Monday, December 29, 2008

Early Suprise....sorta....part of it

Well as i was making plans with a dear friend and the kids for New Years, Bill over heard me talking.......and had to tell me a little early. That, well for one, I thought he was working on New Years Day.... here he got the other security guard at the Methadone clinic to work for him...... all that I know is he said that i "might" need an over night bag, we will be in the car for a couple of hours.......and NO kids allowed....... i know nothing else....... Bill has been working 7 days a week since June, minus the time he was so ill with the MRSA. and I am looking forward to spending the time with him.. Now the boys are prob thrilled that I am not going to be here .... Katie is another story......... she doesn't understand why she can't go too........

well Chris and I have walked approx 12 miles since Friday, and planning on walking 4 more tomorrow, ..... Today she got to see "my" little side of the mountain at Conemaugh......and i think she really enjoyed it. I've always thought of Christina, as an "indoor" girl, not sure why......but she loves the outdoors......... and she is the one that is pushing me to walk, gee between her and Johnny, i am not going to have a chance.

well i better get computer was out yesterday for a while and off most of the day today...... my house phone isn't working right...... and i don't have most of my cable channels........... called Comcast from my bro's today....... and someone will be out in the next 72 hours to check the line for the 10th time in less than a month......Yoi, !!!!!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Appalachian Trail~Melody~October

Well first off, I had a very nice relaxing day yesterday. Katie got me bunches of winter "hiking" stuff that will keep me warm and well hydrated...... love them. Kids went into the their Dad's parents house. and Bill and I enjoyed some Seafood Linguine.
Okay I've been thinking a lot about Melody lately, it will be 2 years on Sunday since she last was a physical being on Earth. I haven't forgotten her in the least, and I have been thinking a lot about my promise to her, and have been heading in that direction for some time. You know I think i will be able to finally do the hike in October...... 10 miles, with every mile being in her honor. I have also decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone so to speak, as i've always wanted to hike on the Appalachian Trail out East. so there you have it....... I am going to Pray, Trust God, and start (continue) to work towards that goal......... IT CAN BE DONE. who wants to join me ??? :0). Now i must figure out what part of the trail in Pennsylvania i'd like to do, decisions decisions.......
I am hoping to get a little hike in this morning..... and Katie and I plan on going for lunch this afternoon....... I am planning on having a wonderful day.
maybe i'll get on later .....but for now maybe i'll go take an early morning nap, since i've been up since 4am...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the House,
The bedrooms were too cold even for a mouse.
the cable went out as well as the phone
and who even tried the Internet in this home?

The fire place was warm, and the wood burner too
The kids all questioned what could we do?
Well no TV, no phone, no Internet, No Power.
and it was still too early to go to bed at this hour

So what did little Sammy think of to do on this night?
"we'll play payday using just the Candle light"
So the wind howled and whistled and blew so hard.
we could hear things go bump, as they passed through our yard

there was joking and laughter and quite a commotion
Katie tripping in the darkness put more laughter in motion.
She tripped over her feet, she tripped over our pets
she fell into the tree, landing on the presents

As i sat there all tired, and ready for bed, I had to say
Dear Lord, Thank you for the simplicity of this day
Crying and Complaining and maybe even a pout.
We couldn't change the fact the power went out


Yes this was our day....... we lost cable, Internet, the phone, our heating system........and then for Christmas eve we lost our power...... it was fun, and it was an adventure..... we played and laughed n the candle light, and even as the boys got a little too goofy and carried away too much, and even when i had to yell to settle them down, i got hugs and kisses on the cheek and told what a fun evening it was. Christina. your plate of cookies did not make it to Christmas day...... the kids had too much fun eating them in the dark..... since opening the fridge was off limits for the other snacks.

Happy Birthday Jesus, Thanks for a reminder what's really important in my life. ...... its not electricity, nor phone service , nor cable television or this computer..... it's not having a lot of money or tons of presents under the tree, ....... its having my family and my health, and the ability to not sweat the small stuff, and enjoy the moment and whatever is given to me....

............ Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Laura Ingalls Wilder~~~

that's what i feel like this week, and i must say it is not a bad thing either, first we lost our TV cable, then the phone and the Internet again.... (3 consecutive days) and then wouldn't you know do you remember a couple days ago...... when we hit the coldest day of the year, when the temp was 0 and -20 wind chill? yeah that day! Well our furnace decided to break for good. , i must admit at first i thought gee what an inconvenience...... and then i just relaxed and accepted!!!! what else can i do. how blessed we are to have a fire place up stairs and a wood burner stove down stairs! tons of wood and 3 very strong healthy boys.... the living areas stay warm but the bedrooms are cold....... it brings back childhood memories, i grew up in a bedroom without heat, were we could see our thin cloudy breath... where there was at least an inch of ice on the inside of the window from December until February. I'd climb into an ice cold bed piled high with big old blankets and quilts, i'd shiver underneath the cool sheets and slowly let my body heat the covers.... and drift off to sleep.............ahhh, i didn't even know I was lacking something called Heat!!! So today we got the Cable back, the kids have more layers on, everyone is hanging out in the living room in front of the fire place...... watching tv, eating and drinking hot chocolate......... I am humbled in my thoughts, Thinking about the homeless, and families that can't afford to heat their homes....... and i am blessed.

Christmas is simple this year, and i am thrilled, we didn't go crazy on the kids, and actually they asked for just a couple of things. the kids will go to Albert's parents, Bill and I plan on chilling in front of the fire, watch old Christmas movies, and i am making a light version of Seafood Alfredo over linguine and a nice salad. I'll do Christmas Breakfast for the kids, sausage, french toast, scalloped apples, and blueberry coffee cake... I am so happy and so content,........

I had my meeting with my life coach today, it went great. I lost 6 pounds (2pounds a week x 3 weeks) . so here it is during the holidays....... still losing weight, and actually losing more than my 1 lb. a week. I will have 3 more phone call meetings and then 1 more face to face visit before the first 6 months are up........ Amie said that i have "embraced" the PREP program more than anyone else that she knows........ and i must say that I have, God has really helped me in this journey. and i have an incredible support system in friends and family.....and I owe so much to my bestest friend and work out buddy Christina....... i just know how you are ... and if you see me lose focus, i can just HEAR you tell me now........ How about a walk tomorrow if the weather allows and if you have any time, let me know......
Well i am not sure how long i will be in the communicating world..... so if I can't get back on line......... Have a Merry Christmas, ........ and enjoy who you are and the moment you are in...... God Bless You,

Friday, December 19, 2008

Didn't God Promise............!!!!

Just making sure, that God did promise that he would never destroy the Earth with a flood.... I mean i live on top of a hill....... and even i may start to worry soon. it has rained and rained and rained, Didn't even know there was a creek in front of our house until now as i watch it flood. What a miserable yuk day.
waiting for Christina to come and pick me up to continue cleaning and moving Megan and Mike in.
I am sore, and Johnny is letting us "off" this week cause he said what we are doing is a work out..... i wore my pedometer yesterday and i clocked on 15000 steps. lots of errands in the morning and lots of walking down at Mike and Megan's house....... my muscles are sore, but when i hit the pillow last night.......... i slept so well.
well i'll try to blog more, Chris is here

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Cliff, she does have green eyes.......

Well Cliff the puppy does have green eyes like your sister, ......and just maybe she'd be umm, be happy to have a puppy named after her........but Cliff what would I do if the puppy started acting like Kim,........... i think i'd be in trouble :0).......... i am just sayin'.
Katie liked the names, my favorites were Cupid, Angel, Lucky......... the one name i thought of was Gracie, we also heard of Sidney, Roushlon, Lucy, Buck, Kim, ........... But Katie has decided................ don't ask me why............. but the dog does respond to this name.......... the name for the new puppy is................ is............................. IZZY, yes i said Izzy. Was she a character on the movie Fried Green Tomato's??? I must say that this dog is 100% attached to Katie, follows on her heels no matter where she goes...... cry's when she leaves the house...... I've never seen anything like it.........

I am doing a little better stomach wise, hopefully the protonix is starting to heal whatever is wrong in my tummy.... still not eating much......

Chris' son and daughter in law are getting ready to move into their new home, so we were there cleaning and scrubbing all day yesterday. let me say that we Kicked butt......... and i must say Christina does share her grand daughter with me too, Johnny said doing that was a workout, so he let us off the hook yesterday, thank goodness cause my muscles were crying :0). well i am going to go do something constructive this morning. have a great day

Monday, December 15, 2008

update from the visitor.....see previous post to understand

shhhhhh, update from me the "visitor", Huh i heard them......first they said "do not feed the stray dog"....... well that lasted two hours. and then i kept do NOT let her in the house, absolutely not...... well let me tell you, they didn't bring their comfy chair outside...... that man than lives with them, you know the "tough" man....said i was too young and it was too cold to be outside.... He let me in....... what a family, if my old owner doesn't want me, i think i got lucky...... :0).
I don't have a name yet, at least not from these humans....... can you give them any idea's............ :0)

Visitor at my home.......

let me say that my Internet and phone are still going On and i am at work blogging this morning. So let me explain, Saturday both Bill and Albert saw this really skinny skinny dog along the road about 1/2 a mile from my house. Bill told me it was so thin and looked like it was just abandoned along the road....... fast forward to Saturday night...... my family was over for the evening, after everyone was gone, Katie noticed a very thin dog outside....... I told the kids, "do not feed the stray..... " and i went to bed. so early in the morning i take Juneau out, and as i walked past her dog box i notice these eyes looking at me, ........i just walked back into the house, and hoping the little dog would just leave and go to another home........ do not feed the stray dog!!!. so about 10 minutes later, i go into the kitchen and slide the curtains back from the glass doors..... and this is what I see......... i took a picture! pulled back the curtains so i didn't have to see her.......... she never moved, didn't bark, didn't jump.......just sat there looking in. I called the humane society left a message, called the dog warden, left a message......... called Bill........... do not feed the stray dog!!!! finally went out on my porch to check the dog out a little more closely....... she IS very thin, but it looks like she was well cared for before, you could tell her nails have been clipped, her ears were cleaner than my kids' ears, and although at first she was afraid of me..... she didn't show abnormal fear ( how some dogs are after past abuse)..... i went into the house got a bowl gave her 1/2 cup of dog food with a scrambled egg in it..... i went and fed her, and i cried........... she was so hungry....... so hungry, not knowing how long she's been without food, i fed her a little bit every two hours x 4 times .... she did NOT bloat up ....... her eyes are clear, her teeth are spotless white, she is young, i am guessing 9mth, to 1 year. Surely she belongs to somebody....... Katie has fallen absolutely in love with her, she is very sweet, very gentle, and just loves everyone.. There is something about her though i must say.......... Come on Jeanine, Murray would love a buddy..... she is so sweet, . She doesn't appear dominant either as she becomes passive around my dogs.
She wants in the house so bad.........which is a NO, now if we can stick to that...... just so you know, my Bill is such a softy, every time i looked out on the porch yesterday He was out there..... so much for do not feed the dog!!! I am thinking other than malnutrition, her condition indicates she was well taken care of before. so maybe someone is missing her, I will again call the Shelter to see if anyone is inquiring on a missing dog. I spoke with the dog catcher, she said that we can't just keep her, it is against the law, that we must see if someone lost her, by law any stray dog must get spayed or neutered so she will give us a few days to try and find her home. if she does go to the animal shelter, we can let them know we would consider taking her if she ends up on the "put to sleep" list...... oh we will see........
my belly is back to bloating any time i eat even a little, and I am hardly eating much right now. But i am on Protonix and Carafate...... so hopefully it will start to work soon. I am so excited that Deer hunting season is over, cause i miss my walking, I am not going to wait until "after" the holidays or the first of the year to .....start up again, i just want to continue with what I am doing. .... well i am going to try and eat something, we will see what happens......

Saturday, December 13, 2008

No internet, No phone.... on leave......

Just a brief posting...... first and foremost, absolutely beautiful here.... i have a picture, when i download it I will post it. the snow is thick, heavy and sticky.......clinging to everything.
I have not had land line (home) phone or the Internet on and off for 3 days. just came back on about 2 hours ago.
The kids and i just decorated the tree, doing a good house cleaning.... and making stuffed shells and ham.
Not able to eat much right now, even if I eat a little my tummy bloats up so bad...... the doctor isn't positive if the Duodenal Ulcer (from April) has "erupted" again or not, but she could tell my stomach is inflamed. i am to take protonix twice a day for a month..... and try to eliminate stressful situations..... she knows about the stress i am having on the job. therefore she put me on medical leave. so I get re-evaluated in a month. I am assuming she can do that!!! I mean what can the company do... i have an incredible history of stomach trouble and i have been under a doctors care for over a year.....
My doctor offered to give me something for my nerves......... just temporary and I told her No, that i will deal with this situation as best as i can, and if a medical leave does keep me from work, i should be fine.
well i gotta go, tons to do.
love to all,

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Stressed to say the least..........

i haven't blogged about this as of yet, and i've been dealing with something for sometime, and i am at the point where I can't stand it .....grrrrrr.....
Its about my second job at the Methadone clinic, which i truly loved doing soooooo much. tell me how strange this is........ the Clinical Supervisor, The Nurse Manager, and the Physician all are leaving with in the same time frame. sadly i haven't been trained in all areas, and actually i got a good 25% of it worked out , I and the only other nurse are still pretty much in training, of course i am the newest dosing nurse, and still rely on calling my nurse manager for things...........(I've been told when this happens call the nurse manager, if this goes wrong call the nurse manager.....there are signs all over the dosing room for all the nurses to Call the nurse manager) well her last day was December 9th, the Clinical supervisor's last day was December 6th. When i found out that ALL of my superiors were leaving in December, i too put in a letter of resignation not out malice, but I just said until a new manager is hired and trained, I'd need to step back, at this point i did not feel save swimming without the "life jacket" so to speak. I obviously cannot and will not get into everything on a blog...... but trust me when i say there IS a lot going on right now that is shooting radar warning signs directly through my heart... Methadone is nothing to work casually with, it can and does kill people, we have young pregnant girls who's lives and babies lives are in our hands, a too small dose or too large dose could have dire consequences. let me just say the Nursing license that I've had for 20 years is in jeopardy. .......... Well let me tell you this, the first words out of corporate too me is........if you leave before the end of the year we CAN sue you......... what the heck!!!! i don't think they can........ and don't think they will. and i am angry that they don't care that i am back there on my own........ this has been going on two weeks, and i am a mess.... i am so stressed right now, that my stomach is in knots, i vomited once yesterday........ not able to eat........ i know i had the ulcer in April, and I know that i can't get another one or let this one get irritated again, cause that could keep me from any type of abdominal surgery for a while, not just that, Stress wrecks havoc with your immune system, and i am going to end up getting sick if i don't get a grip on this, i am going to the doctors tomorrow to see if he can put me back on protonix at least for a few months. I wish i could explain more, but i just can't. but know this, these Clients have touched my heart, and i am going to miss them. they are what made this job so awesome. Why would God put me in a place but to stay just a couple of months....... i don't know, but God has a time and season for everything He does.......and I continue to trust in His direction for me. who knows, there will be a new place opening up in Indiana next year (at least that was the plan) just maybe...... i just know in my heart that i am supposed to get out of there, and fast. I have 6 more working days between now and December 27th, my last day..... If there is something i am not comfortable with, i will not do it..

Monday, December 08, 2008

7 years ago today

7 years ago today I was sitting in Lydia's sisters home getting my hair done. Bill had the boys with him, going to breakfast with his best man Gary. Bill and I were getting married. I wish I could tell you what Katie was doing, but i haven't a clue...... she was 12 and this was hardest for her. Andrew was 10 and Sammy was 6 (soon to be 7) The kids were 9,7, and 4 when Albert (daddy) left. there were many ups and downs..... and i can't even imagine what the kids felt. All that they knew, all of their safety, seemed to be pulled out from under them. As many of you know Bill and I did Not date long.. and many know the story about "God" telling me that i was going to meet and marry this man., i was actually dating someone else, and it wasn't Bill. But i kept having this nagging thought that i was to meet someone else,...... of course like usual, i argued with God, even ignored God. But I knew he was at my brothers church, and one day in April I walked into the church, turned to my sister in Law, and said..........there that man in the second row, I am supposed to marry him!!! She just looked at me and said well he is single, and she just laughed about the "i am going to marry him part". Well my friends got tired of hearing this for months on end, so finally...... in September one of my friends called me to give me Bill's number that she looked up....... although i do remember her telling me over and over again.... "don't tell him you are going to marry him,... don't tell him". well to make a long story short. I did call on Sept 14, Our first date was September 17, we were engaged November 1, and Married on December 8. ................. so back to the kids............... they didn't know Bill long, so i am sure that was a scary time for them......... fast forward seven years............... who would have even Imagined how well this would turn out. I adore Bill (most of the time) but sometimes the kids tell me they like him more than they like me :0)! Bill has dedicated his life to me and the kids, the kids come first and always have. My kids have never once said "you aren't my dad". they see how Bill and their father get along.......... it as a rule has all been good.

I have fun will Bill, and i enjoy being with him. Yes there are days that i would like to, how did i say it Kim?, his eyes shut. the second year was a tough year.... but it seems the older we get.. the more comfortable we are with each other. I think i'll keep him for another year.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Oh my, Oh my, Oh my!!!!......

There is NEVER a dull moment when Chris and I are in the same room. and that is just a fact. We had our work out at Johnny's today, and i think both of us were tired, and just slightly melancholy, which is okay too.. until, until we get to the gym.... John doesn't mess around, so we get right into it... so you gotta picture this........ Johnny tells me to get on the this one bench to start abd. crunches, and then He tells Christina ..... it goes like this

Johnny: Chris, I want you to do lunging squats just using your body weight.

( Chris starts walking to another room)

Johnny: Chris, where are you going?

Christina: I am going to get my body weight..........

(*what the heck......)

once that came out of Christina's mouth she immediately realized what she said, she only half heard John, and she thought she was going to get a couple hand weights........... John lost it....... he started to tell the other trainer what she said..... John said that will be a story to tell for months....... I laughed so hard that I peed myself ever so slightly........ Most people carry their body weight with them, no not Chris........ she must put hers on the shelf.........
I am really starting to see changes again in my body...... my clothes are fitting better, i wake up and notice my muscles.... i feel stronger, feel healthier, oh and the scale at Pittsburgh says i gained 2 lbs or almost 2, first weight increase since February. I hit my first plateau, but I am not too worried, Johnny mentioned today he could really see a difference. he also feels i need to increase my calories on weight training days.. just a little, and make it lean protein, my life coach also agreed to have me try this.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

My Dream Bike..... a Cannondale

I remember years ago, almost 10 years ago not long after i started to heal after My X husband left, I decided to get a mountain bike for the trails, .....I fell in love with the Cannondale bikes... so I went to the local bike shop, and picked out my bike...... they kept the bike for me and I payed a little each pay...... and i did this for a while....... oh how i loved that bike...... and oh how i loved to ride that bike.......... slowly but surely I started to put the weight back on, stopped riding, kept the bike in my house.......... my brother borrowed it almost 2 years ago...... and in all honesty he won't exactly tell me what happened to it...... I think it got stolen, ........well regardless, i don't think he has it, I've asked... never got a straight answer... Oh well, it is but a bike, nothing material in my life matters as much as my loved ones.
Early this summer, while working with my Life coach, i decided to work towards a goal, I didn't want to work to be a certain size, or a certain weight, ....... so I needed to figure out a reward in smaller obtainable measurements, it couldn't be food, not into spa's, not into manicures or pedicures (hi Patti), didn't want to waste much money on clothes that i will prob only wear for a while before i go down a size.......... SO, i came up with the Idea that for every 10lbs, for every week that i do my journal without skipping parts....... etc........ I'd put a certain amount of money into my bike account........ The GREEN bike is my dream bike it also cost about 500.00$ more than the other bike. BUT it cost about 1000.00 dollars less than someone that smokes a pack and 1/2 of cigarettes a day in a years time........ This Bike is an obtainable goal for me......
the reason i like to bike is because i can experience more of the trails on bike than i can realistically on foot........ and heaven knows i love my outdoors. and i must admit, didn't think Christina would, but she sure loves those trails too....... and here i thought she was the "indoor type of girl".
Speaking of indoors, today we did a walking tape at Chris' house, and I think we switched roles today...... she kept trying to get out of it.......and i kept pushing her to get going, she'd say "I'm not going to do those moves, I'll just march in place"....... or "well i think i can be done now"........ well NOT!!! lol.
We go to Johnny's to work out tomorrow....... Hey Chris i just thought of something,........ we could do a hike on Sunday since hunting isn't allowed on Sundays............right???

Monday, December 01, 2008


that is the one word to describe how i felt after Sat. hike with Kimmie and Christina. but let me back up here.......... Friday was our second annual day after Thanksgiving breakfast with Christina and her family....... Katie and I went and Bill, the boys got a new video game which is way more important than hanging out with a bunch of "women" minus Bill, Chris(Jeanine's husband) and Michael. But i must say the "boys" didn't hang the whole time.........they ate! and visited here and there. What a great time........ so much laughter, that's what its like 90% of the time when i am with Christina. and her daughter Jeanine and Megan and my Katie, are so AWESOME........ i love those girls!!!! The Sad news on Friday was that Johnny wanted to see Us, saying something like the day after Thanksgiving is NOT a holiday. we had missed a week prior, although he did tell us we needed to do it at home on those days...... opps, didn't' listen. Jeanine went with Us too, I am so proud of my brother, and i love him to pieces, (all of my brothers) that i love sharing him. and he is so sweet and SO good at what he does........... any how i will honestly say that for some reason it was the hardest work out to date. I had a tough time catching my breath, and he did really well fitting Jeanine in and making her work a little harder than than Christina and I. *Jeanine is in great shape, young and beautiful.
I also must say we got Yelled at kinda sorta by Johnny. he said we "BETTER" get a workout in at home (resistance training) .... before returning to the gym, which will be Weds. cause i work Tues evening

It was Great seeing Kimmie again, we had a nice relaxing time, ( thank you Kim's mom and dad for sharing her) So shortly after she arrived we went and picked up Christina for a little hike...... so i go park at one of the trail heads where you can go left or right... I told them that if we went on Trail A, that it is a gradual down hill to begin with, with a steep hill involved. and Trail B, has one hill going, but coming back it was a down hill slope, ........ what was I smoking?, I was on the trail before, but i totally forgot........ it seemed there were no level parts of the trail, it was a constant up hill, down hill ....... a good mile of the trail was no more than a deer path through the woods, the trail did come close to a cliff area, and there wasn't a fence to stop us from rolling into the river either. Kim's mom, will you still let her come out and play with me ? if i promise not to take her near the cliff again??? Okay now seriously and I am not exaggerating much..... when we got back, my leg, thigh and butt muscles hurt so bad, not like an injury, but like muscles that have been over used. it hurt to sit my hinnie on the commode even, it hurt to stand from a sitting position, it hurt to sit from a standing position.. needless to say Sunday was going to be a day off. I didn't want to actually injure a muscle after I've gotten this far......
today I plan to go to Christina's to do a resistance training work out, and we will have to do two days of Leslie Sansone for walking cause we can't go out in the woods in Western Pa........... two weeks of this...... Make it a good one folks......... love and blessings to all