I am sitting there last night, top row of the bleachers, waiting desperately for the sun to go down, it was so hot. Ahhhhhhhhh high school football on Friday nights. I'd rather be cold and shivering, wrapped in blankets waiting to watch my two sons play.
my mind floods back to childhood memories, memories of going to football games with my mom and dad, watching my brothers play. i have five brothers, so I spent many many years going to those football games from 1976 until 1987. My mom, loved those games........she was one of those crazy cheering type of fans.....yelling until she lost her voice. She was so proud of her boys........ how would i even know what she was feeling until 20 years later,.... having now sons of my own in Varsity football. Andrew, God gave to me, almost 16 years ago. Corey I picked out almost 3 years ago. I get a little choked up when i watch Corey.... I love the boy, and love watching him play.... He now calls me Mama officially. But when he's out on the field, or on the side lines..... does he ever wonder about his birth mother, the mother that gave birth to him, and tried her best to raise him for 8 years.... I know that she just didn't do it right, i know that she was into substance abuse, i know she even tried to kill him, so Corey says. BUT she is his mom, and he does love her. Yeah we care, and we go and cheer him on at whatever he does...... whether it is a football game or the sweater hop court. Surely there are aunts and uncles, and grandparent, and cousins on his moms side and his dad's side. they just don't have anything to do with him., .... I know WE are his family now, My brothers and sister and sister in laws, are his Aunts and Uncles. My kids grandparents are His grandparents, my Children are his brothers and sister. Bill and Albert are both his fathers.....and I am his Mother!!! I do love him, do i love him enough? does he know that I love him? I tell him, i show him, I didn't give birth to him, and gee i didn't even start raising him until he was almost 13. He deserves that unconditional love that only a mom can give. I mean there are times that he infuriates me, he's 15 after all. there are times where i would like to hang him from his toes... but in honesty, There are times i feel the same about Andrew...... those mouthy teenage know it all boy years!!! Is it possible to love Corey the same way? I sure hope so, he deserves it!!! and i guess time will tell
Just got back from Curves...... did not want to go at all....... not even a little bit, BUT i am on a roll here, so i went, and now I am glad that i did..... i think I'm going to spend the day........cleaning, chilling, resting...
Donna went back to Florida today for a few months, she's going to babysit her grandson for one school year. Doug and I are fine..... and my nephew Mike i am ready to choke..... he's 21, laying around here sleeping and eating...... he's not doing a damn thing....... and that just ticks me off, knowing that i am working tons of hours, and still coming home to cook, clean, do laundry...... it's just not fair. He's out of here this weekend........
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