Friday, November 30, 2007

It's so quiet here.....

Bill and Albert took all the kids to the hockey game tonight, And i am left all alone. I am not feeling the greatest, and Bill felt bad for leaving me, until i assured him, i was going to shower , and curl up and watch Christmas movies in a very quiet house. I don't get this too often, so i do take advantage. last month was a very light easy period, (sorry if any males read this), and this month, is making up for it.........let me tell you. I am miserable, and lets just say, I need to stay very close to the bathroom.

I've been thinking about Alex, my nephew, a lot lately!!! As i said before, in my mind he is still a little boy.....with blond curly hair, the prettiest eyes and lips.... and a sunshiny disposition. Although through the years, with him moving to Oregon, and Albert and I divorcing.... i want him to know, I've always thought about him, and asked about him, and kept up with him through grandma and grandpa and Katie. And i did see him the last time he visited. As he got older, he didn't come home with his family as often!!! ...... Oh Alex, hope you are having fun in heaven buddy. Katie said you guys will always be cousins with that special childhood connection ( she used different wording of course )

well i am feeling pretty crampy, so i think I'll go and lie down and use the heating pad..... and wait for my family to come home...

Have a safe weekend everyone

Thursday, November 22, 2007

sadness on Thanksgiving.

I was getting ready to do the Thanksgiving Blog at 8 this morning...... i even started it with....... what a beautiful day and so much to be Thankful for........... and then the phone rings, it is my X husband calling to tell me that my nephew, was killed in a Car accident last night. He was the same age as Katie, (just turned 18 in September) and he was our neighbor for the first 6 years of his life. He and Katie were inseparable before he moved to Oregon 13 years ago. what a punch in the stomach. I feel for the grandparents, and his parents, and he has a 14 year old brother and a 8 year old sister. Alex , a blond haired, blue eyed, sweet sweet boy no longer with Us. Katie took it the hardest, these days with computers and my space, and Verizon to Verizon cell phones.... it was easy to keep in touch. I can't imagine the pain that his mom feels....... I try, but i just can't. She is an awesome mom. How do you go on? How do you ever find joy again? How do you try and go on for the kids left behind?........ the sadness....... Alex, I'll always be your Aunt, and I'll always remember the little blond boy........giggling and laughing with Katie!!! I love you.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Happy Halloween................ Merry Christmas!!!!!

A few weeks ago the store shelves were filled with bright orange and black, pumpkins and witches, skeletons and ghosts, blood and "guts.....and then on November First, green and red took over, Santa and Snowmen, evergreen trees and ornaments, fake snow and lights!!!! well, it is bad enough that we took Christ out of Christmas, but to take "Thanks" out of giving now!!! What is happening to Us? Our world is moving faster and faster!!! and where do we hold on? (Hey i wrote a little poem about that years ago, when i felt the world was getting so scary). Yeah maybe we can't change the entire world over night, but we can start with our lives, our home. Instead of give me, give me, and I want, I need!!!! start saying Thank you, I have.... , what can I give to you? what can I do for you?
Thanksgiving was my moms favorite holiday of the year, and when i was younger, I just couldn't understand that. first off, you don't get presents on Thanksgiving, you don't go door to door getting candy either!!!! you don't receive cute little red heart shaped cards. and gee there aren't any fireworks to ohhhhh and awwwwwwwwww over!!! Thanksgiving for my mom, was getting up at 3am to put the 20 lb turkey in the oven, even though you just went to bed at 1am after making 10 pies.... i came from a big family with little money....... but we had food. and my mom was an awesome cook. my mom spent her life being thankful for what she had, she was thankful that we were all there to sit around the table. she was thankful for the food daddy put on the table. She didn't have to stress abut presents, or decorations, or shopping!!! Now that I am older, I understand how truly important Thanksgiving is. God Thank you for all that you have done for me. Bill Thank you for always putting me first. Kids Thank you for loving me for no reason other than I am your mom. And my Friends Thank you for being such an important part of my life
Ahhhhhhhhh, cup is overflowing!!!!

Monday, November 19, 2007

The result of a positive attitude

okay........ so last week, the washing machine stopped working, the dryer stopped working (almost). The van's check engine light was on (actually it came on the day before heading to Joyce Meyer). and the engine was sounding really really bad.. Then Katie lost the brakes while driving the other car. ... So at first i was overwhelmed, and started to worry about what I was going to do being as our finances aren't leaving us tons of extra money. Andrew's improved status, did a nose dive down hill.... After I decided that I wasn't going to let Satan take away my joy, after i realized i was in control with how i dealt with these issues....... after I truly trusted God................ after I gave these problems to Him, .............. well let me tell you how things panned out over the past few days. 1.) the Van check engine life went off, the noise decreased by 80% 4 days ago. 2.) When Chris' husband Larry came to replace the pump on the washing machine it was found that it was just a bobby pin stuck in the pump.... removed bobby pin....... washing machine works fine. 3) Dryer's very loud noise when turned on has disappeared. 4) the second car, a day before we were going to have it towed, X husband checked and found a small leak in the brake lines........ easy, cheap fix. He did himself. 5.)Andrew woke up Friday morning at 9:30am after sleeping basically since Tuesday afternoon. (he'd wake up, but couldn't stay awake for any length of time) His headache and dizziness was gone. he was even able to have his weekly breakfast at Christina's. All I can say is Thank you God!!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

bad news.......good news, bad news........good news!!!!

well,BAD NEWS is.......... The car that Katie uses, yesterday while she was driving on a major highway, the brakes quit... i mean 100% no brakes, she was driving about 60 miles an hour, and she went to slow down because a car was turning in front of her, and the brakes where gone... GOOD NEWS, she was able to ride on the side of the road, and pump the brakes enough to slow the car down, she was able to eventually stop the car on the side of the road. She wasn't injured, and she prevented an accident. (thank you God)
BAD NEWS, Andrew has greatly regressed since he tried the one day of back to school. he went to school on Tuesday, came home from school and has basically slept until noon today. he has a bad headache, extreme dizziness, foggy mind, he can't even watch TV right now. He is now back to home schooling as tolerated until at least mid December. GOOD NEWS, the prognosis is and remains excellent,. His physicians warned that this could happen if he wasn't careful about listening to the signals of his body. Andrew wanted so bad to be back to normal, that he pushed himself too hard, and as a way for the brain to "protect" it self while healing...... it stopped working for him. We all tried to tell Drew, to go slow, tell someone when your head feels funny......etc... but we must remember, He is still just 16. and kids tend to think they are Invincible... hopefully he has learned his lesson. As mom and dads we are going to have to be more diligent in making sure we monitor how Andrew is doing, and what he is doing...

well i am going to get going right now, I went to Curves today and loved it. I am working hard again, and it feels sooooooooooo good.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

....and this is why I love him ........

right now after a 9 hour work day, my husband comes home and goes directly to the local laundry mat to wash....... almost 10 loads of laundry!!! because he thinks i've been too busy working too. and he doesn't want me down there by myself... now understand i live in a little country town, that the worst crime to date was probably when kids broke into the high school and set off fire extinquishers. This is what Love really is!! in his eyes, it's all about Me!!!!, and who am i to complain??? I am just comfortable with him. and yes I like being around him.. we grocery shop together, and watch football games together, we watch House Hunters together, we bet on which house they will purchase. . . . . . . . . . . it's hard to believe that we will be married 6 years in a couple of weeks. ... he can be such a pain sometimes, once he get's upset about something he can hold on to that for like........ever!!! but if he can as a rule, over look my faults, i guess i can do the same for him. now understand this didn't happen over night, it's a process that couples have to work on.........marriage ain't easy!!!

wow i have two days in a row off, wait, three days!!! yeah i work Saturday and then I am off for 10 days during Thanksgiving break.... I'd like to get organized to do some backing and cooking.

Andrew did pretty good his first day back, he came home with a pretty good headache, and couldn't do his tutoring today......actually he hasn't left the couch all evening! this is what is to be expected, he wants to be Mr. Tough guy, who can't tell the teacher he is getting dizzy!!! which in turn ended up being a pretty nasty head ache. It will come, but i guess we all need to be patient.

I am loving being back at Curves.........this place is just so awesome...... i have been sporatic at best the past 2 months.... and i must say, i do like my Yoga tape, only did like 15 minutes yesterday....... but it too is a slow process building my flexibility and endurance back up.

Well if I get off work early, I will go down and help Bill fold/dry/load clothes. Albert has a washer/dryer at his house that isn't used....... ( his mom does his laundry......., even when he stays at his house sometimes).......and I wonder why our marriage had problems, he's always loved his mom more than me. well anyhow Albert told Bill he could use his washer/dryer.. yes since those two started working together, i feel so left out (I am joking here) But seriously my kids are so dang lucky, that is all that I can say.

Have a good day, a good evening, a good life.

p.s. I think Christina might just like Joyce Meyer, she watched her this morning......... i think she liked what she heard Kim...

Monday, November 12, 2007

~~Andrew goes to school tomorrow!~~

I spent a part of my morning at the high school, one, discussing how to get my son's (Corey) geometry grade up, and two, talking with the Principal and faculty about Andrew. This school has been awesome dealing with Andrew. they are literally putting out the red carpet for this boy... they've moved classes around, changed teachers, deleted some classes....they have worked it out that he will have breaks in between each class. subjects like Chemistry, that require a lot of brain power, he will be able to use open book policy even for test. He will have a tutor in school as well as an evening tutor at home to help with his school work and projects. for a while he will have 1/2 days. I will be picking him up before noon!!! Wow, and Dilemma 2007 at the Blystone household is coming to a close!! I am blessed.

Actually i am doing great........ is my washing machine still broke? yup! Is my clothes dryer ready to crash? yup! Is my car's check engine light on? yup!, does the car make a really really funny noise? yup! Is our Car Insurance, house Insurance, and property taxes due ? yup!! ...... And I just figure that it will work out. it always does, my husband has been offered unlimited overtime right now, a thing that never happens. I keep getting called to "take" days for co workers.... actually picking up one tomorrow too. My husband and daughter and son Corey has offered to take all the clothes to the laundry mat and wash them while i am at work tomorrow. You know all about Christina, but she has this equally wonderful husband, whom i adore!!! Larry is one of those men, who in my eyes .......seems to be able to do anything and everything, and can do nothing wrong!!! Not counting my hubby Bill, my X father in law, and Chris' husband are the top 2 of my favorite guy list. and of course if my daddy were still alive, he'd be up there too. When Albert first left me, i was clueless, scared, and lost about things........ It was Larry who kept an eye on my car for me, or came up and checked why i didn't have water coming out of the faucet, or plowed my driveway when it snowed a foot..... Now that i have my wonderful husband Bill........who knows slightly more than my nothing, we both rely on Larry to Check our washing machine out/ tell us the part we need/ and then fix it! Bill always checks with Larry before he attempts anything on the house. (Larry is the one that did our family room, and added on our master suite) When an appliance needs installed, we get Larry! I truly don't know what I'd do with out that family. That is why I'd do just about anything for them!!!

So i guess it really is all about Attitude! and I guess although i cannot control everything breaking down around me. I can control my reaction to it! And i can Look to the Heavens and be thankful for my life, trials and all.............. gee I bet Satan hates that!!!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

if it seems the fates are against you today.... they probably are!!!!

It wasn't my greatest morning this morning. And i found myself overwhelmed and easy to tears. To begin with my washing machine isn't working right, it turns on and rotates, but it doesn't spin the water out :(, now this really upset me. this week I was behind on laundry working all the evening shifts and all of Drew's appointments. and you have to understand, I can't get behind in laundry at my house....or we may all get lost. So i am thinking, gee how can this break, we don't have the funds right now for a washing machine....... and i began to worry and dread. BUT i did go to Curves today, and hanging with Christina is always a pick me up!!! and she helps me to put life in perspective when i get so down!!! So I work out at Curves, it feels pretty good, and then we figure out that I could go to Chris' house and do some laundry this morning. So I get in my car, wouldn't you know, it doesn't want to run right, the engine light is coming on......but it sounds really really bad!! .... "i just want to cry". had a nice time doing laundry at Christina's. ..... so i see this fortune cookie on the table, and i had an urge to read it, knowing it was my fortune of the her son Mike reads it to me........... and what do you think it said??? ".... if it seems the fates are against you today, they probably are!" I had to laugh... how many fortune cookies give negative messages.......... not many!!! I should have just crawled back into bed right then. So i get home, and there was one load of laundry that i didn't i put them in my dryer.......and would you believe it didn't work either now........ what gives!!! However in the mean time, I put my problems in perspective today... so.......... I raised my fist in the air, and I yelled out loud, " Satan you can't take away my joy, God is in control of my life!!!" I am feeling better, Andrew is doing great, I have this awesome pain in the butt husband who loves me, I have the greatest friends in the world. I have a beautiful warm home, we may be a little tight financially right now, but we pay our bills, we have good food for the table, we have a little extra to order pizza, or go out to eat every now and then. My foot feels great, i am having no problem ( last year at this time, i could barely walk) My blood work came back perfect!!! I am sitting here at my job that i love, it's so quiet, most of the kids are off campus for the weekend, So i am reading a good book, drinking warm chamomile mint tea, eating a snack of an apple and Cheddar cheese.... i realize how blessed I am!!!

tomorrow I actually have a day off, I got to figure out how to wash my clothes...and I'd like to do my Yoga tape. but that is it......... The kids are going to their grandparents for dinner, so it's just Bill and Me for a while,....... i am sure he will have plan's of his own........ football!!!!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Yoga, And Sore Muscles.... is that possible??

You know when you think of Yoga........ you really don't think of "working" your body out. but oh you do, in such a different way. ... and my muscles are hurting, but not the way they were hurting before, and I don't know how to explain it. it's like okay, I've been shallow breathing for like ever..... and all of the sudden I am doing this exercises that require me to take in deep breaths, you know the kind....... "feel your self breathe, feel the breath coming from the tailbone", since when do you breathe from your tailbone??? hey but if you concentrate, really concentrate, you can feel as your lungs expand...., you can almost imagine, as your spine lengthens that just maybe, just maybe the tailbone IS breathing!! So past couple of days I've been forcing my lungs to expand, and i have been holding this position and taking almost 30-40 seconds to release one breath. I really believe that I am feeling better. Am drinking so many fluids...... lots of water, I've stopped the diet soda, (don't think that is good for you any more than regular soda is ) today at work I am drinking mini pots of herbal tea, right now its chamomile and mint, and hey didn't even use splenda, and didn't realize i didn't use it until after the pot of tea was already done. I may work late tonight, and if i do, i brought the yoga for weight loss tape with me, but i am thinking maybe i shouldn't do this everyday yet?? i will have to check this out, i know when i weight lift, i need a day in between to rest the muscles. Also, If i don't work late, I plan on going to Curves a few days early. I am feeling better, and I am not coughing hardly at all. So instead of Monday, I was thinking about going tomorrow morning.

Hey Patti, you know how for years, you worked at getting your body healthy, loosing sizes ..... and you kept plugging along... but it was a time when it just "clicked". well for my buddy Christina....... it just clicked for her, and she looks great. oh she's been working at it, and she's been exercising..... for years. Well lately these pants that she kept in her closet, are fitting her..... and she's really just learning to eat smart..... I am so proud of her~~~ wait until you meet her Patti, you two will get along, i just know it.

the Curves Nutrition plan is really a sound plan, with easy to follow directions it's all about lean protein, complex carbs, eating frequently, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. It's about learning to read labels and know that all "whole wheat" breads are NOT created equal. It's about drinking water, and exercising..... and loving yourself in the process

Okay on another topic............. GREAT NEWS!!!! Andrew had his last day of Therapy today(vestibular therapy) it was intense therapy, and the last time he went he got sick. the therapist said she'd like to train other area therapist to learn vestibular therapy, but the one machine alone cost well over $120,000 It is a bugger to get to this part of Pittsburgh, and it's at least 45 minutes away and I told his therapist I'd of brought him 7 days a week if I had too!!! It is awesome to know that after the accident, and when they figured out that when one eye focused, the other went in a different direction, that the EYES could be trained to work together again. So Andrew has this triangle of help, His concussion specialist, His headache specialist, and Vestibular therapist........ and they all work together for the best interest of Andrew. Now Andrew may have only went weekly to the therapist, but he had lots of "homework" and exercising that he had to do twice a day when he didn't go... why am i rambling again, I'm just happy right now, and my happiness is well deserved, but there is a slight shadow in my joy..... and i am remembering beautiful Nathan, and his difficulties. I've just drank a teaspoon out of the gallon of hardship that Nathan and his family must feel. And I am humbled with this knowledge!!! I was told from the very beginning that Andrew would get better....... the time frame could of been 2 weeks to a year, BUT the prognosis was almost 100% healing. Nathan's family doesn't have that prognosis, actually these people don't really even know what to expect.. they have to just take one day at a time, the good and the bad. Please Please Please keep Kellie and her family in your prayers.

Well I should go and work...........since i am at work!!!!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

So sick, and so Healthy!!!!

I received all of my blood work back, and I don't have mono nor elevated EBV, I don't have Pneumonia. And my blood work is absolutely down the middle of the road picture perfect. I do have Asthma right now that seems to be really flaring up. as of Monday i was running a fever of 100.1, not a high fever, just a low grade. I'll check it again at work today... I am tired, but not as tired, and my muscles hurt...... but if i rate my muscle pain between 0-10 right now I'd have to say it is a 5. I coughed and coughed and coughed last night, started wheezing, took my inhaler and a benadryl waited about 1/2 hour and then went to sleep..... a really nasty coughing jag woke me up this morning.... I have a constant stream of mucous draining down my throat.... (Sinus/Allergies). This is the third year in a row that i got this......... at almost exactly the same time!!! man what gives????" today I did 30 minutes of yoga for weight loss, my thought is, because in yoga the main thing is to concentrate on breathing and taking deep breaths, and holding your breath,.......... well maybe this would help my lung volume. maybe i can actually exercise my lungs to work better??? Do you out there have any other ideas? I figure Curves next week.... not sure i want to hack all over the machines and get everyone else sick.... and JUST because i am taking a week off of Curves, that doesn't give me permission to take a week off of how i am eating. Actually i am not interested in food right now..... last night I had a bowl of soup!!!, my main concern is fluids...... i am trying to flush out with water and warm herbal tea....... Chamomile and mint.... mmmmmmmmmm!!! I guess i have to treat my immune system, and not the illness. Our bodies are amazing, and if we let them. ........they can heal themselves.... I am staying away from sugar...... which includes white starches. and processed foods. Now i am doing fruit right now......, a cup of fresh berries, or an orange........ just aren't gonna kill me........ and i need the Vit C and the antioxidants............ now enough of this health talk.

Andrew had another appointment, and the frontal brain lobe is finally healing like it should...... He hasn't been released yet......... after this round of home schooling, he can start back to school for 1/2 days with tons of rules and restrictions........ like open book tests, no timed test, frequent rest periods, written or audio taped study notes..... and a slew of other things..... I feel by Christmas break Andrew will be back to Andrew. oh he can start lifting weights again ........light weights/many reps. and he can really up his cardiovascular another notch

Well I think I'll get going for now....... have a great day.

Nathan, how are you doing little man? I pray for you all the time. and i think you have a great mom........shhhhhh don't tell her.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Maybe the flu?

Not sure, yesterday was my first day off to just relax....... so i did just that. I am drinking ton's of water and pure cranberry juice, (yuk, diluted 1:1 with water) I have a very chronic left flank pain, maybe i have a kidney infection which would also cause such muscle pain. my muscles still hurt so much, mainly in my rib region. I am still congested, ......oh well, what can i do? I went to the doctor on Thursday. haven't heard anything back, maybe today. I do have to work this afternoon, as well as Weds. and Fri. Andrew has appointments on Tues and I think Thursday. Oh and I work on Saturday....... so there is my week in a nut shell
Maybe I'll get on and type more later, i just ache all over, and sitting at this desk is uncomfortable.........what is a woman to do???

Friday, November 02, 2007

Almost a 5th child!!!

yeah, a couple of days ago, the agency we work with called me and told me they had a young man in our school district in need of a home, so that he could graduate from this school He is a 17 year old senior. It took me off guard, but i didn't immediately say no, as I needed to wait, think, and pray about it. Also It would never work unless I had 100% support from everyone in my home. I also needed to gather information, because regardless of this child's need... my children's needs come first, and I couldn't endanger whom i am protecting now. So if he his sexually aggressive, or has explosive behavior, or is a "fire" starter... well then it would be NO. As it turns out this young man is actually pretty "normal". but does seem to hang out with the wrong crowd. this is why he is leaving his previous home, the parents are too strict and won't let him out after dark, and won't let him go to certain friends homes. ( um, duh!!! those are my rules too, and prob worse). Samuel and Andrew immediately said "Yes, mom, how could you say no....... if you have a chance to change someones life, you have to do it". Corey was okay with it, but had to let me know that this kids does like to "hang" on the streets and he sneaks from his other home. And Katie was a NO. this boy is in her class, and although he's not much trouble, he is odd, and she said she'd feel uncomfortable, she did offer to go live with her Dad or grandparents for a few months if we decided. Later Corey told me, that he this boy may have a crush on Katie, which would prob make Katie more uncomfortable.. It in itself isn't a bad thing... actually most of Corey's friend have a"crush" on Katie. but it just wouldn't make things comfortable.

Sometimes i don't want any more, but sometimes I think God would like me to take more.... after these ones are raised of course, And Katie is not like the boys...... she thinks enough is enough..... and for a while I have to respect her thoughts........ but if she's still living here when she's 30..... well tough for her.......... ;0) I guess if I really think about it. 4 teenagers are plenty at one time. But there are sooooooooooo many children in need out there. Corey has been with us for 3+ years now. And the agency told me it is rare that kids in his situation flourish. well we lucked out with a good kid. His grades are improving, he's social, he's happy, he stopped therapy over a year ago. He's affectionate, and loving, he's my boy. oh i forgot to mention annoying and a pain too :0) but what teenage boy isn't.

I am still feeling absolutely terrible, the muscle aches haven't changed much..... and I am so tired. I am coughing more today. I work until about 8pm tonight. Tomorrow the family is coming over for Lasagna dinner. and Sunday I plan on resting resting resting..... the kids and Bill have been great about keeping up with the house and laundry these past few days that i haven't been home...... and if it is NOT perfect, so what. Next week I have several doctor appointments for drew, and I work a few days too. it is hard to believe that Thanksgiving break is right around the corner!!! how time flies the older we get.

Well I am going to get going here, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
make it a good one.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Why can't i just admit that i get sick???

Well looking back on the blog I started with severe muscle pain on October 23rd. and I assumed it was PMS related...... or i think that i am just being a baby, or complaining too much, or i realize that I cannot schedule to get sick until after November 17th as that will be my first days off from work or doctor appointments!!! So for 10 days now, i have been dealing with fatigue and muscle pain. Last night in bed, i couldn't even move my position in bed without much effort and tears... i wish i could explain how every single muscle in my body aches.... i even sit here now at work dreading having to get up and move. My thigh muscles feel like they have arrows piercing them. So this morning, my angel on Earth, had enough, and I was told by Ms. Christina, that if I didn't call to make an appointment, She herself would. If you know this woman, you'd understand........ I called and went to the doctor this morning........ the whole time i am saying it's just hormone levels, and now that "IT" is here, all will be fine. Well Doctor doesn't think it it hormone levels,....
My doctor said that my lungs sound terrible, i am wheezing all over the place. I am running a fever, my blood pressure was 170/110 (pain increases blood pressure) She ordered a Chest Xray and all kinds of blood work. it could be a flair up of the Epstein Barr Virus. she also ordered a Mono screening and some other things. i am supposed to take Motrin around the clock, and use my inhaler frequently!!! So I guess I've actually been sick :( , who'd of guessed??? I am very tired i know that much......I'd love a day to not do a thing, to just lie in bed and let my body rest, So maybe Sunday? maybe Sunday