That is how i am feeling right now, connected!!!!! How do i explain this, NOT SURE. but i just feel like i am where i am supposed to be, and doing what I am supposed to be doing. I know that i have been super busy and today is day 11 of my stretch. I AM taking tomorrow off, i need to. Bill misses me, I miss him, the kids miss me so i am sure they'll hang around for an hour. who'd of ever thought that my 14,16,17, 19 year old children would pick friends and girlfriends over sitting with mama all day?, just don't understand it :^). Well anyhow, even being as busy as I have been, even working the first part of this stretch with the worse Migraine of my life to date. I managed to stay in control. House stayed cleaned, laundry was kept up.
I must admit, I LOVE my new job at the methadone clinic, I don't like getting up at 4am, and there is SO much work and responsibility to this job, But sometimes when i think about this job, this opportunity that God has given me. I am humbled and honored to be put in this position. These precious human beings (most of them) are in their lowest point of life, they have no self respect. some have been abused as children, some still being abused. some come to me trying to hide the tears of absolute pain and destitution in their lives. I have the opportunity to spend 1 minute with them, to smile at them and not judge, to listen to them and not judge. to make them laugh....*believe it or not i am good at that sometimes :0). They may spend 23 hours and 59 minutes a day feeling worthless, But for that 1 minute. I want them to know, I remember their name, i remember what they told me the day before, and they are Worthy of all the love and respect in the world!!! and as they leave my window for the day.... i pray that God gets them through another day, and that someday, with His help, they will get out of the mess they are in. I know that i am sounding emotional here, but i can't help it, the eyes just kill me, we have a client that has regressed pretty bad, and her eyes...... the emptiness, the sadness, the hopelessness. .. only God can help her...... yup i am where i am supposed to be!
Don't get me wrong i love Kiski, these boys are so darn cute, but i must say since i started working at the Methadone clinic, i don't think i am as tolerant of the "rich" boys that have had the silver spoons in their mouths since birth.... just different spectrum's of Nursing I guess. I guess they were born into it just as much as my clients at the methadone clinic where born into it........ i am just sayin'
I want to bring up briefly Melody........ this girl just doesn't let it go :0) and I am glad. she will be gone almost 2 years in December. and i think about her almost every day. I am confident that I will be able to give her my promise, by next year at this time, I will do the 10 mile hike, haven't forgotten. I'd like to do it in the fall....... a beautiful fall afternoon is what i am planning. My life has certainly changed since i met her, and it hasn't been the same.
Oh and I think Christina will agree with this, My brother Johnny is a "master" at what he does. he can work us out in 20 minutes and it feels like 2 hours, he said he could also work us out for 2 hours and it feels like 20 minutes, but why waste time ? I am not saying this because he is my brother........ but he is so knowledgeable, and backs up what he does with facts. oh Patti, he ended up not leaving, this happened before, he would think about leaving, and his clients beg him to stay, the wealthy ones offer more money...... so for now he stays!!! And he is busy....... jumping from one appointment to another, and he is ALL business, no chatting, ....move move move, and he doesn't have a routine for Us, so when we go Tuesday.......... he said expect the unexpected!! we will see, i just know my muscles hurt in such a good way right now .
OH OH OH, and i MUST tell you, Christina hogged him yesterday..... she did! He's going to start working on her eating patterns soon , at least i think, i just heard bits and peaces as i was a m.i.l.e. away on another machine while she was hogging him!
well this is long.... and i am tired.......... Bill is so sweet...... and i love my life.......... 3 more hours of work to go........... 3 more hours