my life..........

good morning..... it's early and quiet so I'll take a few minutes to have some me time. Again my blog is inspired by listening to Joyce Meyers. Her message today was based on "loving your life". How much time is spent wasted by wishing things in your life were different? I'd love to be a size 6 and never have to worry about exercise and diet . I'd love to have all the money i need at my disposal. I'd love to have a house in total order. I'd love to look like those models on TV that look so perfect like a barbie doll. But you know what? That is NOT the life that God has chosen for me. I am and will always have to work at getting my body healthy. I will always be needing money for something, for the mortgage, the kids, the car, ...... I have children, 4 of them, enough said about a house in order. I've always lived with the policy that my home is an Open door. My boys always have one friend or another here, my mother in law and father in law lived here last year, and now my brother and his wife are here. My friends know they can just come and walk in........ That's just how it is! Yes i have rules to follow, and i won't let myself get taken advantage of. After this weekend when i "blew up" at my brother, it's a long story, but things are working out much better since.. .. and Peace has again entered into my home. So i can't Open my home, and then complain because people enter, now can I???
I am happy with my life, the only other option is to be depressed with my life.... and what a waste that would be!!!
The facts are, I am one of 8 children. my father was an alcoholic and controlling and abusive. 13 years before he died, he excepted Jesus in his life and spent the rest of his days on this earth going to Churches and youth groups and prisons and meetings talking about how the abuse of alcohol destroys families. (because of his change, and the restitution he made in honor of God, i have "forgotten his past before this") There was a period in my life where i was abused by a family friend. My dad died early in life, and my mom, my dearest friend, died a few years later. My husband of 10 years, the father 0f my 3 children left me, when the kids were very young......yeah I could go on about my little "sob" story... But in reality it is not a sob story....... it is MY LIFE! and a life i wouldn't change. My dad was an abused little boy, he became abusive, but because of his past. when his path changed, i remember the many many people who was touched by my dad's story, and who's life changed too, by the grace of God. life happens, and if my mom would have lived, it would have prob been in a nursing home in pain, She didn't suffer long, God took her home early. The abuse i experienced, God has made my spirit stronger. I am remarried to a man who adores me and the kids.We have been married almost 6 years. my X husband gets along wonderfully with my new husband and I. making it a very peaceful life for my children. This is my body........and it's always going to be this way. i will not magically get thin and stay thin over night. Knowing this, Accepting this is the first step in my journey to better health. and hey it's so much fun doing this journey with my bestest friend :0)
I've told my newest Son, who lived a hellish childhood and had been in the foster system for years.... " yeah your life really sucked, and i am sorry about that. there is nothing we can do about what happened with your past. you are here now, and have been for going on 3 years. I refuse to allow your past to become a crutch, i refuse to allow your past to ruin your future. My son is doing wonderful now, they stopped his counseling almost a year ago, his grades are getting better, he's very social (too social, ah, 15 year old boys) He's happy, healthy, and annoying just as teenage boys should be!!!! He's not living in yesterday....... he's living today!

wow, must have been in a 'talkative' mood today. but this too must end. i go this AM for my second pap smear because the first one a few months ago, was abnormal. Not even nervous this time...... and for those people keeping track i now know that i am not .....in the "grove" of things but the "groove" of things... me and my spelling :)

well to all, This is your life, and your life only. make the best of it. and don't worry about what is on the other side of the fence... your own pasture is just as green.