Monday, November 30, 2009

bad bad bad children LOL

So my first attempt of getting photos of my kids for a christmas postcard failed. they kept goofing off, or I should say the boys kept goofing off, i quit trying!!! they knew i was angry so i am sure when i attempt this again, they won't make me cry in frustration!
This has been a wonderful long vacation weekend with my family~ if i could sum it up in one word, it would have to be CONTENT!!! I am so blessed that it scares me sometime, and maybe it isn't so much at what happens in my life, but how i look at things in my life. I've had my share of "issues" to say the least, and things aren't always easy, but God sure has a way of letting me know, he is still with me and in Control of every aspect of my life. The older i get, the more I seem to simplify my life. the more i live in the moment. I am learning to not let the World pull me under, and i must admit sometimes it is hard, (*four policemen shot to death while eating, a family member had thanksgiving dinner with his family, got up, went out to his car came back in with a gun,and shot his sister, his aunt, his young neice, to death....)a local girl just a little older than Katie, is fighting for her life, waiting for a new liver, just from too much Tylenol, another casual friends 8 year old nephew is in a coma on life support fighting for his life,i am remembering my nephew Alex who died 2 years ago, i am sure for his family it feels like yesterday.... I have to stay grounded, or it would overwelm me so much, I cannot control this world, but what i can do is not let it control me.
I truly dislike the first day of Deer season, i think it is just too dangerous, heck just where i live, out in the country is too dangerous. I look out my window, i can see spots of orange on the other side of the hill, and then i think...if a deer would run between us, he would be shooting in my direction!! Andrew goes out with his dad and grandpap, he is on family property, and his dad's cousins are pretty strict who is out there, and everyone knows where everyone else is located, so in that sense, it is safer, i just hold my breath alot and pray for a safe return. Sam could care less about hunting, Katie and a gun just scare me, although she does love to be called out to "gut" the deer that have been shot.
It is a cool rainy day, and i am here at work for a few hours just touching base here, as to what needs done, the office is actually closed, and i am actually in PJ's right now! think i'll head home after and watch some old Christmas movies, and wait to here from the great hunters

Saturday, November 28, 2009


it has been a Wonderful couple of day's, Thanksgiving was one of the best ones ever. The kids went to their grandparents for lunch, and Bill and i went to Christina and Larry's. it was just a warm comfortable time, no stress at all. i was able to eat a small plate of food. didn't taste every thing, but tasted everything i wanted to. ate slowly and enjoyed every bite. After lunch, Bill, me and the kids decided to go to the movies... the boys didn't think they wanted to see a Chick flick, so they went to see some movie with guns. Katie went with Us to see Blind Side..... One of the best movies i've ever seen. it was a feel good movie, lots of laughs as well as "feel good" tears. I definately plan on seeing this movie again. In light of losing my foster son Corey a couple of months ago, i was concerned that this movie would make me sad, or make me feel like i failed my boy. But on the contrary it did not. Instead in made me more aware than ever, that it took The young Man to WANT to succeed, as well as his MOM to push for him. it took both of them to make a success story out of an abused/neglected homeless boy. I came out of the movie, knowing that i did all that I could, and in Part Corey needed to want to succeed, to give a part of himself, that he wasn't able to do. After the movie, the boys had some friends over, and for our Thanksgiving Dinner, we stood around the bar/counter eating Pizza bites, and Chicken bites, laughing and talking and just enjoying family time.
without a doubt, Bill is the best "Dad" there is. Sammy and his friends wanted to go to Black Friday so bad, I wasn't gonna touch that request. But Bill, with a smile, got up at 4am, took (3) 14 year old boys shopping, He stayed in town for 4 hours waiting for them to get done, just so he would be "around" if something happened. brought them back home, all with huge smiles on their faces..... I told Christina, she better NOT hear me complain about Bill for one week LOL.
I must say I did not feel well at all yesterday, at first in the morning i actually thought I was coming down with something, i had a sore throat, body aches, ... and by surprise, I got an incredible Light show, actually could not see for about 20 minutes. the bad thing is, i did not have my Maxalt which prevents the migraine from occuring. and my doctor's office was closed, i do not take Oral pain medication as a rule, esp. Mortrin or any other anti inflamatory because of having the LapBand. So I did what i could do, went to bed to see if I could sleep it off.... i did sleep, but it hurt even in my sleep.... and i woke up to a full fledged Migraine Headache!!! I was still perplexed as to why I got one, being that they only come around "THAT TIME" for me... well low and behold, "THAT" came too. so at bedtime i had a massive headache, and nasty cramps... and sinus congestion. I took a dose of Nyquil. and boom i was sleeping before i knew it......... I woke up this AM feeling weak, tired, but much better that yesterday. I think i will still take it easy today too. Family is supposed to get together for Thanksgiving at 2pm, i still may go. Bill has been wonderful, i am getting coffee in bed, breakfast in bed, he cleaned the house, rubbed my feet with lotion, taking care of the suppers.... ahh I am a blessed blessed woman.
Well time to get off this computer for now. I recommend EVERYONE go and see the Blind Side....... you won't regret going

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

My own young wolf....

the title will only mean something to those who are familiar with the second book in the twilight series, New Moon. I just know that Sammy must be half man, half wolf, he's got to be, that is the only logical answer. He is getting so big, so muscular, sometimes i wonder if he will have a neck when all is said and done! When He was 11 he wore a size 11 shoe, 12 a size 12 shoe and so on..... He can only get in a size 15 on certain brands of shoes. He will be 15 a few days before Christmas. I am going to assume that now his body will catch up to his shoe size. Andrew is tall, with lean muscles, Sam is getting tall, but he is bulky and defined and he isn't even trying yet. And feeding him is another topic all together, He can't seem to eat enough. those teenage boys!!! I took the above picture this morning.... even at 6:45am these two are best buds and quite pleasant (can you tell?) Things are going really well here and there is a level of peace here for the boys that is difficult to explain. I spent so much time trying to keep peace with Bill and the boys and Corey. I know though they are NOT ready to bring in any more foster children at this time. If i am going to do that again, i will wait until these ones are raised and gone. it wouldn't be fair to anybody. If i lived alone, i know i could take in a few problem teenagers~but i am not alone! and my decisions affect everybody in the household. I think i did the opposite esp. with Andrew. for instance, he could have easily got his driver license before he was 18, BUT Corey wasn't even near ready. so i didn't want to let Andrew do it either. I checked ALL my boys computer history. Corey always got in trouble with Porno and such *since he came at 12. but everyone suffered because the computer was shut down at night. the last time the computer crashed completely.. he told us Andrew was on... well it was determined he was signed into his myspace last, and later we found printed out Pornographic pictures. However everyone got in trouble because at the time we couldn't prove anything. Sam and Drew never complained, and never once mentioned how unhappy they were. they just left alot, spent alot of time at their dads or their bedroom.(*i thought it was a teen boy thing) it was only after Corey chose to leave, did they even mention how difficult it had been especially the last year or two. it was only then that Sam said it was okay to let him come back, but he'd go live with his dad.
They are 100% happier. One week after it was official that Corey left..... the agency called and wanted us to take in 3 more children..... ummm don't think so. Sammy said NO right away as well as Bill.......... Now how did i get back on this subject again??? it took a couple months to deal with it, but i am definitely doing well. Corey was dealt a crappy hand, but there isn't anything i can do to change that. he has now been in 11 homes, i was his 9th. i tried for 5 years the rest of his homes lasted less than a year.. i did the best that i could. He will be 18 this week, and he hasn't been back to school since he left here for good... something about a head issue, where he feels great enough to be on facebook and myspace for 6 hrs a day (per his friends at school) but can't come to school cause the computer makes him dizzy. his new mom is sweet but clueless, she told me the other day, he does so well and just when she thinks he can go back to school, the day of the doctor appointment.....he gets dizzy again, and needs to take another month off. Corey needs a strong hand..... I just wanted to see him graduate! but yet again it isn't my deal anynmore......
Gee i only work today, well today, and i'll take one day to clean.....maybe Friday. it will be nice.
I spoke with Patti briefly yesterday, and i promised her i'd call after we see the Blind side. she was just getting ready for a manicure and a pedicure. she hadn't had one in so long. i beat her though...... I haven't had one in 42 years. yep never had one :0). maybe before i am 50!
Hope that everyone has something to be thankful for ~ take time to enjoy the moment!
:Love and Blessings

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Picture this.........

Last week, i am walking up the few steps leading from the office to the waiting area where I work, I have a handful of charts, and well, i know it is easy to fall down steps, but it takes a bit of talent to fall up the steps.... which i, and gracefully so did. I hit just below my rt knee where it crashed into one of the steps, my elbow skidded across the carpet floor, the charts went every where, and my head landed on the shoe of one of the clients. Not an issue, my leg "ached" all day, my elbow had an abrasion. My dignity remained intact, cause stuff like that just doesn't bother me.... fast forward two days, i am cleaning out my little refrigerator in my room, so i am on my knees, and i notice below my right knee, it tingled and then became numb. I notice a bruise located just below my knee, i took my finger and from mid shin to the knee, i move my finger along the bruise, and i experienced the coolest sensation as i roll my finger up to my knee.... it felt like something was crawling down on the side to my ankle, it didn't hurt....but felt so freaky weird, it does it EVERY time i touch there. and if i apply pressure to the spot just below my knee, my lower leg gets tingly and then goes numb. Christina thinks i should get this checked out, i don't know, it isn't painful, i can walk on it without any issue, i told her if this is still going on i may check after the holiday. I have fallen from trees, played softball, basketball, and volleyball, i've hiked, and tripped dozens of times and i have NEVER felt anything like this, never.
Thursday Bill and I are going to eat Thanksgiving lunch at Christina's, the kids will be going to their Dad's parents at lunch. and then i think we are all going to the movies and just enjoying "US" as a family. Bill and Katie want to see the Blindside ( i think that is the name) but it looks like a feel good movie.
What else, oh Christina and I are planning on fixing up the field house with a gym of sorts, treadmill, elliptical, weight machines, free weights, exercise balls, workout video's and tons more. it is a huge room, and family will be able to use it with us, or Chris and I can work out together., so if we see Johnny weekly, and we can't get back to the gym....... we'll have one right here...
well i should go sweep the house before Bill and Tornado Sam get back... i'll chat more later. I would like to talk a little about Holiday eating with the lapband. i sure have to eat slow now...... and my food intake is easily cut in half right now... so if i don't eat through the lapband, i will be okay. How do i eat "through". easy......wait an hour, then eat a little more, wait an hour and eat a little more..... it adds up if i am not careful.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

~*~ hiking and the bald Eagle

So i did get to go for a hike yesterday, Christina and I, Juneau and Dixie. at first i was worried about Christina's grandpuppy coming, she can get pretty bitchy at times, esp with other dogs. Christina could easily be a dog whisperer, she doesn't get nervous around dogs at all, so she wanted to try. she also took into consideration that MY one hundred and thirty pound wolf of a dog, has the most gentle spirit i've ever seen in a dog. Chris was right the dogs were fine. We hiked at Conemaugh, doing the 4 mile loop. Dixie, never slowed down, so coming back to the car, juneau and i where walking slightly behind, I look up in the tree's and i was shocked to see the bald eagle, he was low enough, and as a rule unless an Eagle is high enough to be a part of the wind current, they do not soar, not like a buzzard or other type of Birds of Prey. i haven't seen one in a while, and per the forest rangers that are at conemaugh, they do not have nests in the area, and only come to the river during summer months to fish. well maybe they do have a nest around. by the time Christina came back to where i was standing, the bird was too far away to see it. so we continue on our way. . . well a few hundred yards before we got to the car, while crossing a bridge, i look up and there is an eagle, pretty high up, and he was soaring...... i was SO excited, Christina saw this one. and she was thrilled, but not nearly as thrilled as me LOL. ( hey i love Eagles) I have no idea if it was the same one, and he came back just for Christina to see him too. Or, was it another one, and if that is the case, then there just may be a nest around. any rate, i was happy to see him, and now i want to go hike again, and more often.
Well i felt pretty good afterwards, not too sore, Juneau is beat. but i think i'll go this morning.

Monday, November 16, 2009

So easily distracted......

yesterday morning, Bill decided to take me and Christina to the gym, he loves taking me places, he figured he could drop me off at the gym's door, and come back 1/2 hour later. Andrew also decided to go too, just to observe Johnny working with Christina and I. So we get about 5 minutes away from the gym,......... and I get a text from Johnny, a "massive headache". ( i think a massive hangover). Christina jokingly say's, gee i think we should just go for pancakes!!!, Didn't take any more pursuation than that. we decided to skip the gym, and go for breakfast, it was actually a very nice time. one, i can't do pancakes, and two, i don't like "sweet" for breakfast. but i did have 1/2 of an omlette. Andrew came home from a friends early in the morning JUST to go see John, at first he wasn't too happy, BUT, he Loves his Christina so that made up for it. Ever since a couple years ago, when Andrew had that severe concussion, HE and Christina became really good buddies. He really does adore her, all my kids do.
Okay seriously, we could have gone to the gym, but having breakfast isn't a big deal. But I do really need to make exercise a priority! it is so easy to get out of a groove. so therefore i NEED to get back in it. NO EXCUSES! I think I am doing well with my eating, but i have to have both of the equations, I need both exercise and diet to be in "harmony" with plan. yeah i know that I am busy, yeah i know i work alot, but still. Today I am going for a hike with Juneau, I told Bill to take the Jeep so that i can have the old tracker......or what i call the Dog Taxi, cause i won't put a muddy 130 lb dog in my new Jeep. I'll give Christina a call at 8am to see if she wants to go. She has been busy too, or at least we are busy at different times. But i can't use the excuse, Christina can't do it? or Johnny can't do it... I CAN walk wihtout Chris, and I can go to the gym without Johnny. besides, not only do I have access to Johnny, i have unlimited access to the gym, and Yoga class, and Aerobics class, and Zumba class and Pilaties class. I have a high end Eliptical machine as well as an entire "gym" in my own home. I live right in the center of dozens of Trails...... no excuse Sandra Marie ;0)
Well i should get the house in order, think i am going to make a meatloaf for supper tonight, and then i want to get my schedule out and plan my exercise for the week. I will write it in.....and see if i can keep myself accountable.
On a last note........ i had a WONDERFUL day yesterday. there is so much peace and calmness in my home, i can't even explain it, but it is there. I am happy!!!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

~> the only one!!!!

Yesterday i call the Pittsburgh Office where i go for my Lapband, so i could reschedule for a much needed adjustment~ so i call and the receptionist hesitantly responses with ....." oh we aren't scheduling anyone for lapband adjustment right now!" i say that I guess it's difficult with Mike gone. she proceeds to tell me that not only did Mike leave, but so did Tara and the one that was doing the adjustments was in a car accident!!! I immediately asked if He was okay ? and then i just said, well it is way more important that he is okay, than me getting an adjustment, there is a brief silence on the other end, and then I am told out of many many many people calling in, I was the ONLY one that didn't get upset or show frustration. How sad is that? It isn't like i am having cancer treatments, or major illness treatments postponed. Its a Lapband People........ just a lap band adjustment...... i told her I wish Bill (who was in the accident) the best, and I'll pray that everything is okay. I guess they had a major meeting yesterday to decide what can be done, and they think I'll get the adjustment hopefully end of this year, or first of next year. WHAT WILL BE, WILL BE!!!
as in previous blogs you can tell, that my band is still giving me restriction, granted, not as much as it was a month or so ago. And ultimately I am responsible for my weight loss, not a piece of plastic. oh and Patti, i appreciate what you said in your blog yesterday... because with the lapband, i must exercise, and monitor what I eat, the lapband does nothing on it's own. And if someone out there is thinking about a lapband as a magic way to lose weight, you are going to be so disappointed, cause let me tell you it is hard work.
So the lapband does prevent me from eating the quantity of food at one time, but it is easy to eat over the lapband restrictions, by waiting a little, even as short as thirty minutes, and then eating again, and snacking alot in between. so i will have to make a conscious effort to eat 3 meals and one small snack, and i am REALLY going to have to get a better exercise routine going..... If I was to have an adjustment now, i would have, so i just figure that i'll trust that it isn't something I am supposed to have right now, and i am more than okay with that.
Well, i better get going, i think i am going to have a long day at work... and i want to get there early, because i have a feeling with me on Vacation, things have piled up.
Have a great day

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Vacation and living with the Lapband

First let me tell you...... i had a wonderful, much needed vacation with my husband. He took me down South to visit his sister, (whom i love dearly) and visit some quaint historical southern towns. let me rewind back to Friday...... as i was heading out the door for my appointment in Pittsburgh, i get a phone call and they had to cancel my appointment. for a spit second disappointment, and then i just figured it would be better that i didn't. because, i was going to get a 1cc adjustment, which would mean a good 24 to 72 hrs of liquids, to soft to regular. and IF there was any problem after the adjustment, i would have been over 500 miles away. so it just worked better. time wasn't wasted though,..... and let me rewind further,...... on Wednesday i get a phone call from the high school, Andrew had injured his ankle, and he couldn't walk on it, so i arranged for him to get an Xray in which his grandparents took him......... i found out Thursday that, there was indeed something wrong with his ankle and he needed to see a specialist, so fast forward back to Friday...... i called to schedule him an appointment for the next week, HOWEVER as luck would have it, they had an opening at 10:30 am, on that very day... i took it........... so long story short, Andrew has a broken ankle!!!, all is well, and i don't even sweat a broken ankle, after going through head injuries, and total facial reconstructions....... ankle is doable!!!

AND for the big news, I dropped 3lbs over the mini vacation, and food was not the focus, and i didn't even think about it. Bill and I used to "snack" during the entire road trip, well we stopped to eat a healthy meal every 3 or 4 hours, and since i can't do fast food well, we picked places where i could order a normal meal. we did take some almonds and apples, and water, ... but that was about it. I told Bill, that i didn't realize how much i've changed, until i really thought about it. I could eat normal meals, could not finish any plate, but ate all kinds of food.
Only had one issue coming home, we left about 4am, and stopped at about 7 am for breakfast at IHOP, i love the multi grain pancakes, but just a taste, i am not a pancake person, hate sweet anything for breakfast, so i ordered an omelet, with a side of the harvest grain pancake..... i should know by now that i am too tight in the mornings this early to eat much of anything, so i took a bite, maybe two, maybe three..... and then i got "stuck", i felt worse before, but still i wasn't comfortable, i sat there about ten minutes, no luck, went to the bathroom to spit the much built up saliva, did some stretches, spit some more..... and after about 15 minutes more, i got it moving again, i was able to eat 1/4th of the omelet, and about 1/2 of the pancake... plenty, and it kept me totally full until we ate again at 2pm., Bill and I laughed remembering the last time we were at an IHOP, which was a while ago,.... i ate the entire omelet, 2 of the pancakes, and was ready to eat again two hours later, even while i snacked the entire time between those two hours... wow times have changed, photos of Bill and I are tolerable to see now, they came out blurry, or i blinked, or something like that, but i couldn't help noticing how much i am changing........ slow and steady........ I am so happy :0)
tomorrow I'll call and reschedule for my adjustment, I'd like to have it done before the holidays come in full swing.... i think it will help even more.
no matter where i go....... there is NO PLACE LIKE HOME, good night

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Life as it is~~~~

Well, football is over, class for DBT training is over, and it looks like my schedule is working out pretty good. didn't enjoy any of this yet though, Katie had the flu, i took her to the Urgent care unit that just opened for IMRC. The ER doctor said it is more than likely the N1 H1, she ran a fever, and the chills body ached so bad she didn't want to move, sore throat, head ache, nausea and vomiting, out of the criteria they were looking at she had ALL the symptoms.She is miserable sick, and she is a VERY difficult patient, she doesn't like to be "cooped" up, but i must say she was so sick this time, she didn't care, she slept, drank, and took her medications. She likes me around though, she is 20 and still wants her mom there when she is sick, drives me nuts :-). although she gets tired fast, i must say she is feeling much better.
Andrew's last football game was Friday, and at the last minute i decided to let Katie home for a few hours, i mean really what could i do for her? So proud of Andrew, i love watching him play. Sammy's last game was Thursday, and they were undefeated this season, Sam had two touch downs, and tons of one man tackles, to beat the only other undefeated team. He'll be fun to watch next year too.
Sat early in the morning, Bill and I will be heading somewhere...... just to get a away for a few days, we will be back on Tuesday night. I love road trips, and i really could use a break.
I went to the gym on Sunday, and my body still is feeling it. I hate when i go alone for the very reason that he doesn't take his eyes off of me...... can't sneak a second in anywhere. He is really pushing me to get up there more, and he is right. and there are no excuses......... just gotta do it!!!
Friday i go for another Lapband adjustment, and i definitely need one now, no doubt, oh i am not gaining any weight or anything, but i can eat too much carbs without a major issue. so i'll get the adjustment just before i head for a mini vacation, so i guess food will not be an issue.
Not sure if Chris and I are heading to the gym today, it may be later, think she had to take her mom to an appointment this morning. but Thursday is a definite for me. today I am car less, so if Chris doesn't go, guess I'll do the elliptical for 30 minutes.....
Well i should get my butt off this computer chair, and do something with this house.
Have a great day today.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Is this better Patti???

my dear friend Patti called me today, and told me that my blog was coming up all Jumbled with titles crossing over with each other, from my computer, i didn't notice. so does this work better Patti.?
I will blog tomorrow morning, have so much to say, so tune in tomorrow.