Monday, April 30, 2007

The final Piece......

yes i hiked the final piece to the hiking trail that goes from Saltsburg to Blairsville. it was my first hike on it........ and Kim I must tell you......if you thought the other trail had hills.......... well this one was nothing but up and down, and then up and down again..... very few stretches were level. Bill and I hiked approx 4 miles, although because of all the hills, it felt so much farther!!! I got a new pedometer today, and it worked pretty well... also got new hiking shoes, lightweight Merrells. they felt pretty good.........although WE all know not to wear brand new shoes hiking 4 miles the day you get them.......... opps. i am sore, i am tired, i am happy. Oh yeah....... i did NOT hike on Sunday..... and i think it was a smart decision.... i did Curves and Hiked on Saturday, and my foot that had the surgery really needed a day of rest..... and i realized that. My eating is not under control......... oh another hurdle to cross.

oh yeah, we saw deer, and turkey, and the bald eagle, and squirrels, and chipmunks...no black bear today.

love and blessings to everyone

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Dear Anonymous, Jesus said.......

Dear Anonymous, Just wanted to let you know that i told Jesus "hi" for you and His reply was.... to tell you that He says hello too, and that He loves you very very much!!!

It was a beautiful day for a hike........ Kim went very willingly.... and she did great. we are hoping to do this again soon..... even longer. I think we hiked 4 miles yesterday. Kim is so comfortable...... she could just stop in anytime..... It is funny we have said for almost 4 years........ "we are going to have to get together and go for a little hike." wow it actually happened. It rained a good bit, and we saw several deer cross our paths, and we talked so much we hardly noticed we were hiking.......until 1/2 mile before we get back to the car, it's like in the middle of the hike my body says......."okay I am done" and Kim is correct in saying there are steep hills....

Today Bill and I are going for another little hike......and we are going to take both dogs we think. the big young strapping malamute, and the old lab/collie mix, Hmmmm, i think i will go Sadie's pace...... and Bill and Juneau can walk on ahead of Us. First i am going to a Tea at Judy's church but plan on leaving at 5pm whether it is done or not.

Monday Morning I have Foster parenting class.... but I think my afternoon has nothing scheduled, nah, that can't be. I am sure i have something scheduled. BUT i still feel i may get another hike in.

I think i call My 'walks' hikes because the ground can be uneven, there are a lot of steep hills and dips. it's out in the woods on trails, and for the longer ones i carry a backpack. So i guess that does qualify it for a "Hike"

Have a good day everyone.....

Saturday, April 28, 2007

I am so confused.......what a dilemma

not sure what to do...... you see, I've been watching this cute little spider movie called Charlotte's Web, and then the other night i watched a movie called Arachnophobia, an older movie about a killer spider from Africa, who has babies with a common house spider, and they terrorize a small community. So NOW what do I do when i find a spider in my house???? Do I kill it? Do i capture it and let it free outside? do i smash it? or do I wave at it?? I should have not watched Arachnophobia.... i know i shouldn't have. At least I now know not to watch the old 1960's Alfred Hitchcock thriller "the Birds" or i may never venture out in my woods again :0)
Went to Curves this morning.......and when Kim gets here I'd like to go for a hike with Her and Juneau and my mace. It's going to be a busy day, but truly i am just taking it as it comes.....not getting too crazy about anything..
To all, have a nice weekend....... and try to not stress about things out of your control

Friday, April 27, 2007

T.G.I.F.

Well here i am at work again...but after today, have 4 days off.......yeah...... although I enjoy being here.........enjoy the kids on campus....... it still takes me away from home. And i need to catch up with housework and errands that i can't do while I am here at work. So a few days off will do me good.
Had no time to exercise today... I may make this my day off. Tomorrow morning is Curves and then Kim comes in the early afternoon, so we are planning on taking a nice hike.... and then Sunday Bill and I will prob hike in the evening also.
I am looking to get a new Pedometer this weekend hopefully I need to remember to move more when i am not doing my 1hr workout....... it seems in my little head, i think hey i did Curves this morning.....so it won't hurt to sit on my butt all day........ obviously that's not a good way of seeing things.... wow i sure have a long way to go :0) I am finding that for me it's harder and harder to commit to the workout tapes...... i want to be outside walking now.... I just hope my foot can handle it.... it's such a catch 22 situation. I need to walk more to take off this extra weight so that there is less stress on my feet. but the more i walk, the more my feet hurt because i am carrying too much excess weight!!!! how can a girl win???
Katie is not feeling well today.......she is so pale, so tired, and has such a headache....... what am i going to do with that girl? it's starting to work like clock work now... the week she takes the "placebo hormone" is the week that she feels the worse..... so i am sure it's all "female cycle" related. Oh the joys of being a woman... I wouldn't change it in a million years.
Hey Chris, at what time should i pick you up for Curves tomorrow??

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Just when you think that you are giving it all you got....

....You realize, that you can work a little harder. Kim, our Curves trainer returned from a week long class in Texas, discussing how The Curves program works.... a few different movements on the machines and let me tell you..... I moved my level up a notch.... i noticed though that last week........ my heart rate stayed steady at 22, today my heart rate stayed steady at 26... i worked super hard on the machines, and then tried to recover on the recovery boards... I sweated more today than any other workout........ Kim was on my butt the whole time...... well when she wasn't on Christina's butt!! I signed up for the weight loss/healthy eating classes they start mid May. I am looking forward to that......But ......that didn't mean that I should have come home and have 7 cheese sticks with my daughter..... and a bite of this, and a bite of that...... why do i sabotage my hard physical work......i am hoping to hike tomorrow or go for a walk at some point of the day.......

One of these days................

yup that's what Christina and I've been saying about visiting a friend with Chinese food!!! We will say...... we should, sometime soon, one of these day's, we are gonna have ta,........ We have been saying this for about 3 months now. So yesterday as i was at Chris' house to do our workout tape..... we said it again, " we should get Chinese for Debbie and visit soon" ....... then Chris looked at me and said....... "what ya doing now?" I guess i had lots of house work to catch up on, errands to run, and a to do list a mile long. Chris had paperwork and books to do for her business, and a to do list a mile long. But we've said this for a long time........ and that "one of these day's never comes" So we cut our work out short, shhhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone. I went home got showered etc... and WE did go to Deb's. we surprised her with Chinese food. She was so excited.... and we had such a great time.... Debbie is a wonderful woman, who had many bad times hit her.....but she always has the time to make people smile. We had a great visit. Great food, Much Laughter, and Lots of love. I couldn't of thought of a better way to spend one of my days. So I guess we shouldn't say "one of these day's" more than twice before we actually schedule a time to do it. Life changes so fast, and there are no guarantees in life for anyone. So today if there is someone on your mind, or if you keep meaning to "drop that person a note" or stop and visit that person. Do it today..............because who knows, tomorrow may never come.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

YESTERDAY........TODAY...........TOMORROW

I CAN'T CHANGE MY PAST, SO I WON'T DWELL ON IT, AND I CAN'T KNOW WHAT MY FUTURE HOLDS... SO I WON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. BUT, TODAY THIS MOMENT I AM ALIVE.. AND FOR THIS I WILL REJOICE .. (my signature quote on another website)

Sometimes i sit here and think......what in the heck did i do to get my body in this shape? or i think, if i would have just stuck to that last diet... I'd already be at my goal weight and optimum health. And then I'll get to thinking....... wow it's going to be forever before i can get to the size that i want and am comfortable with. And what if my second pap smear comes back with problems? What if I injure my foot again? what if ? what if ?. It takes me a moment to realize that it doesn't matter....... no matter how much i wish i would have done the right things for my body, I can't go back in time...... i can't change that now...... and no matter how much i wish i can be at my goal now...... it ain't gonna happen, so why get depressed.... BUT I have Today!!! and today means...... that i woke up, and I am breathing, my heart is beating, I went to curves and exercised today. I hugged my kids and told them i loved them. I got to spend a quality 68 minutes with my bestest friend, even though 30 minutes was spent exercising. So for Today i will Rejoice. The weather is warm, the trees are budding and the flowers are blooming So for Today i will rejoice. I got a beautiful spring flower bouquet sent to me at work today, that made me smile lots..... so for today i will Rejoice. (i am going to really have to earn the Not secretary position now) My tooth is actually feeling a little better than yesterday So for today I will rejoice. I walk on my two legs, I use my arms, My children are touchable, and my Husband loves me.....so for today I will rejoice....................................

I guess this world is so messed up right now.......... and I guess it's hard not to worry about our future, our safety, financial stability, Our country, war, disease, sickness, death..... I guess this is where I've got to put faith in my Faith, and trust that God is Truly in Control. And trust that the Future will take care of itself. there is so much goodness in the world.....it just doesn't reach the 6 0'clock news... this world is filled with amazing people...... and I am honored and blessed to know so many of them......... for this i will rejoice.

Tomorrow I'd like to get outdoors........ i may do a tape with Christina..... and then i may also go for a walk on the trail too. Sammy has a baseball game....... Corey has a track meet....... and i don't think I work ........ tomorrow's already looking promising.......... ;0)

Monday, April 23, 2007

today........not as good as yesterday

So i had this great day yesterday...should i have kept it quiet though....... it seems.... sometimes life just sends those little digs in to help prevent too much happiness... maybe it's just humanity...... first i want to say last night although tired, my body recovered rather quickly from my 5 mile hike, ..... woke up this morning, and other than minor tooth pain.....and a little stiffness, i felt good, I must say my foot although achy last night.....feels fine today. Well i go to the dentist this am (8am) I took Sammy's slot. he took the old filling out of the tooth, and put some type of analgesic filling in it's place....... two hours after the Novocaine wore off, i felt immediate pain that radiates from the tooth up into my temple area and Left ear. , 10 hours later and i have a lump on the side of my face, and If i thought the pain was bad last week...... well, I lied..... because right now it's almost unbearable I am running a very low grade fever 99.4-100.5, and i can't touch the outside of my cheek at all... having a VERY difficult time eating....... i guess i am going to have to start doing protein shakes if i don't eat anything of substance soon...... Starvation mode is the worse thing to do when you are trying to re calibrate your metabolism. When i called the doctor this afternoon...... he said to give it a couple of day's...... and then we will talk about a root canal or pulling the tooth.. it's the tooth upper jaw, furthest back in my mouth......and actually if i remember correctly, never had my wisdom teeth pulled out..it may be one of those...... they said that if the tooth is cracked, that a root canal won't work ...... so at this point, I am about ready to have this dang tooth pulled out. it's not noticeable, well it's not noticeable unless i am hanging some where by my feet, and smiling, and you walk by... then you just might notice.

I am here at work, campus is pretty much empty It's a 4 day weekend, so class doesn't resume until weds. so just a few who live over seas are here. so i am Not busy at all today... and I can't wait to go home and put down my head..... my left side of my head is about killen me !!! But Chris, i am still going to Curves tomorrow...... early as possible if that works for you.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

melody...... i am Half way there :0)

Melody,
Just thought you should know.... today I hiked 5 miles. I'm half way there to that 10 mile hike. it hasn't even been three months yet..... it's hard to believe on February 1st, my first day at Curves... and the beginning of my Journey/Quest in honor of you (melody's mile). I could barely move from exercise to exercise at Curves..... i remember my heart rate jumping to 180+ beats a minute just from minimal exercise... i remember breathing so hard, and not being able to catch my breath.... i remember the next exercise at Christina's, barely being able to walk in front of the TV a mile....... and there i was today....... walking 5 miles.... and i might add there were some steep hills too...... never went this path before. so i kept going to my hubby.......... lets just get up to that bend, and then we will turn back....... and i kept doing this..... the trail was beautiful..... lots of streams and ponds and wooden bridges, and cool tunnels and gentle rivers... The woods are on the Verge of waking up from winters rest....... almost!!! I was feeling good, walking at a steady pace...... not too fast yet. so we were walking about an hour.......and it suddenly hit me....... hey this isn't a loop......... this is a 9 mile trail........ and unless my car magically moved to one of the trail head parking lots........ i must turn around and go back.... so i must say the return back to my car..... seemed soooooooooo much longer........ i am not going to lie, my body hurts, my feet hurt...........not bad, and not in the same area before surgery.... but none the less, they hurt. I am stiff now, every inch of my body is telling me " "what in the H*** did you do this for?"
I had a wonderful time at Church today........ Katie was an angel, I thanked God today for giving me "normal boob" results.... I walked today..... I walked a lot today..... i am happy~~ i am thankful ~~ i am blessed~~
hey i just realized at the mall today after church, i took the steps at one point... it was quite easy actually, didn't even get winded and it was a flight of steps -a landing -and another flight of steps......
Chris let me know what your plans are......i go to the dentist tomorrow morning... teeth still hurt, but i find that Motrin works much better than the "other" pain medicine that made me fuzzy.

I think i just about love everyone today.
have a good day

Saturday, April 21, 2007

for those who think there is nothing normal about me.....

And i truly understand why you might think that........ But i must tell you.... i just received this in the mail 15 minutes ago....... Christina saw it first (after bill and I)

Dear Sandra Marie,
We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent mammography examination are .................... NORMAL!!!


Yeah, i am so excited, and very happy...... i realize even today.... some where there is another woman finding out that her test results were abnormal, and right now there are others finding out they have breast cancer. Although i am happy, i am humbled to the fact that Each of Us, are just a phone call away from a life changing experience. I take this moment to rejoice, and thank God I still have time to change my course in life........by eating healthy, exercising, loosing weight, getting my annual mammograms, getting my pap smear more than every decade, praying more and resting more :)!!!

Today i spent all day in classes........ CPR training, First Aid training, and Crisis management training...... i am tired........... but glad i got these hours in (as foster parents we need about 18 hours yearly of information classes..... i think we have 4 more hours to go.

They asked me to work at Kiski this evening......... from 7p to about 11p So i am hoping to get a walk in....if not, tomorrow Bill and I are definitely going hiking... after church of course....... what a beautiful day today....

Think of One positive thing in your life.........and give thanks today

I love you all

Friday, April 20, 2007

if i am doing everything right.........how come

If i am doing everything right, .......then how come I feel like crap??? I haven't felt well since my dental appointment two weeks ago. last night the tooth pain was so bad, that it kept me up all night......... i don't feel like eating, actually i dread eating right now. I did call the dentist first thing this morning....... i didn't hear back, so i guess i am just going to take Sammy's appt on Monday morning at 8am....... last night i took something for the pain.....and right now my head feels "fuzzy" and um,, Chris and Patti, i mean "fuzzier than normal". Now the tooth is on the upper left side, last tooth back, funny it didn't hurt when it was just a cavity......but i am almost positive that it cracked when he filled it. but the pain radiates from my jaw line up into my head and left ear... can this chronic pain cause headache, fever, chills.....nausea......and general malaise??? So i am exercising regularly, doing all the doctor appointment things..... eating healthy, drinking water, taking my vitamins.. going to bed early. I am keeping my life relatively stress free ( as well as one can with a husband, job, and 4 children)...... and i feel like this today.........go figure!!!


BUT, on the upside, i did go to Curves today, and worked out pretty hard. yeah so i was a little dizzy, and yeah it was my turn to drive, and yeah, Chris was a little nervous with my driving.........but i DID go!!!


It's beautiful outside, and looks like it's going to be this way for a while....so it's time that I start walking outdoors.... looking forward to it. Tomorrow i have classes to keep our foster parenting license up to date......but i am killing two birds with one stone...... tomorrows class is CPR and First Aid training... which i need for my job up at Kiski Prep. so this is a good thing... already my next week looks busy....... working 3 days, 3 track meets, and 2 baseball games. Curves 3 days and other form of exercise 3 days.... and I'd like to throw Church in there too.... who ever said the quote the "lazy days of Summer" was from another era :)
Chris how did you like your rub today??? are you rejuvenated?? Gonna miss you this weekend. I have a feeling you are going to be busy.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Blah Blah Blah

That is sorta how i feel today..... by no means sick, but not too perky either. I am having one of those days...where it would be so easy to just give up the exercise and healthy eating. give up the doctors appointments, and test, and all that.... umm, yeah right..........like i even have an option. I guess if i were gung ho 100% of the time, then that isn't reality.......and i am all about reality right now..... So I'll take these "melancholy" days..... pout for a moment or two....and then get my butt to Curves....or what ever workout i am doing for the day...... which by the way is what i did today. Thanks Christina for the extra push. Um, Chris is having an off day today also... maybe we are allergic to each other. She got home from Curves..... she has a cup that she puts her keys in........and a garbage can........for well, her garbage...... she gets home, proceeds to throw her keys in the garbage, and put her old chewed gum in the cup!!! I am so glad that I am not that absent minded.... LOL okay maybe i can be at times.

I haven't heard about my mammogram results yet.......PS Gina, can you tell your mom to find out tomorrow if they are there?? And i guess no news is good news.......... but i just have a feeling i am going to need a repeat. (p.s Gina's mom is a receptionist at my doctors office, and she is the nicest receptionist around :0) ) So IF she is at the office tomorrow......i am sure she'll let me know.

In a few weeks i am going to start walking on the weekends.......and Gina I'd love to have the company......... my other friend.... she's going to get really busy on weekends soon....... or so she tells me..... ( luggage Christina, luggage).

Tomorrow is a long day at work......... today i am done in a few hours.....hey, it's almost 6 and i haven't even eaten yet....... gee what gives......not good.........

Monday, April 16, 2007

waiting....... and then what

it's Monday...... i did Curves today, and my body could tell that i took it easy last week... Worked hard, my muscles are feeling it right now, It's time that i start outside again...... regardless of the weather, i mean rain/snow never stopped me before, so why am i being a sissy. maybe i am actually afraid to find out that my foot isn't as great as i thought......but slow and steady should be the key. tomorrow an exercise tape at Christina's. speaking of which....... I think we may have to "break up" as she says it. she is definitely starting to mix up words like me now...... do you know that years ago, she used to get really bad MP3's . So you are prob wondering what in the heck she's talking about...... Me too!!! I guess she meant to say she had PMS really bad. I mean where does she get MP3 at ??? Oh well one of us has to be the adult, i guess it's me this week :)

So i am now finding out that the Mammogram was the easy thing. It's the waiting that is difficult. yeah chances are still in my favor that everything is going to be okay.... but for those that have experienced Cancer.... we all started at this point........ waiting for the phone call. sure in most cases, the call comes and it's all okay. But for some, it's the phone call that changes ones life and direction in life forever. I again am reminded how truly fragile out lives are, and that ultimately God IS in control. and worrying is not going to change the results one way or the other. So I'll of course let you know when i get my boob results back.

I am recovering from a "strained" Sunday afternoon.... i am really trying to keep my life stress free, or at least dealing with stress (both good and bad stress ) in a productive manor. But it was world war III between Bill and Katie....... and i felt like the referee..... it was all about trying a different church. and Katie, when she's thinking something, just blurts it out, and always has to have the last word..... and Bill, just won't let things go when something bothers him.... All Katie had to do is keep quiet, try the church..........and that was it. if she didn't like it, we would talk about her going back to Clarksburg, or go with her Grandma. She wouldn't have to go again. Bill and the Boys love the contemporary services that use drums and guitars and play Contemporary Christian music. Katie likes the traditional services that Clarksburg and Saltsburg Presbyterian Churches have to offer. I like both...... and i feel they both have things to offer. Katie is a really good girl, and i love her to death, but let me tell you......she has been stubborn since the day she was born. yeah it's good that she is her own person..... but sometimes. And Bill, what can i say about him..... sometimes he needs to let off steam..........but then he needs to say what he must and then just let it go.... Oh well........ it's over....... Katie has to go with us on Sunday to the same church..... not say a word....... and Bill cannot bring this incident up again. lets see what happens........

Friday, April 13, 2007

First Mammogram -------- Second Weigh/Measure at Curves

now the mammogram had nothing to do with my Curves "measuring" day. and my Curves measuring day had nothing to do with my mammogram. but these are the two things that has happened lately.

first of all, this is nothing short of a miracle , This Melody's Mile Quest, I've continued to exercise, I've had my first "pap" test in 10 years, and I've had my first mammogram before my 40th birthday. Wow i do NOTHING for 10 years.... and then get it all done in two months.

I am recovering from the Stomach Virus that i must of had, it was a nasty one......and it sure wore me out. I spent all day just chilling on Wednesday. even with a house full of guest. by evening on Weds i was able to catch up on my fluids. But even today my body still feels weak. I did not work out on Thursday...... again like I've said before, this has to be a "healthy" obsession, and i knew my body was too weak to workout. I did manage to make my 12 hour spaghetti sauce, and enjoy my family who came to visit. and I DID go to have my very first mammogram. honestly, i wasn't too worried about the actual exam... and let me tell you, they really really squish those things.......i mean they don't even look like boobs in the machine....... not only do they squish them up and down........ you'd think that would be enough........No they have to squish them side to side too........ I was worried that they would never go back to the pre-mammogram shape, i thought I'd have to sling them over my shoulders just to walk out ... BUT of course they did return to my version, not Pamela Anderson version, of Normal!!! the test was the easy part,........ honestly, i just know i am going to need a retake, and i am nervous about the results......again, i have no control of the outcome......therefore i must try and relax until Monday or Tuesday.

I did go to Curves today...... and my body "knew" that it has missed a few days of workout.... so i did get tired quicker than normal, but i did workout, and plan on going tomorrow morning to get my 3 in. Today i measured up...... i lost like so far a total of 6lbs, almost 3lbs of body fat and almost 10 inches. i think that is pretty darn good........ esp since this is strictly based on exercising alone....... In a few weeks when our new owner returns from "curves class" yes there is curves class in Texas for new owners....... i am going to join the 6 week eating plan jump start. with meetings and all. that will be good for me and help me in my next level

Well it's about time for me to get busy here at work.......it's Friday, so NO boys yet. it's funny, they are usually sick Monday through Thurs during school hours, and miraculously healed on Friday afternoon..... until the next Monday again..... kids they are all universal.........no matter where you are

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Sick with the "flu"

oh my, haven't felt this way in a long time. started to not feel good yesterday morning, could barely workout at Christina's......... and i mean barely. felt nauseous and had a head ache all day. 5pm, hit me like a ton of bricks ... started vomiting and diarrhea did this all night, stopped vomiting at 3am but diarrhea is still here......just goes a couple hours in between episodes now. My body doesn't quite feel like a mack truck hit it, but almost!!! Of course i didn't go to Curves today...... prob will go there Friday and Saturday to get my 3 in. Not eating, but am managing to drink (thanks for the ginger ale Christina)

Oh yeah, Have to go back in 4 months for another pap test (Aug 9th) I had Atypical squamous cells of unknown origin, that need "watched" I got nervous....... Christina got me to relax a little, i guess a lot of woman get these abnormal results.....and hey can't be that worried if i go back in 4 months. Besides this is beyond my control, so whatever will be.... will be.

well i am very tired and a little weak.........so i am going to lie down for a little bit. Oh yeah.....go for my First mammogram tomorrow........ this being healthy stuff sure keeps my schedule busy..

love and blessing to my friends.

PS hi Gina, ready for that walk soon :0)

Monday, April 09, 2007

What's the Address to Heaven???

wouldn't it be nice if Heaven had an address.... I'd love to send messages to my mom and dad. and what would i write to a person i didn't even meet on Earth???


Dear Melody,
How was your Easter in Heaven? I am sure your family misses you down here something terrible. But i am sure they also know how truly special that you are, and that you continue to live and love even from Heaven. My parents and "little sister" are up there too..... you've gotta look them up sometime.... Patti, Sam and my sister Maryanne. Do me a favor, and give them a hug from me. I know Heaven exists without a doubt, and I can only imagine how beautiful it is. I wish i would have known you here on Earth, but that wasn't the plan.... I wish i could tell you in person how i appreciate how much you've encouraged me to be a better person, But for now i am going to have to rely on Jesus to give you these messages from me. I guess 3+ months ago when i read about your journey, And i said your story was a life changing experience, even I didn't totally grasp what that meant.... You really are an ANGEL, that's the only way i can explain it. Chad drops me a quick line every several weeks. I do not know him, but you two must of really been a pair. I can't even begin to imagine the void he must feel without you.....and i pray for him and your family often. I just assume, knowing you, means that they Will be okay. .. giving up on life, and smiles, and hope..........would mean giving up on you, being that you were all those things... I am doing really well, I've got a bracelet made in your honor to remind me to keep on this quest to better health... And somehow, i am sticking with it......and in my heart i already know that i have succeeded. I speak to people who go to Chads parents church........and they told me that what i read in your journal......was who you really were. Chad shared some stories and comments from some of your patients and coworkers on your website. Melody, you DO make me to want to be a better person, Not just to lose weight, not just to get my body healthy, but to strengthen my spirit, and be of use to others. I've got a long way to go, and a lifetime to do it.......
Thank you for your inspiration, thank you for taking the time to share yourself with others during you most difficult journey. Looking forward to giving you that "hike" someday...


Blessing,

Sandi

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Let me explain

If my last post offended anyone.......... I did not mean anything, and I am sorry. and i want to clarify that i am not picking on the Catholic religion honest Christina , you know you "paste" my luggage. I just think sometime ALL denominations get so wrapped up, in Doctrine, and Rituals, and such...... i know church's that are more worried about if the woman cuts her hair, or wear pants.... than where the woman's heart and soul is. My sister goes to a church, where they feel they are the "chosen" church to bring this region to Jesus. The minister actually stopped and visited me at the hospital while i was sick with Pneumonia, and accidentally said that ".....He doesn't get ill, people that get ill aren't "in tune" with God.. " ummmm, yeah right, those precious baby's that die shortly after birth ......come on. There is not a place in the Bible that says.......thou that are Christians will not get ill on earth. .

Tomorrow we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus...... he died and rose again for EVERYONE, not the Catholics, not the Protestants, not the Pentecostals, not the Christians....... He DIED for the homeless, mentally ill, the lonely, the hopeless. None of us any better than the other.

P.S i wrote this on Saturday, at the peak of PMS, so i am pretty emotional but since i did write it as a draft.......i will publish it!!!!

Friday, April 06, 2007

GOOD FRIDAY.......

I did go to Chris' and workout this morning...... it's funny 2 miles is a workout, but i can tell it's starting to get a little easier... now i am going to have to do the 3 mile tapes from now on. Oh yeah, Patti, if you don't mind I am giving my brother Doug and his wife "your" bedroom. and i will tell them to make themselves at home :0) , and Kim, Bill and I are going to take your bedroom. ..... .. there is plenty of room.... so the others can fit in where they want.

I am sitting her at work, and reflecting about what Good Friday means to me.... it doesn't mean that I can't eat red meat yet!!! it doesn't mean two more shopping days before the Easter Bunny comes, It doesn't even mean that i have to run to a Good Friday Service..... It doesn't mean that i can't drink the soda or the candy i gave up at the beginning of Lent.

In my opinion, I think this day is one of the most awestruck days in my Faith. it is this day, that Jesus was Crucified/ Died for my imperfections. (and there are many) It is on this day that I remember what He did for me, out of pure and unconditional love.

Maybe next year instead of "giving something up" for lent......... maybe I will "give something for lent" Maybe I'll give 1 hour of my time a week to visit a nursing home. Maybe I'll give away something i really like, not something i was going to throw away. Maybe I'll make a conscious effort to smile and give a kind word to even the unlovable. Maybe next lent, I'll forgive someone. maybe I'll ask someone for their forgiveness. What does NOT eating chocolate really do for Our world? And if someone eats "red" meat on Friday for Lent....is that really really bad??? In the scheme of things........ i don't think God is up there in Heaven with a list of who did and did not eat fish on Fridays..... i think he's a little too busy to worry about that.

Have a wonderful weekend.......and take a moment to reflect!!! and be thankful

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Speechless........yes, i was speechless!!!

Yes......... i did go workout this morning.........Chris checked out the blog early this morning, and pretty much saw i was trying to get out of it.......so she "encouraged" me to do a very tough 3 miles...... okay okay, it was more of a "she made me do it" than encouraged! It was a really good workout, and actually during the workout, there was a 15 minute segment, that i was unable to converse. I mean i could say a simple word, but no conversation. ( hey it just hit me, i know that Curves is closed for good Friday........and Chris, we didn't schedule our Friday work out, are we doing anything tomorrow?)

So i came home, and my Cable just got the ON Demand movie Charlotte's Web, that i so wanted to see since i saw the previews. I made a lunch, sat down to watch it. This was one of my favorite childhood books..... I loved it........ and shhhhhhhh don't tell anyone, but i cried so hard during the end part........ i mean you just fall in love with the spider.... So there i am almost 40 years old...... alone at home, watching Charlotte's Web, and crying my eyes out... I am pretty sure that PMS is involved somewhat...... but still! Cute movie, my family has outgrown these kinds of movies, my "baby" is 12 and would be mortified if i made him watch this with me.

My brother is coming home on Saturday for Easter, he and his family will be staying here.... i am looking forward to it, Not stressing at all......... and still plan on keeping faithful to my "melody's mile " quest. So i will be able to go to curves and work out the other days too.

Kids will be home soon, so i should finish up the 15 jobs that i have partially done today.

Take 1 minute and think about ALL the things you are thankful for

LAUGHTER.............

If laughter is good for your health, Well then, Chris and I are sooooooo healthy. No matter how bad the day starts, or what mood we are in...........some how, some way........ we start laughing!!!! Sometimes it's just how i say things. Like who knew that The Rolling Stones wasn't just a magazine! who new that Mick Jagger wasn't married to Heather Locklear? So i lead a sheltered childhood, but not really......... I mean Christina didn't know that Kenny Rogers was married to Marianne the second time around, and had a son Christopher (i think that was his name) See it was Christina who was clueless :0)

Good day yesterday. Did go to Curves of course, my tooth is not feeling as bad as it did the day before, so maybe, it's just irritation from being worked on and not damaged. i will give it time, and we will see.

I figured out my worse time for eating.........so now i gotta figure out why/ i do great all day long. Packing healthy lunches and snacks for work..... even using my pedometer timer to remind me to eat every 2-3 hours, even if it is a few strawberries and a piece of grilled chicken. But for some reason...........come 7pm - 8pm, i just want to eat everything in site. I guess the first thing good is becoming aware of it.......

Oh yeah...... one more thing......... i must be starting to look like i am loosing weight...... my daughter Katie..........who loves speaking the truth about what her mommy is wearing , and how she looks....... ( "mom, that shirt, it's from the old days......since when did the late 80's early 90's become the old days???") my daughter was sitting in the living room, and I walked passed her, and she says sorta surprised.........wow mom, are you loosing weight? cause i think you are starting to look like you are!!! well yeah Katie......... haven't missed a workout/curves in two months, that's what happens....

Well, we will see if Chris calls me to do a work out...... I'll lay low and not say much, just in case she gets busy....... and forgets that i am here...... (one can only hope)

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

No exercise today

yesterday i had a simple tooth filled.... first cavity in a looooooooonng time. Well that was at 8am, still managed to go to Curves yesterday.... at 9am to workout even with 1/2 of my face numb and swollen, even forgot about the dentist appointment for one second.....until people, not going to mention any names......started making fun of me, calling me Elvis....." thank you, thank you very much" although i must admit, it WAS funny when i went to take a swig out of my water bottle...... and 1/2 of my mouth wouldn't close. water sorta dripped onto my shirt...
by 2pm i was starting to feel a lot of pain....... couldn't eat anything without feeling so much pain. called dentist....told me to take high doses of Motrin, woke up this morning....... so much pain in the entire 1/2 of my face.....it is swollen, i was running a fever of 100.9 -101.0 Had to stay home waiting for our Cable man to show up.....then knew i had to come to work at noon... so i guess i will give this another day....... regardless, when Christina called this morning i declined. and actually that is a good thing........i can't get so obsessed that i don't listen to my body.... and i know that my body is fighting something right now..... so a day without exercise is okay. although, here at work, if it is quiet, i may just go for a little walk on this gorgeous campus. we will see though, I must say this......... i miss Christina........although we just see each other for sometimes less that an hour, it's still so much fun.........haven't had my laughing fix today!!! I guess if i am going to see her this season, I'm going to have to get my butt down to the golf course and help her in the kitchen :0)

Monday, April 02, 2007

would it just be easier to not.....

Sometimes i think it would be easier to not get healthy, not loose weight, not exercise, not eat right..... umm can you tell that THIS is my PMS time. most people get the wrong idea about true PMS, and sometimes it's used for an excuse...... I don't get moody or violent per say. i don't need to eat tons more chocolate. i actually kept track of these symptoms for several months.. and it's like clock work, 8-12 days before my cycle. i get the the feeling of being overwhelmed, i get real sappy, i mean more than normal, i mean it's not just Folgers holiday coffee commercials that make me cry but now Mr. Clean commercials too :) (okay maybe i am exaggerating a little there, but you get the idea). I seem to not be as patient. Every muscle in my body aches.....for a while i just new that something was majorly wrong with me.....now i just know that in a few days I'll be fine. i get headaches. and i feel the sense of dread, I'll be lying in bed, and it will hit me, prob 10 years from now....it will change, my kids will be grown up and gone....gee in 10 years my "baby" will be 22. Now why worry about that now?. Most days of the month i am forever optimistic. enjoying each and every moment in my life. Cup always half full, God always there beside me.... it's just those few days.............those few days that i could do without.
......
so back to what i was saying, this morning, i am busy.... forgot that i had a dentist appointment to fix a cavity , as well as an appointment for my son Sam. My land line phone isn't working, my Internet isn't working......my cell phone only works half the time, I've got to be at work early (noon instead of 2:00pm), still have to get to curves. didn't have my lunch/dinner packed for work. I am way behind on clothes washing..... my brother is coming from Florida this weekend to spend Easter with Us................ and the list goes on........

............................. But, i Did go to Curves, the rest can wait, i did manage to pack a healthy lunch/snacks for work. and I did speak the umpteenth time to Comcast about our phone/cable/Internet. I was worked up and angry at this point, it took my good friend ( hi Christina) to make me stop and put my life in perspective. . . you know what is great, that Chris and I are usually not both at our wits end at the same time, so we are able to help each other stay grounded. My goodness......... Today was a celebration, my daughter went back to school for the first time in several weeks, She is feeling better, She's getting to be the old Katie.
I have this wonderful job to come too. I have this beautiful big home (that needs cleaned ;0) ) I have healthy boys, and a caring husband....... I have the best friends that this world has to offer. I have the ability to walk and move, even if i am a little achy today... i am so blessed...

I still check Melody's website, and Chad her husband just updated it yesterday..... and in there he let us read a few messages that patients, clients, colleagues, etc. wrote in a book that was left at a clinic where she worked. I must say....... this girl must of been a true angel on Earth.... she obviously lived her life helping and loving others. If there are "angel ranks" in heaven... she's got a high one. So many people commented on her smile... and i must say, that is what you first see, when looking at photographs of her. Melody, you are on the top five list of people to see/meet when i get to Heaven. You and your story just makes me to want to be the best that i can be for others .... thank you.

wow thru writing this blog today.......i now have the answer to my title .......... "would it just be easier to not..........." NO, it wouldn't , it would be a cop out on my part. it would be a disappointment to my heart and spirit, My quest for health is so important right now....... first off i don't want to let "ME" down, But I've got friends giving it their all, I've got Kids that want me around as they grow up, I've got a husband that wants me around for a long time. I've got people cheering me on who read this blog. and i got Melody in Heaven, wanting me to succeed. I guess i don't have a choice in this matter!!!! Melody's Mile......is just a part of my life...... and I'm here to succeed.... 10 miles to you Melody.......one of these days.