Thursday, December 11, 2008

Stressed to say the least..........

i haven't blogged about this as of yet, and i've been dealing with something for sometime, and i am at the point where I can't stand it .....grrrrrr.....
Its about my second job at the Methadone clinic, which i truly loved doing soooooo much. tell me how strange this is........ the Clinical Supervisor, The Nurse Manager, and the Physician all are leaving with in the same time frame. sadly i haven't been trained in all areas, and actually i got a good 25% of it worked out , I and the only other nurse are still pretty much in training, of course i am the newest dosing nurse, and still rely on calling my nurse manager for things...........(I've been told when this happens call the nurse manager, if this goes wrong call the nurse manager.....there are signs all over the dosing room for all the nurses to Call the nurse manager) well her last day was December 9th, the Clinical supervisor's last day was December 6th. When i found out that ALL of my superiors were leaving in December, i too put in a letter of resignation not out malice, but I just said until a new manager is hired and trained, I'd need to step back, at this point i did not feel save swimming without the "life jacket" so to speak. I obviously cannot and will not get into everything on a blog...... but trust me when i say there IS a lot going on right now that is shooting radar warning signs directly through my heart... Methadone is nothing to work casually with, it can and does kill people, we have young pregnant girls who's lives and babies lives are in our hands, a too small dose or too large dose could have dire consequences. let me just say the Nursing license that I've had for 20 years is in jeopardy. .......... Well let me tell you this, the first words out of corporate too me is........if you leave before the end of the year we CAN sue you......... what the heck!!!! i don't think they can........ and don't think they will. and i am angry that they don't care that i am back there on my own........ this has been going on two weeks, and i am a mess.... i am so stressed right now, that my stomach is in knots, i vomited once yesterday........ not able to eat........ i know i had the ulcer in April, and I know that i can't get another one or let this one get irritated again, cause that could keep me from any type of abdominal surgery for a while, not just that, Stress wrecks havoc with your immune system, and i am going to end up getting sick if i don't get a grip on this, i am going to the doctors tomorrow to see if he can put me back on protonix at least for a few months. I wish i could explain more, but i just can't. but know this, these Clients have touched my heart, and i am going to miss them. they are what made this job so awesome. Why would God put me in a place but to stay just a couple of months....... i don't know, but God has a time and season for everything He does.......and I continue to trust in His direction for me. who knows, there will be a new place opening up in Indiana next year (at least that was the plan) just maybe...... i just know in my heart that i am supposed to get out of there, and fast. I have 6 more working days between now and December 27th, my last day..... If there is something i am not comfortable with, i will not do it..


Cliff said...

Do you know how many lawsuits I have been threatened with? Tell 'em to go ahead and sue ya.

Your Dad in Heaven will take care of that stuff.

Patti said...

Wow Sandi. When I first started reading I thought maybe YOU should be in training for the Nurse Manager because we all know you are an awesome nurse. But I can't believe thier attitude in not addressing your reasons for wanting to step aside.
What is meant to be will be.
Your first priority is to take care of YOU.

Kellie said...

Hey there ChickiePOO! Listen... you and I know the dance that goes on in any clinic like that. You have your intuition and you know documentation is your life saver when the shlit hits the fan and I am sure it will. I don't have time to go into all of thisin a email even this morning. AARON WILL BE HOME TODAY!!!!!!! So the name of the game is CYA! And this situation just may be the reason you are there. Stand your ground and keep your morals pasted on your forehead!!!!!
Wish I could chat, maybe this wekend.
Love ya