Thursday, November 27, 2008


Today has been a really wonderful relaxing day. I don't cook on this day. I go to my brothers so all i needed to make was apple strudel and pumpkin mousse pastry. Bill worked, Albert took the 4 kids to their annual turkey trot walk.
I really try to be thankful daily, it sometimes is difficult, but i work at it. I don't really need a special day....... to remind me. I love my family and i love the simplicity of my home and my life.
I spent a few hours at Christina's yesterday...... it is a home filled with lots of laughter and love too..... it was us "girls" Christina, Megan, Jeanine, Me and the newest little female life into the circle of women, Paige. I had the terrible job of holding the baby while Megan finished up her pies and Christina started hers......... i am not being prejudice at all, but this baby is SO beautiful...... and such a little personality already. Tomorrow is our second annual breakfast at Chris' house........ my family and her family...... lots of laughing and maybe guitar hero or a game or two.
I do love this life of mine, and am so blessed, with my husband, my kids, my friendships...... my jobs!
Well i ate breakfast, and lunch like normal, I do NOT want to over eat at Aggies, so i will have my small plate and fill it normally once...... and i will eat it very slowly, I am really trying to work on all the "rules" of the trade, to eat with the Lap band. I would like to continue to lose a pound a week from now until the first of the year like I have been doing....... there is no reason why i can't
Have a great weekend........ Kimmie looking forward to seeing you Sat. I did get called to work for Sat morning....... so i may be a little groggy most of the day...... nothing unusual.........

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

i met the surgeon

well it started in April, after my second hospital stay in a month, when my doctor first mentioned "tools" to help me with my weight loss ..... he was like "....Sandi, you are only 40 years old, you've been in the hospital seriously ill twice....... maybe you should just look into the gastric band to help you eat smaller portions........" well Hell, i didn't want to hear that...but it was planted in a far corner of my brain... May came and went........still planted, ........ i finally decided to at least "water" the little bugger...... so i prayed, and investigated, prayed some more and investigated..... June i decided to at least go to the seminar. and I also felt in my heart that i wanted Dr. Courcoulas to do it, not an associate, but Dr. Courcoulas (she actually has gone across the country teaching other doctors how to do this surgery). Bill and i went to the Informative seminar, and it just so happened the date i picked was the date that DR. Courcoulas would be teaching it..... And things started to fall in place.. and then God saw fit that i would be accepted into the study group with the more intense interactions.. (many say that is the luck of the draw... nah.... Luck had nothing to do with it). I began my meetings on July 7th, ... and now i see or talk to my diet coach every week..... and Finally 8 months later i meet my surgeon. Aimee my coach said that they try to work it out that who ever teaches the informative meeting is usually the one that does the surgery on you.-~~~ again NO Luck involved here.
After spending two hours in Pittsburgh, seeing two doctors, they thought I'd be a great candidate for the lap band procedure. and i know my dearest friends are going to laugh.....but she really thought i had a strong grasp on the subject, and had a very realistic view on the surgery....she said i seemed to be well grounded......... I immediately liked her.... she walked in , shook my hand....... sat down and the first words out of her mouth were......" this isn't magic, you can gain weight with the lap band, you could eat all day if you wanted to........ It ,(meaning the lap band) cannot work unless you work with it) She was also thrilled that i was chosen for the PREP study, and i was one of the subjects that was doing the long term treatment..... she said i was so "lucky" to get that, and that learning how to eat a BIG BIG positive in the future success of my surgery. So I finish two more months of diet prep, I have to make a consult with Psychiatric and Dietitian......... she was pleased that my PCP has already done several of the testing I needed. And then we will schedule surgery....... i think it will be sometime in February.......maybe March......... this Journey has no time frame........

Today is a Johnny day at the gym, Sunday Chris and I did a 4 mile hike... and without getting into detail.......... umm, there are more than just "bears" that poop in the woods........ and that is ALL i am going to say

Hi to my GG's, looking forward to seeing Kim on Saturday.. so Chris be ready after lunch to do a little hike........oh wait we cant go on Sat....... we'll have to go on Sunday before she leaves if you have time in the morning....... opps, NOT a good idea to hike in the woods in Western Pennsylvania during Deer Hunting Season.......... i am just sayin'


okay Christina has brought 2 things to my attention, one.... i should just say it was I that got really bad stomach cramps two mile into the hike..... almost made it home....... almost.... and i needed to stay near my bathroom the entire evening.

and i got a little confused, big surprise there. Deer Season does NOT start until Monday, so this weekend will be we can go on a nice hike on Saturday.... sometimes even i wonder about Me :o).

Friday, November 21, 2008

Remebering Alex

I am thinking a lot about how Alex's family must be feeling, his mom and dad and brother and sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends. Early tomorrow morning it will be one year since his accident..... I will pray that you find peace somehow......

Mercy Me ...... Homesick
you're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
and at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why i am broken, the reason why i cry
Is how long I must wait for you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If homes where my heart is , then I am out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why, i wonder if I'll ever know
But even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause i am still here, far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is , then I am out of place
Lord won't you give me the strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ there are no goodbyes
And in Christ there is no end
So I'll hold on to Jesus with all that I have
to see you again
to see you again

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is, then I am out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to to make it through somehow
won't you give me strength to make it through some how
won't you give me strength to make it through some how

I've never been more homesick than now

I can't even imagine what it is like to want to hug and talk to your child so bad, that it makes you almost crazy with the pain of not being able too.

Thanksgiving is next week, lets not worry what the economy is doing, or what the government is doing....... lets thank our good Lord for Our Loved ones, and for the simple joys in life. Like I've said before Bob and Gail would give up their home, job, car, everything they have to have their family whole again...... God Bless You guys.......

Thursday, November 20, 2008

This and That

So a 4 mile hike and a Johnny workout DO NOT GO TOGETHER on the same day.. I am just sayin' We've been going to the gym with Johnny for about a month now.........and he never gives us the same workout twice... i thought maybe he'd go easy on me yesterday, as i proceeded to explain to him that Chris and I had a tougher than normal "hike", just maybe we wouldn't have to do any side step lunges, or squats or walking lunges.......... just maybe, well i was W.R.O.N.G. We work so hard, and he is such a stickler about our form and how we do each exercise, he watches how we stand, checks to make sure we are holding the abdominal muscles in....... we don't talk to each other, we don't joke around........we work. he is so serious about what he does. There is another trainer there who lets say if you would see him, he doesn't look like a personal trainer, I watch him with his client, and he sits there and talks about the weather, and what he watched on TV last night........ Heck i couldn't talk to john or Christina even if i wanted too.

I am here at Kiski today, we are supposed to get alot of snow tonight, which will make an interesting journey to the Methadone Clinic tomorrow at 4am, don't think the snow plows will be out yet either........ well i can do what I can do.......and I'll just pray that I'll get there safe and sound. I do love that job but so much much!!! I used to get nervous and worried, but not anymore.........the worst that could happen is they tell me I am not right for the job......and I work Kiski more :0). Not a problem.

I have my past medical records that are needed, I have my weight history with photos ready, so i have to get my medicine that i take written down........ which i am only on one little blood pressure pill and vitamins so that will be easy, and a Medical Family History needs to be i'll do that today and then I am set. I will not get my surgery date this visit, only after i complete the 6 month study will they schedule me, So that will be in January. and i am really Not in a hurry either, so when it will be, it will be........ I've long since placed this in God's hands..... so i don't need to think about the details to much.

Well think i am going to get some more of my work done.......... my shift will be over before i know it....... have a great weekend

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Christina the trooper ~^~

well, i get a text message from one of the lady hikers, she wants to let me know that it IS snowing, and she might just go crawl into bed (she works night shift) and then i get a phone call from lady hiker #2, she has a sore throat and thinks she should stay in this morning...... But Christina the trooper, was going to brave it out. She really needed the second cup of coffee, and the "bathroom" break, so that the previous walking day would not be duplicated, although i must say, and this picture doesn't do it justice as we walked in falling snow for the first mile and 1/2. put some of her Medusa type hairdo in place....... her hair Was NOT touched and i can verify that.... We Hiked about 4 miles, and we went on a different trail, i forgot how hard this was.... its up and down, wide paths, , thin paths through the woods. when we first started, the snow was falling in soft thick flakes, ...BEAUTIFUL!!! the path leads down a steep hill......(opps we then must walk back up the steep hill to get back to the car) at the bottom of the hill there is a wooden bridge that is build over a trickling stream, that goes directly into a tunnel,........ immediately through the tunnel is a small pond, this path has so much neat stuff, there are these old brick buildings that are in ruins that have prob. been there for 75 to 100 years . the one other picture is of an old coal topple, i can look at it and imagine it working 100 years ago, dumping coal into boats to transport it down river.............
Needless to say......... we kept walking, and finally realized after 2 miles that we should turn around.......... so it was a 4 mile hike. Louie went with Us, and he was as happy as can be. Thanks Christina for being a trooper, I know that I can count on you rain or snow..... to get me out there on the trail......
Meeting with life coach Aimee in a half hour, appointment with my doc at 1pm, and then appointment with trainer Johnny at 4:30.
Oh KATIE my wonderful daughter is going to go with me to the docs today.... I love that girl SOOOOO much, and I am SO lucky to have a daughter like her.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

***Well Darth Vader I will NOT be***

No raspy breathing for me through a mask at night. I had the results of my second sleep study today...... and there is not one episode of sleep apnea, or serious drop in O2 levels. they said that I do have periods of snoring.....loud snoring, and that my family doctor needs to follow thru, because i do wake up throughout my sleep , and they can not detect as to what wakes me up..... i am still betting sinus drainage pooling in the back of my throat, they told me to check to see if i may have Nocturnal GERD..... i spent 70 % of my night sleeping on my back, and the doctor was happy that i did that, cause that really brings out the sleep apnea... the tech that spoke to me said the Doctor can't believe i am 100 lbs over weight, have 4 /4 siblings that have been diagnosed with Sleep apnea........ and i don't show one single episode.......... Such a healthy "fat" girl here :0).
I picked up more of my health records today..... and I was on the low abnormal anemic, at one point my D levels were low. i have a fatty liver, normal gallbladder, heart, pancreas......etc
I am NOT showing signs of Peri menopause yet.... I am not pre diabetic if there is such a thing.....( i heard a doctor today say that pre diabetic just means high normal glucose levels, )

lets see what else did i find out by reading my records...... oh yeah i can't forget, I am a very pleasant cooperative morbidly obese white female, with many children......... oh but the best thing that i found out was that my father died young at age 52 from heart disease, but i am glad to know that My mother is alive and well........ where did they get that???? i wasn't even on Demerol while I was in the hospital.

I have been feeling so good, finding more and more energy... today after work at the methadone clinic, and traveling to gather my medical records, i came home and thought i'd nap, i did for 35 minutes, woke up feeling wide awake and refreshed....... go figure...

Dr. Courcoulas on Monday.......... almost here

Monday, November 17, 2008


Did you ever run into someone and immediately know that they did NOT get out of bed on the "happy" side..... well this morning i met Christina to go for our hike. and well actually the second I looked at her, I truly felt that i was going to turn into Stone......... I am just sayin'..... I think the first words out of her mouth, with teeth clenched, picture this....... " IF I WASN'T GOING TO BE MEETING ANYONE TO WALK TODAY, I WOULD NOT HAVE COME!!!" again i am just sayin'. Chris obviously did not have a good nights sleep, but a nice brisk walk with me and Judy on a trail in the snow.......perfect mood stabilizer, ..... i just got off the phone with her...... and she sounds so happy, maybe it's seeing that grand baby of hers :0) oh Chris you know i love ya more than my lungage
So any how made more phone calls to prepare for my first appointment with Dr. Coucoulas next Monday..... tomorrow i will pick up all of my records that would pertain to my digestive system and all over health. time seems to be flying by....... and i am still chugging along. I know that i 've been working on this for over 5 months.......... But I don't think i can say it "clicked" yet....... i think you can only say that after a good year of good habits......... I am so happy and content though
i go to work tomorrow at the Methadone Clinic, my boss called she is so sick, and the other main nurse other than me is so sick....... hard to believe that i am still holding on from getting this....... better keep up on my probiotics, Vit C, and B vitamins....... drinking green tea, extra fluids, and getting rest.......... I really am feeling good..........
Well i better go finish supper, Bill will be home soon...... barbeque bacon meatloaf, scalloped potato's, and veggies. I'll have my small designated plate and fill it half with veggies, one fourth with meatloaf, and one fourth with fruit..... i'll skip the potato's....... and i will eat really really slow, with my teeth and all

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Winter ???

Just before the sun set at like 4:30, i looked outside and there was so much snow, big huge flakes.....ground covered absolutely beautiful! So i made myself a cup of Holiday Chi spice tea w a little vanilla chi spice creamer.. delicious...... and i enjoyed the view for ten minutes before it turned totally dark out.

Still not sure what to make of the head ache it is there but dull, so hopefully a good nights sleep will do it. I actually have a day off tomorrow too.. and then its back to work tues, thurs, friday, saturday....... and then i see a break coming.......... cause Kiski will be on Thanksgiving Break for 10 days. so i'll just have the Methadone clinic to do.

Well i think i am going to try to call Kim and Patti this evening...... don't wait by the phone ........but i really am going to try.

Christina, no matter what the weather is like i am walking tomorrow, are you ????

choose one out of three.....

okay i woke up at 3:24 am with a pounding headache .... is it from the pressure changes outside since the temp dropped from 57 to 33 over night? .......... is it a sinus headache since i have so much sinus drainage? or did I "miss the light show" in my sleep? and is this Migraine fest November??? gosh i hope and pray that it is one of the first two. BUT this is the exact time frame from last months migraine in correlation to my cycle. I think i will go lie in bed for a while, after I take some aspirin... and see.
So quickly, Kimmie i saw i missed your call late last night..... i put my phone on silent went i am at work......forgot to one, take the phone out of my purse and two ,forgot to turn it back on ring..... lets just say that i missed several calls, and one offer to dinner yesterday......sorry bro :0) it WOULD have been nice not to cook .
and umm Kim i was just thinking from yesterdays post,........ Cheaters laundry....... doing laundry enough to get by for 3 or 4 days....... umm, Kimmie well there are six of us...... therefore, that IS my normal laundry load.
wow........ gotta go get that Aspirin now

Saturday, November 15, 2008

so this is a computer

i just noticed that i didn't even get on the computer today..... and if i did yesterday, it was just for a moment! I worked today at 4:15am got home at 11 am, and the kids were ready to go to the mall. so........ off to the mall i went, came home......... and Katie wanted to go visit Paige, she got her the cutes little Penguin outfit....... came home again..... and started housework, and getting dinner i am going to my bedroom to dust sweep and change the sheets..........I want to have everything done this tomorrow i can just chill, it is supposed to be cold and rainy tomorrow........a good day to read a book in front of the fireplace, maybe watch an old movie.... oh and do laundry...... i gotta do laundry... Kim, what type of laundry do you do if you don't have the time...... the quick kind??? maybe I'll do that :0).
went walking yesterday, but did not get to the gym........ Friday was the one day of the month that just wouldn't work.......ummm without getting into detail.
well sitting here isn't going to get my bedroom cleaned........... so i should really really get going

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Just Curious

as to what last nights sleep study will show? The last time i woke up so refreshed, i could tell i slept well. This morning i woke up groggy!!! so i am really curious to see what happens. I don't want to use a bipap machine BUT i want to feel good , esp in this journey to better health, so if lack of Oxygen is causing my metabolism to be sluggish, and affecting how i feel through out the day...... why wouldn't I, Now if the reports say that i still am not showing any signs of losing O2 at night, then i can rest easy. i am just glad that i had two different experiences at the Sleep Center.
I need to call my doctors office today to let them know that I will be needing copies of some of my test over the past year to take to Dr. Courcoulas. I already worked on my time line, and now i will do a brief summary of my family health history. I feel surgery will take place in January or February.....
Oh while going through some paperwork from past hospital visits...... I have lost 34 lbs since February when i decided to take the bull by the horns. i am sure going to Pittsburgh weekly has helped me to stay on track for almost 5 months :0).
Well Johnny decided, so he says, to up the "notch" so to speak on our work out.........umm Chris and I just looked at each other, because we thought we have been working umm "UP THAT NOTCH" since we started . He is so good, and I must say from the moment we walk in the door to the moment we step is less than 40 minutes ....
today is the ladies hike.......... think there will be 3 of Us.... and i am going to wear my pedometer to measure approx how far we go
Oh speaking of which i better get dressed, I am not going to shower first, so i go with goo all through my hair.......
wow and then i am home for the day........what is up with that :-)

Monday, November 10, 2008


it sure was chilly this morning for our walk. But a nice walk it was. we went about 4 miles. There were four of Us, we met at one part of the trail, all got into a van, and drove to the end of the trail......... walked back to where the other car was parked, and then we drove Judy back to her van. it was nice to explore the walking trail this way without having to double back. Today we had a "guest" visitor, Christina's sister in law who had the day off, but one of the other ladies didn't make it. We were talking that if this keeps up its going to be a regular "walking" club starting.... it is nice and safer to walk with a group.

Today I am here at Kiski, and tomorrow morning I go to the Methadone Clinic, going to try and stay awake all day tomorrow...... go work out at the gym with Johnny...... and then go back for my sleep study. Weds we are scheduled to walk again, and then i have a phone meeting with my diet coach..... at least i don't work on wednessday.....

I am getting ready to have my first Consult meeting with Dr. Courcoulas, it is just two weeks away. I need to get a hold of a few records from my family doctor. and i am in the process of figuring a time line for the many stages of weight that i have been all of my life, I pulled out the photo album to help me figure this out. I didn't have a weight issue until after i started having children, oh i was never skinny skinny... i always had the hour glass curves....... And then the weight started to slowly appear, mainly in the hips and thighs, they say that is a "safer" way to carry fat! not sure there is a "safe" way to carry all of this excess weight. Come to think of it i guess by scale standards i was always heavy, here is a pic of me weighing about 180 in a size 10 dress.... ----------------------------------->

So realistically i am not going to get to 140 or 150, if i didn't do it when i was 19 and working at a gym 5 days a week. I am NOT going to do it as a 41 year old that goes to the gym twice a week. But I am confident that I will get healthy again, and i am confident that i will look fine.... but more and most importantly....i am confident that i will feel G.R.E.A.T.!!!

so i picked pictures to go with my weight at various stages of my life. And now i have to figure out when i went on Weight Watchers, 4 different starts. When i did Curves, When i did Calorie King, when i did Atkins when i did slim fast, when i did the grape fruit diet, ......... wow a lot of info to figure into a timeline.

Haven't heard from my lung study test yet, not sure when i will, my goal is to really work hard as to NOT get sick this winter.......... this is my goal! so we shall see, well i think i am going to get going for now, have some work that I should do.

Hi Patti, those nephews of yours are so Cute, I never did get to congratulate you for getting the position.......guess God wants you to do it huh???
Hi Kim, ........keep up the good work, and enjoy the journey. you are doing so well.
Hi Kellie, hope things are going well with you, think about you and your family often
Hi Christina......... heck i am back to seeing you it seems like all the time now........ ;0) oh i am so in love with my little niece.
Hi Gina, we will have to do a weekend walk with Aunt Chris
Hi Jeanine, I just miss you........
Hi Kims Mom, keep the prayers coming, the power of prayer is amazing...... but you already know that.
Hi Cliff, so i am glad you are sorta, kinda, behaving yourself, at least that's what your sis says

and Dear Katie, do not even comment that i didn't say hi to you......... i see you all the time, you live with me remember???

Sunday, November 09, 2008

I see fire and I see rain.....

first fire place weekend of the year, and I love it? this is so much my time of the year. cold rain outside, and a warm fire inside. It feels so good to do absolutely nothing. It has been almost 2 and 1/2 months since I've had a weekend off....and today i am just relaxing, I plan on napping, reading, watching movies, peaking at the football game every now and then. I spent yesterday cleaning cleaning today can be my day of rest.
Bill and I may go on a short little hike this afternoon. and then again I may not want to get out of my jammies, today is a jammie day for me. Besides Chris and I are doing a nice hike tomorrow morning with a few wonderful women.

Oh and Kim, to answer your Clairitin question. they are the ones that told me to take the Clairitin. and what they are looking for can't be masked by the medication, and taking it will help them make the diagnosis., a malformation of my throat will occur with or with out the claritin, But if i don't snore as loud, and i still show that there are no signs of lost oxygen, or apnea, then they can guess the snoring is from sinus drainage and not obstruction. Hopefully this will be my last sleep study for a while, Now if this test comes back with totally different results, i may have to do another one. this doctor is extremely cautious says the sleep techs.
Well the chair is calling me........ but first i promised the "boys", that i'll make breakfast for a late lunch,,,,,,, vanilla Cinnamon french toast, scalloped apples, sausage, bacon ........ they love it.
I am feeling so good........ such a peace to my Spirit......

Friday, November 07, 2008


before i tell you about the Results to my nutritional meeting in Pittsburgh, and my Sleep Study results....... i just gotta tell you a little gym with the brother John story.......let me begin with, the second we step in the Gym, John takes it 100% serious. and man i know i keep saying this, but he knows his sh*t. He has the ability to work my body out to the point of almost pain.... BUT he stops there, and i am experiencing no injuries. Chris and i are drenched in sweat within 15 minutes. well so we had this one exercise where you take a heavy medicine ball, sorta squat, and lift the ball over your head and throw it at the wall as hard as you can........ so Chris goes first, while i am doing some row machine. she lifts the ball over her head,...... and then she hits the wall with a.......with a ..... poof!! and i am NOT joking here, it barely touched the wall, i started giggling, Johnny didn't know what to say..... and the other 3 or 4 in the gym tried really hard not to laugh. You had to see it to appreciate it, but Chris keeps saying she is really weak in the upper body..... um she threw the ball like a toddler........ watch out 1 month old Paige is going to catch up soon.
okay.......... enough of that......... Tuesday is our next gym day.

okay I've lost another 3 and 1/2 pounds this visit. ( this was in 2 weeks) So i have lost something with every visit since i started in early August. with an average of 1 to 2 lbs a week :0).

Now i have to go and have another sleep study on Tuesday...... and here is the news...... first the tech that called me thought it was very odd that the doctor wants me to have another one, as she said he's never asked for that so quickly before. I guess my O2 level stays great with no drops, I had no periods of obstructive sleep apnea, I slept 87% of the time , and when i did wake up briefly i was back into a deep sleep within minutes. I did NOT experience any Restless legs or stuff like that.......... BUT the only thing i did do...... was snore very loudly....... like 5 on a scale of 1 to 5. and the doctor was actually surprised with snores like that, it didn't hinder my breathing.. Because of the history of 4 for 4 of my siblings having moderate to severe sleep apnea, and because i did wake up choking and coughing once, and because i snored......... he would like another night or two to monitor again. I will say this, i haven't been taking my Clairitin and my sinus drainage may be pooling in the back of my throat causing the loud noise, so i am going back on Claritin today......and will use it for the next sleep study.
Yes i am busy, but i feel so good right now and sure am enjoying this journey.
Well i think i am going to bed now.......tomorrow comes pretty quick

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


okay it is finally over. and now it is time that since my family's candidate didn't get chosen, that it is time to Respect the Man and the Position... Bill is such a hard core Conservative, and my kids are exactly like him. I don't think i am hard core anything actually. I am NOT going to worry about this as i know that God is in control of my life. And i am going to be optimistic and wait and see what happens, i am going to give President Elect Obama a chance to see what He is going to do. I remember when President GW Bush was elected i was so saddened to see that many Democrats didn't even want to give him a chance, didn't want to show him respect, and i remember saying....... okay the people spoke, and GWB was chosen, now stop whining and lets move on...... I wouldn't want the Presidents position for ANYTHING, look how quickly the Presidents age. and gee their income is less than a 2nd and 3rd string professional athlete. Good Luck Mr. President Obama, I'll be praying for you. Besides Changes don't start at the Federal Government level,it starts in your home, it starts in your local communities. I am teaching my children right from wrong, i am teaching my children to respect each other, I am teaching my children...... and as i see them change from Child to adulthood......... I like what I see........well most of the time.

well out for my hike, then a doctor appointment and then work
Love and Blessings to my GG's

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


I don't want to get into politics as it can be such a sore subject with many. But sometimes I wonder if we as a Nation take some responsibility as to who is in the Office.... after all we put them there! I know that sometimes it is difficult to find out what is going on as political parties tend to give half truths and partial lies about the opposing running mates. it is our responsibility to educate ourselves, know what are politicians vote for, know what they stand for. I was talking to someone the other day, and we were talking about one of the Senate seats..........she said that she'd be voting for _______ , and I said Why? and she said, oh i don't know he's been there for over 20 years.............she was a sweet older lady, she just said she votes for the most familiar names on the ballot.
I know who i plan on voting for, and I hope and Pray that He wins. But if He doesn't than I will respect who does win. and I Will honor the position that he has, and I will with an open mind, give him a chance and see what he does........... because you know what? I'd want the same chance if i were in his shoes.

I know ultimately that God IS in control, and as long as i keep my eyes on Him and trust in Him. I will be okay!

Now about last night, it was actually quite interesting. I took a nice soaking bath at home, put on my jammies, took my bed pillows with me, and headed to the Sleep center.... got there for 9pm.... I was taken to a room that resembled a hotel room, answered a hundred questions, and then ............. the process began......... first long wiring with a censor on the bottom threaded through my shirt and Jammie bottoms to each of my ankles, wrapped with Velcro straps. then a double lead EKG sticky one to my rt chest one under my left arm.......... and the sticky sensors placed around my eyes, my chin, my mouth, and then another sound sensor placed on my throat. two sensor bands placed on and around my upper chest and my mid abdomen region. 4 yes i said 4 small prongs placed up my nostrils, wiring tucked behind my ears. also a small sensor hanging from the nasal contraptions placed so that it is directly over my mouth . okay now came the tedious part the Sleep tech, started scrubbing several (and i mean several) area on my scalp, it actually hurt, and one by one he put on a EEG sensor i am not sure how many 15, 20 who knows?........... and then after watching an informative video (instead of the Monday night football game). i got tucked in, told to relax...............and go to sleep........ um yeah right........i feel like Dr. Jekyll's science experiment, hooked up to everything....... BUT the bed was really comfy, and from all the physical activity the day before, i fell asleep pretty quickly, didn't even seem to mind cameras on me all night. I did wake up a few times...... not sure how many. One time i remember waking up to a coughing jag. but i seemed to roll over and go back to sleep. There were no clocks in the room so i wasn't sure what time it was, but the last time i woke up i just knew it was between 5am-6am.... i woke up wide awake, and felt pretty good. spoke out to the tech.......and told him, hey it's gotta be after 5am, i am ready to wake up. The time was 5:21am.......... it took him about 15 minutes to unhook me, and i was on my way, made it home in time to bath, pack my breakfast AND lunch... and make it to work before 7am. I guess they could tell when i was awake, sleep, dreaming, moving, snoring, yawning, gritting my teeth, .... and just about everything else............ looking forward to getting the results. I must be honest with you i ALWAYS wake up feeling refreshed, with energy...... and I usually wake up the same time......and it is ALWAYs before 6am, even if i go back to sleep.......... the first wide awake moment for me is before 6am. But i do find i get tired mid morning....... and need to work through the slump, i also, when able, enjoy a nap, but it never last more than 45 minutes, maybe an hour..... i can't sleep for 2 or 3 hours ........... wonder if they'll find anything????

Today is a Johnny workout day........ Not sure i want to go.......... but i will, for Christina's sake :0).

Have a good day today

Monday, November 03, 2008


I am just automatically feeling more energy as of late. This morning Christina, Me and Judy went for a walk, and i just felt good, had a "spring" in my step... could have easily walked another mile or two, but Judy had a lot to do today. So I came home, and decided to go with Katie and the little girl she babysits for (she's 2 years old). we went to yellow creek state park, and had a "picnic" and we played......and played. came home, and although i wanted to take a nap, i didn't got supper ready, and now i am going to do some housework.
Tonight I go up to Indiana to do my sleep study......i am scheduled to go up at 9pm. i know that i am going to be connected with a hundred wires to my head and body, I am going to have a camera on me, and heart monitors and breathing monitors.......and i am going to be told, .......Have a nice sleep, um, yeah, I'll get right on that! I must admit that i am tired right now...... so hopefully I'll sleep. I need to get home by 6am so that i can get ready for work. tomorrow i work at Kiski. and I have an appointment with my *personal trainer. that is if Christina will SHARE him, i am just sayin' we also made arrangements already to walk on Weds morning. I work all week. and have 2 appointments for myself, the sleep study and the lung study..... gosh I am doing all that i can in my power to get this body healthy..... not leaving a stone unturned.
well, i think I'll get going, take i nice bath, shave my legs so when they put the EKG leads on my legs, i won't cut or jab anyone :0)!!!
If i get time I'll blog and let you all know how it went tomorrow while I am at work.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

~> Connected<~

That is how i am feeling right now, connected!!!!! How do i explain this, NOT SURE. but i just feel like i am where i am supposed to be, and doing what I am supposed to be doing. I know that i have been super busy and today is day 11 of my stretch. I AM taking tomorrow off, i need to. Bill misses me, I miss him, the kids miss me so i am sure they'll hang around for an hour. who'd of ever thought that my 14,16,17, 19 year old children would pick friends and girlfriends over sitting with mama all day?, just don't understand it :^). Well anyhow, even being as busy as I have been, even working the first part of this stretch with the worse Migraine of my life to date. I managed to stay in control. House stayed cleaned, laundry was kept up.
I must admit, I LOVE my new job at the methadone clinic, I don't like getting up at 4am, and there is SO much work and responsibility to this job, But sometimes when i think about this job, this opportunity that God has given me. I am humbled and honored to be put in this position. These precious human beings (most of them) are in their lowest point of life, they have no self respect. some have been abused as children, some still being abused. some come to me trying to hide the tears of absolute pain and destitution in their lives. I have the opportunity to spend 1 minute with them, to smile at them and not judge, to listen to them and not judge. to make them laugh....*believe it or not i am good at that sometimes :0). They may spend 23 hours and 59 minutes a day feeling worthless, But for that 1 minute. I want them to know, I remember their name, i remember what they told me the day before, and they are Worthy of all the love and respect in the world!!! and as they leave my window for the day.... i pray that God gets them through another day, and that someday, with His help, they will get out of the mess they are in. I know that i am sounding emotional here, but i can't help it, the eyes just kill me, we have a client that has regressed pretty bad, and her eyes...... the emptiness, the sadness, the hopelessness. .. only God can help her...... yup i am where i am supposed to be!
Don't get me wrong i love Kiski, these boys are so darn cute, but i must say since i started working at the Methadone clinic, i don't think i am as tolerant of the "rich" boys that have had the silver spoons in their mouths since birth.... just different spectrum's of Nursing I guess. I guess they were born into it just as much as my clients at the methadone clinic where born into it........ i am just sayin'

I want to bring up briefly Melody........ this girl just doesn't let it go :0) and I am glad. she will be gone almost 2 years in December. and i think about her almost every day. I am confident that I will be able to give her my promise, by next year at this time, I will do the 10 mile hike, haven't forgotten. I'd like to do it in the fall....... a beautiful fall afternoon is what i am planning. My life has certainly changed since i met her, and it hasn't been the same.

Oh and I think Christina will agree with this, My brother Johnny is a "master" at what he does. he can work us out in 20 minutes and it feels like 2 hours, he said he could also work us out for 2 hours and it feels like 20 minutes, but why waste time ? I am not saying this because he is my brother........ but he is so knowledgeable, and backs up what he does with facts. oh Patti, he ended up not leaving, this happened before, he would think about leaving, and his clients beg him to stay, the wealthy ones offer more money...... so for now he stays!!! And he is busy....... jumping from one appointment to another, and he is ALL business, no chatting, ....move move move, and he doesn't have a routine for Us, so when we go Tuesday.......... he said expect the unexpected!! we will see, i just know my muscles hurt in such a good way right now .

OH OH OH, and i MUST tell you, Christina hogged him yesterday..... she did! He's going to start working on her eating patterns soon , at least i think, i just heard bits and peaces as i was a m.i.l.e. away on another machine while she was hogging him!

well this is long.... and i am tired.......... Bill is so sweet...... and i love my life.......... 3 more hours of work to go........... 3 more hours