn't matter, I didn't think about working out, didn't think about eating, I didn't think about how my clothes fit, or anything like that......... I just wanted Andrew to be Okay!!!!
I didn't worry about work either.
Maybe my thinking is distorted, It IS okay for my brother to keep an eye on Andrew, I mean my trip to Curves, workout , and trip back home is under an hour. My son is recovering, but the Critical time is over, he's not going to fall asleep and lapse into a coma. It IS okay for me to take an hour and go for a walk in this beautiful weather.
I need to be real in my thinking....... it's not like after the accident, I decided to go on a two week Bahama's vacation, lying on the beach, sipping some kind of tropical drink complete with an umbrella and cherry.
Being a Mom, is my greatest accomplishment in my life no doubt. But I have got to realize that it IS important that I am "ME" first. I am of no use to anyone or anything if I am not healthy. my husband deserves some of "me" too. as well as my friends and my work. Andrew is going to be down for a while yet, and yes he does need me. (shhhhh, don't tell, he doesn't know that yet) and yes we have plenty of trips to Pittsburgh for doctor appointments, but he's 16 not 6. He can hang here at the house, and I CAN go to Curves, I can go grocery shopping, I can take a walk on the trails, I can go to work, and I can go away with my husband for a day.
Monday Christina starts the Curves 6 week nutrition plan, and although i can't make it to the meetings, I plan on doing it with her. And I am back to work..... and I am back to working out . Andrew will be okay, it's just going to take time.
have a good day folks, and remember to put yourself first......once in a while!!!
ps. Hello Annonymous, it is great to "hear" from you again. It's funny, I do not know you.......but you represent someone, someone faceless, yet who has many faces...... if that even makes sense!!!
3 comments:
Hi Sandi,
Its good to be back with you as I always enjoy reading and commenting within your blog.
I was going through some trials and tribulations and needed to divert my attention fully to the Father as I knew these times were put in front of me in order to draw me closer to my Father. He has healed me in ways far greater then I can express and the Holy Spirit within me is once again strong and ready to do battle when needed and rejoice simply because it is able to do so.
One other note, I go by anonymous because who I am does not matter, as Gods presence and His word are the only glory I want to be seen within my comments. I hope you understand.
Sandi, Hang in there. Andrew will be fine in no time. He is in GREAT care. The way he feels when he moves and in the car is how Nate feels most of the time but he has his good times now too. If YOU don't take care of YOU how will YOU be able to take care of everyone else??? I have learned the hard way so don't do what I have done. Your body spirit is only strong for so long. Refresh yourself and take care.
xxoo Kellie
Well written article.
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