Sunday, December 30, 2007
There is nothing more priceless on this Earth, than human life........NOTHING!!!! and I've learned that so greatly this holiday season.....beginning at Thanksgiving time when Alex died... and Christmas time when Michael almost died....... hug your family and friends.......... and if you are holding on to any anger at someone....... let it go now............ life is precious and short....... to keep anger and resentment in your heart.
Happy NEW YEAR
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I didn't really come right out and say in my blog..... But Mike had more of a chance of dying than living!!! He really is such a sweet boy, that has made some bad decisions in life (who hasn't), and I just want him to wake up so he Knows how much he is loved. obviously this is one of those life changing experiences for Mike and his family, and i can see God's hand in every second of this journey. Yesterday Mike started breathing on his own, and the ventilator was doing minimal work.... the "Lung Wash" was a success, and his lungs are on their way to healing. They are still keeping Mike so sedated, we haven't seen any movement, or acknowledgement that Mike is aware of his surroundings since last Sunday before he went into Respiratory Arrest, So if the tube comes out of his throat today......... he'll be taken off a lot of his drugs.......and hopefully his mom and dad can see he is okay. He has been alert for the Nurses, but they seem to do it when family isn't around.......because Mike is in a lot of pain, and panics and "gags" with the intubation tube down his throat.
I was going to go to Amish Country with Christina today, But , I think Bill and I are going to go at some point to Pittsburgh to see Mike, and if Doug wants me with him today (he mentioned he might like to take me with him) well that is where i should be, and want to be....... I want to tell Mike that i love him.
Kimmie is coming tomorrow........ can't wait
Well i should get going, I call the hospital in the mornings, and then Doug calls me........and I update him....
Thank you all so much for your prayers.......... so many wonderful people in this world........ there really are!!!!
Friday, December 28, 2007
This past Christmas for me, was filled with very different emotions. I did remember Melody..... but i also have been dealing with the Life and Death situation of my Nephew. Mike, is still holding his own. He is still in a "coma" and it has been 5 days. We haven't seen movement or "signs" of life from him since this happened. The nursing staff has. and in the past 48 hours have been nothing but positive improvement. There is just a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I don't think that will go away until he wakes up, and breaths on his own. I woke up at 2:30 am last night, almost in a panic attack about Michael, and i ended up getting pretty worked up......... and then I remembered that God is in Control, and how i feel and think have absolutely NOTHING to do with Mike getting better. i had to be thankful the phone did not ring in the middle of the night, i have to be thankful that Michael is alive and fighting, I have to be thankful that all news in the past 2 days have been positive...... i have to be still and let God be God!!! I will call the hospital this morning for an update on Mikes progress. Continue your prayers, I want my Nephew to wake up!!!!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
My brother wanted me to go to the hospital with him today....... he's been absolutely insane since this happened.....understandably so.
Michael remains in Critical but stable condition. West Penn placed him in a "deeper" coma, and he is on paralytic drugs.... they said his lungs are so weak and damaged......they need rest for the next 24-48 hours. So this is a VERY good thing for young Mike. We understand the longer on the ventilator, the harder to wean, but this is the best option for Michael. The photo is me giving Mike a kiss, since he was little, we always had a joke about "Aunt Sandi" hugs and kisses, and he'd pretend to just hate them... and i used to have to chase him for them. When he wakes up......he is going to really get a kick out of this picture.
As you can tell, i do look pretty happy in this photo, but at this moment he is stable, kidneys, heart, and liver working beautiful. Brain function is 100%. So for this moment i will rejoice and give Thanks to God for the small but mighty miracles.. Please continue to pray for him, as obviously he is not out of the woods yet....
Christmas has been quiet and peaceful. I've been thinking about my other nephew and his family out in Oregon....... and for this, I can't totally celebrate and be joyful. But I can be thankful... and humbled on the day of Jesus' birth..........
love and blessings to all
so much for the roller coast ride...........up............ well it lasted 3 hours. my brother just got the call to get back to the hospital, Mike took a turn for the worse....... they are going to put the chest tube in now......as the air is now expanding to the abdominal cavity... pray pray pray
Monday, December 24, 2007
Mike has always had breathing/asthma problems since he was a baby... my brother, his wife, my niece, and my nephew all smoke....... this is the worse thing for acute Asthma, now my brother said, Mike had been so sick for the past few days that he didn't even smoke.... i am hoping that this is a wake up call for Mike, and maybe his family. Understand, i am not judging, because in reality, it is not much different than me overeating, knowing that it can /will hurt my heart. or a diabetic that eats sugars.
My brother was so upset during this, Christina and I were delivering cookies that we made, and my phone was left in the car. Doug was frantically trying to get a hold of me..... i had dozens of missed calls in a 15 minute period, he wanted me with him, i couldn't leave his side....... it's almost like he thought i could just "save" Mike. I stayed with Mike in the ER and when he got settled in ICU.... I stayed tough......didn't break down.... asked all the "right" questions. And then late last night, I finally cracked...... i just lost it!!! and then it dawned on me...... Since my mom died almost 8 years ago..... Early in life i became the Matriarch of the family, my brother was looking at me for comfort, and support....in his mind, it was like he thought of me as a motherly figure......and that I would make it better....... and guess what, I can't make it better!!!! I can just pray, pray that God holds Michael tight........and that Mike will wake up Okay............ all i can do is Pray
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Here is a photo of my two 16 year old boys before the Christmas dance....... they look so handsome and sweet don't they? But let me tell you, this is a tough age for me to parent. I have to protect them, and yet give them enough "rope" to hang themselves with. They seem to hang themselves quite well right now. They are not 18 yet. and they still live in my home, therefore i can still control them!!! But i must say they are getting mouthier and mouthier...... and I love them tons!! Andrew is at a period right now where he thinks he is invincible, and nothing could happen to him..... well something DID happen to him 4 months ago, and just now he seems to be recovering.... he doesn't understand why i won't let him run 4 miles in the dark on back trails right now.... we actually had a pretty good fight about that.... a trip and fall in the dark and cold, a bump on the head, a bear, or a bobcat, and anything else.... he is getting smart trying to play me and his dad, and he knows his dad is a softy sometimes. But Albert and I communicate, everyday, sometimes several times a day about the kids. so we do know what is going on!!! Bill tends to be stricter, and wants me to pull the ropes even tighter. But that won't work either...... like I said, i have to find a balance of keeping my children safe/ and making them grow up. in 2 years they will be 18 and then you just gotta pray! I realize boys grow up a little later than that, so it's just hold your breath, and wait and see.... and remember, God just lent them to you in the first place. Ah, my boys are growing up!!! And i got to get ready to let them go...... i don't know which is harder????
Speaking of Growing up.......... Sammy my "baby" turned 13 yesterday. i officially have 4 teenagers living in my home. We took him and one of his friends and hung out at the zoo yesterday...... i had the greatest time. that was the first time I ever went to the zoo during off season hours, and it was great. We had the place almost to ourselves.... and the animals were so frisky in the cool weather. usually in the summer it is so hot and crowded and smelly with bugs everywhere. then we went shopping for a few things. I babysat my nephew last night. and went to curves and then final Christmas shopping this afternoon....... so I think I am done.
I have some cool photos of the zoo.......I'll try and post later.
love and blessings to all..... p.s. Chris, thanks for letting me go to Curves today...... you didn't give me an option.......and that is a good thing
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
I am thrilled that Kim is doing so well with her eye surgery. Bill offered to take her home for the holidays if she didn't get the okay to drive! we weren't going to let her miss Christmas at home!!! but she IS going to hang her for a few days for News Year Eve with Us. My entire family has gotten attached to her and are looking forward to her coming for a visit.
Patti , Kim and I have decided that your husband is very ruggedly handsome...... and you two look gorgeous together......oh Kim said more, but........shhhh her mom reads this blog (Hi Kim's mom, i am going to meet you soon, and i am looking forward to it......thanks for the comment on my blog, i loved hearing from you).
Kellie, you know I love ya girl......... and Nathan and your family are always on my mind...and my prayers....... soon as winter stops we are coming up there to take you out girl..... (me, Kimmie, and Christina) so get ready......... for lots of laughs......... we seem to do that a lot lately.
Curves tomorrow morning, and Saturday...........i really would like to walk outside soon...... weather doesn't bother me.........so why am I not doing it??? gee, no reason!!! Melody, i gotta get myself in gear....... i remember you, I will not forget my promise.... we are getting close to the 1 year anniversary since you became an angel!!! I pray that God holds your family tight during this sad time.... you Melody......have changed my life for the good........ and i am not even talking health wise, but attitude and strength!!!
time for bed for me............ love to all my friends out there...... I love how God knows better than we do when he puts people in our lives!!!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Christina.... your family is truly my family in every way.... and I love you all so much.
The hit of the evening was giving my father in law his gift. If you remember i had a walking stick made for him in honor of his grandchildren.... it was a very personal gift. of course we couldn't wrap this stick up to disguise it too well...... so I typed him a message and wrapped in up in a box,....... it said, I tried really hard to get your present in this box, i really tried, it just wouldn't fit. so if you would please close your eyes and count to 10 really slow. You are the best. ......
then my daughter went and got the stick, and he opened his eyes... and just looked at it...... didn't say a word.... and then he read: A grandpaps love is forever! and then the names of all of his grandchildren below that. Including the grandson he lost a few weeks ago, and Corey, the foster boy that nobody wanted that he "adopted" when he came to live with us. This precious man is truly my FAVORITE man on this earth! even including my wonderful husband! this man loves his family completely, passionately, and with all of his being...... you'd have to just know him to understand. The pain he is feeling right now, I guess none can truly understand. He started to cry........and i mean he just broke down. the house was so quiet, and as i looked around i noticed several of my brothers crying too....... to see this man cry!! but the words on this stick said it all........ and Grandpaps love IS forever. and even death can't separate the love he has for his grandchildren/ what a beautiful way to remember Alex., and honor the grandchildren living . "pappy Al" when I married Albert almost 20 years ago..... you became my father in law, when my dad died almost 14 years ago you became my father. and when Albert and I divorced almost 9 years ago....... you remained my father! I'll always think of you as such.......and i will always love you!!!!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Kim called and let me know that everything went really well.....they took the bandages off and she could see.... Thank you God for this miracle, how amazing that doctors can take a donor cornea and place it on someone else..........and it knows exactly what to do!!!!
The house is modestly decorated this year, nothing outside yet other than the wreath!!! but that is okay. Family is coming to the house tomorrow, for our annual Christmas Party.... and i am not getting too worked up, actually I am not getting worked up at all!!! What will be-will be!!! Bill and I were going to do a road trip on Sunday, but it was toward Erie, and snow and Ice.... so we scrapped that plan. Bill may be off again on Monday. I am doing a ham, and stuffed shells for Saturday, and I should get the shell done and ready tonight...... so i just have to put it in the oven.... so no stress there........ everyone else is bringing a covered dish, so the brunt isn't on me.
last year at this time i was 5 days post op from major foot surgery....... my foot has healed well. and i am so thankful for that.
It was during this time last year that Melody was coming down to her final days on Earth!!! I am praying that the families can find comfort and peace somehow this year. And Alex's family is just trying to get by day to day.......as his death is so new..... I guess I can see why this time of the year is such a contrast of joy and despair!!! yes the lights, the presents, the parties, the decorating, the tree's, Santa, little children, baking, smells of sugar cookies, pine, and Cinnamon in the air, Christmas Carole's..... this is all joyful!!! but for the many out there that has suffered such a tragic loss, the death of a loved one, the homeless, the lonely, the sick, the poor....... Christmas time magnifies what they do not have. We must all try and remember the day Christmas began......... was a quiet night, cold and dark. the stable was warm from the radiating heat from the animals, the smell of hay and manure mixed together permeated the air, and the soft cries of a baby lying in the manger, the gift offered to all... the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak, the joyful and the depressed. This gift doesn't recognize social status or wealth.... what a gift!!!
well today is my last day at work for a few weeks, and I hope to take advantage of that. I did go to Curves today and that is a good thing..... I know they will be starting the nutrition classes in January, I'd like to join again. so informative and it really makes you accountable too.
love and blessing to you all, but i should get to work
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Cliff, you are a great brother...... she adores her family that is for sure.
I'll post more tomorrow, but for now, i am tired.......and I am going to bed.
I love you guys.
p.s. Jessie, i remember you from when you were a little girl......you've grown up to be a beautiful young woman (saw your picture on Alex's my space)
post longer tomorrow
Monday, December 10, 2007
Well, I did put the Christmas tree up yesterday... guess who picked out the tree? 8 years ago when Albert left me, who would have ever thought he'd be picking out the Christmas tree years later? Not me! Yes Albert my X, and my youngest son Sammy went and got the tree this year. And it is one of the most beautiful trees we've had. It stands past 10 feet tall. i have it decorated with hundreds of colored lights....... and a history of ornaments. Ornaments that the kids made, ornaments that i made as a child. Some ornaments that my grandma had many many years ago. There are angels, and Santa, and snowmen, doves and bird nest, and just a plethora of objects in many colors. If you like "uniform" trees, or trees with a theme........well this isn't one of them.... but this tree is me, me and my family! it represents the mixture in my home....... me, a husband, an X husband , three kids that I gave birth too, the kid i got from the "foster system"....and who ever else that "stays" for a given reason.
Saturday Was Bill and My anniversary, we have been married 6 years. it doesn't seem that long already. It's a good thing that most of the time, i still enjoy being around him. And actually today he took off work, we are going to do some Christmas shopping, go out to eat, and just hang out!!! I was supposed to spend the day with Christina baking cookies, but i think Andrew is going down if he can ,to give her a hand. that boy loves loves loves her.........sometimes i think he loves "Christina" more than me..... but hey what can I say, he made a great choice.
My kids this year, are truly in the Christmas spirit.... and not concerned about "getting" things this year. We are working on a project for this season. and they are all into it.
well i better go and get ready to spend a wonderful day with Bill
Kim just 2 more days.......i am praying for ya. Kellie, I am praying that the MRI gives you the info you need, and i pray for Nathan all the time
I love all of you guys.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Andrew had an appointment this week... and it went great, He just breezed by the testing. and the part that test how the Frontal lobe is working, jumped by 24% to 70%. he is definitely going the right direction. The doctors don't want to push the back to school just yet. He has like 10 school days before the holiday vacation.... He is now working several hours a day at home to catch up, So hopefully when the new year comes, Andrew will be ready to get back to school.
Sammy was so sick on Mon/Tues he had a fever, along with stomach flu. that is what seems to be going around here. well then I got it weds night and Thursday. and actually today I am just really weak, and still have the runs, but no more fever, or vomiting! Weds night, i took a bonine (for motion sickness/nausea) and i must say first it made me so tired, and then i got so loopy, and then i guess i got what you'd call a hangover (not exactly sure how hangovers are supposed to feel) but i got this headache, and blah feeling.
I did decorate for Christmas a couple days ago........and I am glad that i did. i feel that ultimately I am still in control of my happiness. and yes i am so so sad about Alex, and what his family is going through. BUT if Bob and Gail can pull out their decorations and force themselves to live for the sake of the children that did not die, how dare anyone else even remotely complain about not feeling like it. God Bless and Be with this precious family at Christmas time!!!
Well my stomach is acting up right now......... i feel so much rumbling and grumbling i think I'll cut this short. i work today and tomorrow, so maybe I'll post more later.
Monday, December 03, 2007
I haven't been blogging as much lately. And I haven't even started decorating for Christmas yet!! and if I can be honest, I don't really feel like it right now.
I know that I am no longer a Frassenei, but i can't get Alex and his family out of my mind! he will ALWAYS be my nephew. I can't imagine how his parents and immediate family are dealing with this. I am finding that my quiet moments are when I think about it the most!!! before i fall asleep, when i wake up, and several times in between!!! I hear the pain in his Grandparents voices and I just know how much his parents value their Children.... it's unthinkable the pain and emptiness that they must feel. Alex little boy, you have suddenly made me look at Christmas time in a new light, you truly have....... suddenly making sure my kids get the biggest and best gifts are not a priority, or if I have the house decorated perfect, or going deep into debt to buy buy buy......that is NOT what it is about. I have my children with me, I have a warm beautiful home, I have friends that mean the world to me, and i have a kitchen full of food.... What more on this earth could i possibly want?? Before Alex died, I was so worried about what and how i was going to get this and that for Christmas, worried about minor dilemmas dealing with the annual Christmas Party.... already feeling overwhelmed by everything that "has" to be done. And suddenly i realize how quickly a life can change, how quickly someone can leave this Earth..........and suddenly the problems of yesterday, are really not a problem at all!!! And i know a broken family in Oregon, that would switch me "problems" any day.
Well tomorrow Andrew heads back to Pittsburgh to meet up with one of his doctors. Hoping things go well for him. I think I am going to do Curves tomorrow evening, Thursday Morning and Sat morning, well at least that is the plan.... Sammy is sick today, and he is still at the age that he wants his mama. I had to come to work, so Aunt Lou came up to be with him.
Oh, my father-in-laws, (i hate saying X father-in-law) Christmas gift is finished... I don't know if I mentioned it on past blogs, but Pap Al was helping me with my walking stick that I've been working on.... it is a staff that I use for hiking, maybe you've seen them at Craft shows. Big Al wanted one for when he goes berry picking and such..... So i thought I'd have one made and Personalized. I had Carved into the walking stick the saying " a grandpas love is forever"
and underneath, i had all the grand kids names engraved starting with the oldest /first grandchild, and ending with my foster son, who they have "adopted" and treat as their own.
I just thought it would be cool to do this, to honor Alex, and let the world know, that Death can't break the bond of Love that family has for one another.
oh gee, i am so sappy, i gotta get over this........
Friday, November 30, 2007
I've been thinking about Alex, my nephew, a lot lately!!! As i said before, in my mind he is still a little boy.....with blond curly hair, the prettiest eyes and lips.... and a sunshiny disposition. Although through the years, with him moving to Oregon, and Albert and I divorcing.... i want him to know, I've always thought about him, and asked about him, and kept up with him through grandma and grandpa and Katie. And i did see him the last time he visited. As he got older, he didn't come home with his family as often!!! ...... Oh Alex, hope you are having fun in heaven buddy. Katie said you guys will always be cousins with that special childhood connection ( she used different wording of course )
well i am feeling pretty crampy, so i think I'll go and lie down and use the heating pad..... and wait for my family to come home...
Have a safe weekend everyone
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Thanksgiving was my moms favorite holiday of the year, and when i was younger, I just couldn't understand that. first off, you don't get presents on Thanksgiving, you don't go door to door getting candy either!!!! you don't receive cute little red heart shaped cards. and gee there aren't any fireworks to ohhhhh and awwwwwwwwww over!!! Thanksgiving for my mom, was getting up at 3am to put the 20 lb turkey in the oven, even though you just went to bed at 1am after making 10 pies.... i came from a big family with little money....... but we had food. and my mom was an awesome cook. my mom spent her life being thankful for what she had, she was thankful that we were all there to sit around the table. she was thankful for the food daddy put on the table. She didn't have to stress abut presents, or decorations, or shopping!!! Now that I am older, I understand how truly important Thanksgiving is. God Thank you for all that you have done for me. Bill Thank you for always putting me first. Kids Thank you for loving me for no reason other than I am your mom. And my Friends Thank you for being such an important part of my life
Ahhhhhhhhh, Thanksgiving.........my cup is overflowing!!!!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
BAD NEWS, Andrew has greatly regressed since he tried the one day of back to school. he went to school on Tuesday, came home from school and has basically slept until noon today. he has a bad headache, extreme dizziness, foggy mind, he can't even watch TV right now. He is now back to home schooling as tolerated until at least mid December. GOOD NEWS, the prognosis is and remains excellent,. His physicians warned that this could happen if he wasn't careful about listening to the signals of his body. Andrew wanted so bad to be back to normal, that he pushed himself too hard, and as a way for the brain to "protect" it self while healing...... it stopped working for him. We all tried to tell Drew, to go slow, tell someone when your head feels funny......etc... but we must remember, He is still just 16. and kids tend to think they are Invincible... hopefully he has learned his lesson. As mom and dads we are going to have to be more diligent in making sure we monitor how Andrew is doing, and what he is doing...
well i am going to get going right now, I went to Curves today and loved it. I am working hard again, and it feels sooooooooooo good.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
wow i have two days in a row off, wait, three days!!! yeah i work Saturday and then I am off for 10 days during Thanksgiving break.... I'd like to get organized to do some backing and cooking.
Andrew did pretty good his first day back, he came home with a pretty good headache, and couldn't do his tutoring today......actually he hasn't left the couch all evening! this is what is to be expected, he wants to be Mr. Tough guy, who can't tell the teacher he is getting dizzy!!! which in turn ended up being a pretty nasty head ache. It will come, but i guess we all need to be patient.
I am loving being back at Curves.........this place is just so awesome...... i have been sporatic at best the past 2 months.... and i must say, i do like my Yoga tape, only did like 15 minutes yesterday....... but it too is a slow process building my flexibility and endurance back up.
Well if I get off work early, I will go down and help Bill fold/dry/load clothes. Albert has a washer/dryer at his house that isn't used....... ( his mom does his laundry......., even when he stays at his house sometimes).......and I wonder why our marriage had problems, he's always loved his mom more than me. well anyhow Albert told Bill he could use his washer/dryer.. yes since those two started working together, i feel so left out (I am joking here) But seriously my kids are so dang lucky, that is all that I can say.
Have a good day, a good evening, a good life.
p.s. I think Christina might just like Joyce Meyer, she watched her this morning......... i think she liked what she heard Kim...
Monday, November 12, 2007
Actually i am doing great........ is my washing machine still broke? yup! Is my clothes dryer ready to crash? yup! Is my car's check engine light on? yup!, does the car make a really really funny noise? yup! Is our Car Insurance, house Insurance, and property taxes due ? yup!! ...... And I just figure that it will work out. it always does, my husband has been offered unlimited overtime right now, a thing that never happens. I keep getting called to "take" days for co workers.... actually picking up one tomorrow too. My husband and daughter and son Corey has offered to take all the clothes to the laundry mat and wash them while i am at work tomorrow. You know all about Christina, but she has this equally wonderful husband, whom i adore!!! Larry is one of those men, who in my eyes .......seems to be able to do anything and everything, and can do nothing wrong!!! Not counting my hubby Bill, my X father in law, and Chris' husband are the top 2 of my favorite guy list. and of course if my daddy were still alive, he'd be up there too. When Albert first left me, i was clueless, scared, and lost about things........ It was Larry who kept an eye on my car for me, or came up and checked why i didn't have water coming out of the faucet, or plowed my driveway when it snowed a foot..... Now that i have my wonderful husband Bill........who knows slightly more than my nothing, we both rely on Larry to Check our washing machine out/ tell us the part we need/ and then fix it! Bill always checks with Larry before he attempts anything on the house. (Larry is the one that did our family room, and added on our master suite) When an appliance needs installed, we get Larry! I truly don't know what I'd do with out that family. That is why I'd do just about anything for them!!!
So i guess it really is all about Attitude! and I guess although i cannot control everything breaking down around me. I can control my reaction to it! And i can Look to the Heavens and be thankful for my life, trials and all.............. gee I bet Satan hates that!!!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
tomorrow I actually have a day off, I got to figure out how to wash my clothes...and I'd like to do my Yoga tape. but that is it......... The kids are going to their grandparents for dinner, so it's just Bill and Me for a while,....... i am sure he will have plan's of his own........ football!!!!
Friday, November 09, 2007
Hey Patti, you know how for years, you worked at getting your body healthy, loosing sizes ..... and you kept plugging along... but it was a time when it just "clicked". well for my buddy Christina....... it just clicked for her, and she looks great. oh she's been working at it, and she's been exercising..... for years. Well lately these pants that she kept in her closet, are fitting her..... and she's really just learning to eat smart..... I am so proud of her~~~ wait until you meet her Patti, you two will get along, i just know it.
the Curves Nutrition plan is really a sound plan, with easy to follow directions it's all about lean protein, complex carbs, eating frequently, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. It's about learning to read labels and know that all "whole wheat" breads are NOT created equal. It's about drinking water, and exercising..... and loving yourself in the process
Okay on another topic............. GREAT NEWS!!!! Andrew had his last day of Therapy today(vestibular therapy) it was intense therapy, and the last time he went he got sick. the therapist said she'd like to train other area therapist to learn vestibular therapy, but the one machine alone cost well over $120,000 It is a bugger to get to this part of Pittsburgh, and it's at least 45 minutes away and I told his therapist I'd of brought him 7 days a week if I had too!!! It is awesome to know that after the accident, and when they figured out that when one eye focused, the other went in a different direction, that the EYES could be trained to work together again. So Andrew has this triangle of help, His concussion specialist, His headache specialist, and Vestibular therapist........ and they all work together for the best interest of Andrew. Now Andrew may have only went weekly to the therapist, but he had lots of "homework" and exercising that he had to do twice a day when he didn't go... why am i rambling again, I'm just happy right now, and my happiness is well deserved, but there is a slight shadow in my joy..... and i am remembering beautiful Nathan, and his difficulties. I've just drank a teaspoon out of the gallon of hardship that Nathan and his family must feel. And I am humbled with this knowledge!!! I was told from the very beginning that Andrew would get better....... the time frame could of been 2 weeks to a year, BUT the prognosis was almost 100% healing. Nathan's family doesn't have that prognosis, actually these people don't really even know what to expect.. they have to just take one day at a time, the good and the bad. Please Please Please keep Kellie and her family in your prayers.
Well I should go and work...........since i am at work!!!!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Andrew had another appointment, and the frontal brain lobe is finally healing like it should...... He hasn't been released yet......... after this round of home schooling, he can start back to school for 1/2 days with tons of rules and restrictions........ like open book tests, no timed test, frequent rest periods, written or audio taped study notes..... and a slew of other things..... I feel by Christmas break Andrew will be back to Andrew. oh he can start lifting weights again ........light weights/many reps. and he can really up his cardiovascular another notch
Well I think I'll get going for now....... have a great day.
Nathan, how are you doing little man? I pray for you all the time. and i think you have a great mom........shhhhhh don't tell her.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Maybe I'll get on and type more later, i just ache all over, and sitting at this desk is uncomfortable.........what is a woman to do???
Friday, November 02, 2007
Sometimes i don't want any more, but sometimes I think God would like me to take more.... after these ones are raised of course, And Katie is not like the boys...... she thinks enough is enough..... and for a while I have to respect her thoughts........ but if she's still living here when she's 30..... well tough for her.......... ;0) I guess if I really think about it. 4 teenagers are plenty at one time. But there are sooooooooooo many children in need out there. Corey has been with us for 3+ years now. And the agency told me it is rare that kids in his situation flourish. well we lucked out with a good kid. His grades are improving, he's social, he's happy, he stopped therapy over a year ago. He's affectionate, and loving, he's my boy. oh i forgot to mention annoying and a pain too :0) but what teenage boy isn't.
I am still feeling absolutely terrible, the muscle aches haven't changed much..... and I am so tired. I am coughing more today. I work until about 8pm tonight. Tomorrow the family is coming over for Lasagna dinner. and Sunday I plan on resting resting resting..... the kids and Bill have been great about keeping up with the house and laundry these past few days that i haven't been home...... and if it is NOT perfect, so what. Next week I have several doctor appointments for drew, and I work a few days too. it is hard to believe that Thanksgiving break is right around the corner!!! how time flies the older we get.
Well I am going to get going here, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
make it a good one.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
My doctor said that my lungs sound terrible, i am wheezing all over the place. I am running a fever, my blood pressure was 170/110 (pain increases blood pressure) She ordered a Chest Xray and all kinds of blood work. it could be a flair up of the Epstein Barr Virus. she also ordered a Mono screening and some other things. i am supposed to take Motrin around the clock, and use my inhaler frequently!!! So I guess I've actually been sick :( , who'd of guessed??? I am very tired i know that much......I'd love a day to not do a thing, to just lie in bed and let my body rest, So maybe Sunday? maybe Sunday
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Christina went with me, and that was a trip in and of itself..... we had so much fun. Andrew loves his "Aunt Christina" Kim and Chris finally got to meet (after Drew's appointment we picked her up) And i must say they both hit it off right away. as they both told me they immediately felt comfortable with each other. Now i must say, they tended to pick on me a little bit, and i did feel out numbered at times, but i managed to survive!
Kim and I are definitely good traveling buddies. It was a very relaxing road trip. The trip going out east was rainy, and terribly foggy... there were times that I couldn't see anything in front of me. I drove slow and steady, I was in no hurry. And I just had "faith" that all would be fine. We ended up staying with one of my friends out near Hershey. Both Kim and I felt at home there too. I wanted to see Joyce Meyer in person for so long, and it seemed to work out that we were able to go. oh Satan tried to screw up the plans in about 10 different ways, but I let God take care of him, and I didn't worry about it. We managed to get with in 12 rows of center stage. . . . . For those who don't know Joyce Meyer, let me tell you.... she has a way of speaking to you.......she speaks about dealing with everyday life. She is real and she relates!!
Our lesson on Saturday was how to put the "armor of protection" on. How to survive in today's world. You know if you think about it too much, this world is very scary. and sometimes just overwhelming because we don't seem to have control. God doesn't want us to live in fear. And although many things in life are beyond our control.......... NOTHING is beyond God's control.
Well, do you know what the "weapon of choice" is to fight Satan and his demons??? It is Love and Forgiveness. If you think about it, it makes sense. The one thing that Satan hates is Peace in Our lives. and the one thing that prevents us from having peace is letting hatred, jealousy, anger, revenge, consume our thoughts and our lives. My friend from out east, is having such a problem in her life right now. She HATES her mother, she hates her childhood, yeah there were degrees of abuse there as well as abandonment. There is so much garbage in her past that she has held on too. . . . . . . . she can't shake it, She takes pills to sleep or she can't sleep, she needs stimulants to wake up, or she can't wake up. She has "headaches ALL the time" She hates her marriage, she hates her life........ she hates her mother, most of all she Hates herself ......... it is a vicious circle. She went with us to see Joyce on Saturday, and I just pray that the seed was planted, that is all. I love her dearly, and I want her to be happy, but again I am reminded that I cannot control any ones happiness but my own!!
to this day, I have some people say to me that they think it is just so "weird" how me and my x husbands relationship is, they say it isn't normal!!!! . I could have become bitter, held on to my anger. make my x husband pay for what he did to me. get even with him, settle the score....... all in the name of what??? How would this have helped me? How would our children have benefited from so much hate? Oh yeah Satan would have loved it, because with this hate, Satan has power, he has power to manipulate our lives so that we can't ever find peace. When i consciously made an effort to forgive Albert (x husband) and ask his forgiveness for my downfall in the marriage. When I gave my entire situation to God. Satan lost his grip on my life, and there was nothing he could do. Everyone that comes to my house, say there is a feeling of "comfort and peace" in my home, that they can't put a finger on it Well I can. Although i fail frequently, I truly try to let God take over.... and I do my best to let love shine through... God does the rest.
I needed a reminder this weekend, i needed rejuvenated. There are so many areas which I fail, and I am reminded to keep trying........ keep loving,.......... keep forgiving!!!
As much as it feels good to get away.......... there is No place like Home, and come Sunday Kim and I were both ready to be Home....... we had a beautiful morning to travel...... we'll have to do it again.....
So if I learned anything this weekend....... Love is the ultimate weapon in fighting Satan....
did you put your "love" on today?
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Thanks to my buddy Christina whom i just love, (although if i remember, the exact words i was using for her yesterday when she "talked" me into going to curves was, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you) I went and worked out yesterday..... so far that is 2 days. I know that at one point I am going to get a hike in with Kimmie and Lydia. so I'll do what I can do. But in all seriously Christina, I do appreciate you gently kicking my butt into action.
Andrew is doing really well, and is officially getting on my nerves now :0) and i couldn't be happier. he seems to be able to read a little more, as i notice him doing more and more of his homework. And his energy is coming back in leaps and bounds!!!! He goes for therapy tomorrow in Pittsburgh. Chris is coming with me, and then we are picking up Kimmie, and then we should be heading out East to Hershey to see Joyce Meyer. I am expecting a great week end. so I am pretty sure that is what I am going to get.
Have a great weekend folks, and I will tell you all about it when I can.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Love and Blessings to everyone.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Me: kdfid oijkhdf n oiugn;vgmnm ajdfnfvfv jkgask;lftguj ku ki asod
Kim: diofroigf gk ggjgtg aosrhtaqiokfef dke gtor lsjkt owet j lsert
Seriously though, words just weren't coming out, And some of the wording left us laughing so hard..... Kim, nothing will beat the wording you used about your mom and dad..... that was such a "Freudian" slip. and I can't even say what you said as to fear your mama is reading this :o)
but let me tell you..........it was funny!!!!
As it works out, I will be in Pittsburgh on Friday morning taking Andrew to therapy.... Christina is going to come with me cause i am scared to drive in Pittsburgh by myself. We will prob be done the same time Kim is ready to leave for our road trip. Although Kim wasn't worried, she was concerned about possibly driving to my house, and even driving back home on Sunday in the dusk/dark. Kim is doing as little driving as possible right now while she is waiting for her next scheduled eye surgery. So not a problem, we will swing by and Pick Kimmie up, and then Bill and I will take her back on Sunday...... so there is no problem!!!
Oh in Kimmie's blog she comments that we are going to be like Thelma and Louise. however it was quickly decided that we are going to be Lucy and Ethel. Yup if you know me or Kimmie at all you will agree, Lucy and Ethel all the way.... I am praying that God keeps his hand in our little trip, I am feeling that this is needed for one reason or another.... So look out Hershey, look out Joyce Meyer,..........here we come.
oh yeah, i was actually thinking about how much fun it would be to "camp " out over night, and wait for the gates to open up the next day......... well let me tell you, I don't think Kim liked that Idea..... she said she will think about going early Saturday, the doors open at 8am, the service starts at 10am maybe I'd like to get there at 6:30am.....that sounds reasonable doesn't it???
It's a beautiful day, I will rejoice.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
my job here at Kiski is being wonderful wonderful wonderful. I am able to switch my schedule at a drop of the hat. and they are working with me every step of the way. At this point the other job isn't working out quickly enough.........again I just coast and let God lead in that matter. and right now I couldn't honestly give them days without worrying about needing to switch and change them.
Thanks for breakfast this morning Christina......... So this morning, i am talking with Chris, and she is talking about this whole grain/high fiber/flax seed cereal, so i went to her house to have breakfast with her. well, wouldn't you know, Andrew asked if he could go too.... how cute is that? I know that my kids adore/and love Christina. but for him to want to have breakfast with two "old ladies" talking about fiber and carbs and sugar grams and fat grams.. this poor poor boy must truly be bored!!! oh Chris, keep the peanut butter i left, I'll get another jar.... it's this new peanut butter which is so so healthy, also made with flax seed and flax seed oils, it's high in fiber, low in sugar, low in carbs and the lowest in fat healthy peanut butter i found yet. Please Christina, remind me to make Drew his apple pie,......... cause i just don't want to sit on the "throne of lies". Oh and thanks for planning on accompanying me to Andrews next session next Friday, i sure appreciate it.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Kim, just a couple more weeks until the weekend away. I am so excited and so looking forward to it. Just watch....... life is going to try and keep us from going I just know it.
Andrew had another doctor appointment today, And there is good news and bad news. the good news is. the physical part of the brain is pretty much completely recovered. He is feeling better, and physically able to use the elliptical machine, and stay awake longer, and throw a football with his brothers.... and get on my nerves as only a 16 year old boy can. The bad news is............... the front part of his brain is healing much slower than they thought, and they need to look in other directions as to why this is happening. He goes tomorrow to be evaluated for a Vestibular rehabilitation program. there may have been some inner ear involvement with the head impact. Also they said....... " we cannot speed up the healing process from the concussion." UNDERSTAND Andrew IS getting better. 5 weeks ago, he couldn't walk a few steps without getting sick, 3 weeks ago, movement and reading made him sick. 2 weeks ago, he was able to move a little more without getting sick. 1 week ago. he could read 2 paragraphs of something without getting sick. This week. He is able to do the elliptical, and read a page or two before getting sick......... So there is improvement. But the boy needs to be able to do his school work. which i must say the Saltsburg School has been wonderful to work with, they are going to have a meeting with all of Andrews teachers on Thursday..... so they can work together and figure out a plan for Andrew. He has two tutors that come daily to help him... and they are looking into software that scans a text book, and then Andrew would be able to Listen to his assignments instead of reading them. the doctor would like him out of school until at least the end of November. The principal said maybe coming back after Christmas break would work for Andrew. Today driving through rush hour traffic, visiting the doctor, taking the "brain test" as Drew calls it, wore him out, he went to sleep before noon and is still sleeping 4 hours later.... this is NOT Andrew.
well enough of that. i should go eat one of my many many meals in a day. this Curves plan!!! I have chicken salad made with light mayo on a bed of veggies, i also have a meal of an apple and 3/4 oz of Cheddar cheese. and i have a meal of celery and flax seed peanut butter /no sugar to dip it in. which do i eat first??? oh decisions!!!!!!
Monday, October 15, 2007
I would like to get to Curves today, the bottom line is, i will look at my schedule and fit in Curves 3 times this week....... it is not a "try" but a "must. Although I did not eat tons of food this weekend, i did pick at some wrong foods. and I am looking forward to eating my lean protein, complex carbs, tons of veggies Curves eating plan this week.
Andrew has an appointment on Friday. He is improving greatly and is quickly becoming an annoying teenager.
Please keep my friend Kellie's son in prayer...... his pain is increasing, he goes this week for appointments. God Bless this family, they are praying, that when they get there, there will be room at the Ronald McDonald house or something like that, because the expense is taking its toll on this precious family. Nathan you are a beautiful little boy, hang in there buddy.
Well I think I'll get going, rest, do laundry, catch up on house work. although the family tries, it still needs a mom's touch, and i was non existent here this weekend.
Love to you all
Kimmie, won't be long now...........just a couple of weeks
Friday, October 12, 2007
Chris cannot go to Curves this morning. And I must say in my head, I keep saying.......or it's that dang "fat devil" saying..........." don't go to Curves this morning, you have such a busy day today. you have to leave to take Andrew to the doctors, and then you are going to help you bestest friend get ready for the wedding" and my poor healthy angel is saying ....
"come on Sandi, you leave for your appointment at 11:15am, go to Curves first thing this morning, you'll be back before you know it with plenty of time to get ready for the doctor appointment. If you don't go now.....YOU will NOT get there for 3 sessions this week. and that was your goal"....... Ah, these voices in my head. Does anyone else hear these voices too? So of course i plan on going to Curves....... I will get back on this morning before 11 am to tell you if I went or not. If i do go, this is a big step in recovering from the dip I've experienced as of late. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me also, I just want to try and make things as easy as possible so that Christina can enjoy her sons wedding and not have to "work" it..... Ahhhhhhhhh, Chris. Sunday will be here before you know it. I know you went from a crazy busy summer at the golf course, ...... directly into planning/cooking/baking/cleaning/preparing for this wedding. Soon my friend, you will get to enjoy some YOU time. at least that is my hope.
Well got to go, Have a great weekend......... it will be, if you decide to make it such!!!
Well, I am back from Curves. I did go....... and It was one of the hardest workouts I've ever done there.... my muscles actually "burned" during the last 5 seconds of each machine. When I was done.......... I could not go through one more circuit. Came home, made a 2 egg scramble with 1 serving of Turkey sausage, 1 slice of low fat Swiss cheese, and 1 slice of whole grain /flax/ fiber bread toasted.......... yummy!!! oh I also drank 16 oz of H2O. just in case Andrew wants to stop at a drive thru..... i am packing an apple and 1/2 sandwich........ baked ham, lettuce tomato and a "schmear" as Patti says of Light Mayo. So I won't be tempted.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
On the other hand, Patti Days have gotten easier No sugar yesterday, and No sugar today either. so what is that? 4 "Patti days" in a row...
For those who don't know, I met Patti and Kim years ago on a nutrition website called Calorie King. We first became cyber friends, oh how long ago......5+ years now?? I met Patti in person 3 years ago, (she lives in Arizona). And Kim, who used to live on the other side of the state, recently moved in the area, So we get together when we can. She is the one I am going on the Joyce Meyer road trip with. I can honestly say these women, are such dear friends, Sisters to me. It is so neat how people can meet from across countries and across states.... It is so Awesome to Watch God in action.......and how he intertwines peoples lives. I've meet a few other friends via this thing called a computer....... I met a dear friend who lives in Canada... She too was a part of Calorie King, She is friends with Patti and Kimmie also. and i must say I think my husband enjoyed her husband as much as i enjoy her.... So where am I going with this? oh yeah i remember..... Patti is a diabetic, and she has for years been trying to "get it all together". She spent a few years......can i say maintaining. and then recently I'd say the past year or so.. She finally GOT IT!!! and i mean this in a good way......... she doesn't obsess about food and weight loss, i mean she enjoyed the "Amish nut bread" every bit as much as the other person. She has learned to Live Healthy........ not BE on a diet. I must say the weight has dropped off bunches for her, she looks wonderful. And she is such a stickler about unnecessary sugars. so that is why i am giving that up , or at least trying to in her honor:0) Now Kimmie is jealous that i don't have a "Kim" day.... And honestly, if you know Kim ( i must remember Kim's mom reads my blogs sometimes) i am not so sure if i could handle "Kim days" too often. ahhhhh Gee i am thinking that i may have to start a Christina day after she reads this..........what to do????
Today i worked out really really hard at Curves....... my muscles feel it right now. And I feel those first few pounds that "quickly" come on the body after you stop eating right and exercising regularly tend to be more of a fluid/water fluctuation. and not actual fat lbs. because after just 4 days of this I already feel thinner.......if that makes any sense at all.
Well I am working right now..... and then i do that double back thing,..... so i come back to work tomorrow morning.. Still have some busy times coming up....... ah, will Sunday get here???
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Well i got to go get my whole grain flax seed bread with lean turkey breast, light mayo, lettuce, tomato's and onions ready to eat for Lunch.
I'll let you know how Curves was.
PS Kimmie, it won't be long now. looking forward to the road trip :0)
Friday, October 05, 2007
Just a few weeks before Kim and I take a road trip. I am looking forward to that. I need that now. To get away, to rejuvenate my body and spirit. to step away for a moment from what consumes me...... being a mother, a wife, a nurse, a taxi, a restaurant, a peace keeper, a housekeeper. A couple days to focus on me. That is not a bad thing is it ???
:Update on Drew, I do see improvement, he began home schooling on Tues, and I must say, he now realizes how much he "injured" his brain. last night he had such a major headache after tutoring. and he said he had a difficult time focusing on the task at hand. BUT he is improving, and he is doing exactly what the doctors say he should be doing. So I need to sit back, and have Faith, have faith that God put these doctors in Andrews life for a reason. have faith that they know what they are talking about. have Faith that God has his hand in this. what more do i need?
well i really should get moving here at work. the Kiski boys are starting to come in :0)
it is Friday, have a great weekend