Angels out there............heaven and earth

I don't think our Angels are necessarily our loved ones, or anyone we knew on Earth! Maybe our Angels never have been to Earth in a human body form. Regardless, I believe in Angels, and I believe Melody has become one of my guardian angels. it's been a year, and I still think about her, and i still get these subconscious messages from her, Like a few weeks ago when I woke up at 3 in the morning and immediately she crossed my mind....... it was like she was saying ...... " now Sandi, you really haven't been that focused lately, and don't forget you promised me!" Well something is keeping me focused on Melody, because the initial drive and focus should have worn off by now...... Christina picked me up this Plaque when she was visiting Amish country this summer......she said when she saw it..........She HAD to get if for me....... not only did it talk about angels, it has Melody's name in it.... how cool is that!

I've been thinking about this circle of friends we have going here, and that in itself is a Miracle. We have Patti in Arizona, who i met years ago on a diet website, there is Kim who lived on the other end of the state who moved to Pittsburgh last year. Kellie who lives in Ohio, ( i also met on the same diet website) Now I haven't been active on this site for over 3 years. but these friends stayed in my heart. And Christina has been my friend and neighbor for over 20 years. Now Chris hasn't met Patti or Kellie in person. Patti hasn't met Chris in person yet. Kim hasn't met Kellie in person yet..........and I have met them all :0)!!!! We each have our own personal journeys, and sometimes these journeys are really tough... but we seem to have what each other needs........even if it is a prayer or a comment or knowledge shared. I consider these woman my most precious circle of friends........and I figure God must have his hand in it......how else could this group of women combined? we didn't go to the same school, or church, or heck we aren't even living in the same State. My network of friends go beyond this group, and I am so blessed with the friends I have. Some i may not see or hear from for a week, a month, a year... but my love for them and appreciation for them never change. , there was Dana, She was my fitness partner and buddy, she helped me get through my divorce, that was 8 years ago. our lives went in different direction, and i may see her in passing now. But I will NEVER forget her, and what her friendship meant to me. and there is Lydia, she moved away... but we stay in touch by phone and get together a couple times a year.... she helped me get over the one really bad relationship after my divorce, oh and she is the one that got tired of hearing me talk about this man that i am supposed to meet........ she got his number, and made me call him On Sept 13th 2001, ( I married that man 3 months later and 6 years ago ) i have a Canadian friend, who I'll always love, Not sure what is going on with that friendship, but she'll never be forgotten. I remember my childhood friend, we were inseparable from the time we could walk, We still see each other now and then..........and I'll always love her. And Patti D. my high school chum!!! and there are newer friends...... Joanie, Judy, Molly, Gina... As i look back on my life, I see how instrumental my friendships were. And some friends are meant to stay for the long haul, and some are meant to stop briefly, But Regardless. each and every relationship is important. Wow I am glad that God made Friends!!!

Well in other news, If anyone says "you can't work out at Curves" they are soooo wrong! lately I've been literally kicking my butt on the machines. when the 30 minutes is up, I almost don't even want to drive. But it feels good. I've been there for over a year now........and there were times that i didn't go like i should have, But i never threw in the towel, and I kept trudging on. I like the atmosphere so much, I like that it is women, all shapes, sizes, age groups.

And as I told Kim, I am in this journey with her, so the sweets in my life are almost non existent, and i am feeling pretty good about it. as you know I call them "Patti days" and I've had 5 "Patti Days" out of the last 7. Although i have not been diagnosed with Pre diabetic numbers yet..... why wait. my grandmother was diabetic, and I have 3 brothers that are type II diabetics. My body shape is that of my mother's. I carry my weight mainly in the hips and thighs. and the stomach is the first area that i loose. Kim and Patti are built the opposite of me, they tend to put weight on in the stomach. There is no winner or loser here, I am just saying.....

Well I am at Kiski again this morning, and I have one boy in the "hospital" part. So i am going to get him moving and ready for brunch....

Have a good day

Facing Reality....

okay i was going to blog yesterday at work.......but i was way too busy!!! so I will try and get this done today. the night before i spent a good part of the night coughing..... i didn't feel bad, my body wasn't achy or anything......i just had this annoying cough. In the morning, i was still coughing.......i was coughing and tired!!! Christina called me at 9am to schedule the time we would be leaving for Curve...... and immediately she said "Sandi, you are wheezing!!! " here i was having Asthmatic issues all along! 3 years ago, I got a really bad lung infection, and spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital, and back and forth to the doctors. Well ever since then I have been compromised with Asthma, I have an Inhaler, but will use it once a month if that. I do not want to be controlled by my Inhaler... so i "forget" that I have that option. Also, when you think of Asthma, you always think of "difficulty breathing type of attacks" I forget that coughing is another symptom. So I use my inhaler...... went to Curves, and felt great. actually i noticed that i was breathing deeply, and it felt good. So i prob needed to use the Inhaler a week ago. Instead of denying that I need the Inhaler, If i would have just used it, maybe i wouldn't have been so sick, tired, and weak a few days ago. So i am facing REALITY, I am susceptible to getting Asthmatic symptoms! and I need to pay more attention to what my body needs.

Speaking of Curves........ I must say i kicked some major butt yesterday! I worked my muscles as hard as I could on the machines.... I truly gave it 100% I figure if I am doing it 3 days a week... only 1/2 hour, I better give it 100% So early in the morning...... i wake up and immediately think of Melody.... and in my head, i say to myself, I really got to keep this going, I have goals to achieve for Melody. So was that me thinking this? or is this a way that Angels communicate with us? I believe this is how Melody communicates with me!!! I have been doing awesome eating....... pretty much sticking to 6 small meals/ protein and complex carb with every meal. No sugar. lots of water.... good fats! lots of flax seeds.. extra veggies and low glycemic fruits.

I plan on going to Curves tomorrow morning before work, and depending how hard i work will decide if I go on Saturday or not. Well i should get going......... i would like to talk about something else on my mind.....so i may come back later, or I may wait until tomorrow.

Make it a good one

A day in Pittsburgh

A day in Pittsburgh, A day of friendship and fellowship....a day to enjoy the daughters. Me, Katie and Christina met Jeanine (Chris' daughter) at Kimmies at 10 this morning. I must first say the morning started with me "tossing" Katie's plastic bag of what i thought was extra clothes (she was going to Hockey game later in the evening) . How was i to know she had a book in the bag........ i bruised and cut just below her right eye......I felt sooooo bad. Kim has the nicest little apartment, it has so much character and charm...if i were single, i could see myself living there... 3 flights of steps up and all!!! We went to a cute little Tea Spot and it was so "adorable" I had green apple/green tea, which i ended up purchasing, Christina had Carmel tea, and Kim had English tea.....not sure what Jeanine had...... Katie ordered hot chocolate........ plain!! you can tell she was raised by me, when the young gentleman asked her......... do you want it made with soy milk, skim milk, whole milk, cream........ I know what Katie was thinking, ..."~ dang dude, open up a packet of Swiss miss and put some boiling water in it~"... i tasted her hot chocolate and it was delicious, so creamy and frothy........it took them a while to make it too! At this point it was snowing so hard, big large soft snow flakes.....it was so pretty! we then drove to another part of town to check out some quaint shops........ I won't even go into too much detail about the "Kard Shop, with the all about Penis book........ I guess there were frog Pee Pees, and Zucchini pee pees, and tattooed pee pees.......... Now speaking from a Nursing for 20 years point of view......... they are ALL ugly.......i am just saying!!! (hi Patti ) Kim and/or Christina would have to give you more info on the book :0) We then went to a local restaurant.........very good food, very reasonable priced... I had a grilled portabella, veggie, basil, sandwich on Cibota bread ( i have no idea how to pronounce this bread let alone spell it) We then stopped at a few more shops and then headed to Trader Joes ....... this was my first time, and I loved loved loved it. I just Need to go back again in a few weeks.

Well I am home now, the kids are all gone, and Bill will be home soon. so i should go get ready for dinner....... i am not hungry....... lunch has filled me up, and that was 6 hours ago almost.

It was truly such a fun relaxing day........... and if Laughter is the Best medicine....... then i can't be better!!!

Thanks girls for a great time

love you

my corner today

This is where i spent most of my Sunday.... here or in my bed. I can't seem to get warm, so I've been sitting near as i can to the fireplace! I just feel yucky.........and i can't even pinpoint where it is coming from. My ears are draining, I have a terrible sinus headache, my muscles and joints ache and the big thing is I feel like i am on a carnival ride even when i am sitting still. I have cherry almond tea, and i am using amaretto creamer....which go perfect together......delicious. don't even need a dessert , the tea seems to satisfy the sweet urge.
Looking forward to going in to Pittsburgh tomorrow. Christina said she'd drive, She doesn't agree with me being dizzy and Pittsburgh traffic. and i wonder why!!!! I am so excited her daughter Jeanine, who lives in Pittsburgh also is going to meet with Us ..... and I just Love Love Love this girl. so the four us are going to have a great time.... even if i am a little under the weather.

well i am making grilled turkey burgers mixed with chili powder and spices ..... you use low fat Cheddar cheese mixed in to help with moisture... delicious!!!
I'll let you know how things go tomorrow......love ya guys.

Kellie hope you're feeling better soon.
Patti thanks for the recipe

Rainy day / Diarrhea / My Bed

Okay I had two pictures to choose from, the rain or my bed. ( the diarrhea wasn't an option) I am here at work although I am not feeling well at all. My stomach is very upset, and cramping pretty bad. I've been in the bathroom since 1am. I did get up a little this morning and managed to do the dishes and sweep the floors. and then I crawled back into bed and tried to rest. every time I'd fall asleep, I'd have to run to the bathroom... I checked my temperature when I got to work and it is 100.6, but i am so cold at the same time. The one and only drawback to working at Kiski is, the germs and viruses here are global. There are hundreds of different viruses out there, I have kids from Germany, Spain, Korea, China, Japan, Singapore, Africa......... etc........ , Coughing all over me. i am a stickler for washing my hands, and i wipe down every surface i touch with alcohol and spray disinfectants. Many of these kids returned from other countries this past weekend. many returned ill, and lets take in to account.......they carry the germs of every sick person on the plane with them for 10-12-15 hours!!!! there is SO MUCH SICKNESS HERE RIGHT NOW!!! I guess i can expect that with my job, I mean since i am in the nursing field and all. I just want to crawl back into my bed......and sleep sleep sleep. Oh gee, I have the 7am shift tomorrow morning., the one good thing is, On weekends I usually don't see anyone.

I didn't go to Curves today..... but I wasn't planning on it either......I was going to walk campus today. I do not benefit going to Curves 2 consecutive days.... I work the machines hard, and you really should take a day off to let your muscles repair. And there is a way you can work hard on the recovery boards and just use the weight machines lightly...... but hey..... I can jump up and down at home just as easy.

Eating has been going great for me, well, until today that is....... my intake has been Tea. i had a couple Bistro whole grain crackers this morning......and my tummy did NOT like it. Right now i am sipping on Vanilla Creme tea, I had Chamomile/Oregon Mint earlier, and Chi Spice earlier than that...... So I am peeing quite well too. Sunday I do NOT work..... so that is going to be rest for me......... so looking forward to going to Pittsburgh to hang with Kim and Chris on Monday.

Oh yeah.... I am going to try and post a picture every blog entry in January..... so you'll never Know what it is going to be...... I have my walking stick, my hiking shoes, my tub, my porch, my pets, my kids, my hubby, my foot that has the cool surgery scar......oh so much to see!!!!

Hey Chris, you blogging I can't believe the power Patti and Kim have over ya.....

my fireplace

okay since Kim is tired of the title "my teapot" I changed it to "my fireplace." This is my favorite one thing in my home. And if the weather is cold out.......... I am using it!!! it's an old fashion stone fireplace, that burns wood. Oh we've thought about getting the real looking logs using gas........and some of those you can't even tell that they are gas burning and not wood burning. But I am not ready for that yet. Yah, getting the wood, and piling the wood, and cleaning up dirt brought in from the wood!!!! But hey what do I have all these boys for? I think it is the heart of my home in the winter time. This world can get tough, and in the winters of Pennsylvania, even tougher! After a long day at work, or even after a long day of play............chilled to the bone, we come home and sit by the fire........ Ever since the kids were little..........they'd go out and sled ride and make snowmen and forts.....come in not even feeling their fingers, to a cup of hot chocolate, popcorn and a fire in the fireplace. Fireplace to me, is Family time to me. Also the stone on the fireplace came from my childhood home, a little coal mining town called Brownstown. (I've only had 2 homes in my life, the home i grew up in and this home.) Now in the summer the heart of my home changes to my porch....... but that will be another blog on another day.

Work has been so busy lately.......... i feel like i am back at the hospital or the nursing home, multitasking doing 7 things at once. But i must say it makes time go faster. I work this afternoon, and tomorrow afternoon, and Saturday morning, and I may work Sunday morning too!!! I'll know tomorrow. I don't mind this job.......and this is my first job that truly has No stress. I couldn't ask for a better boss, who appreciates every thing that is done, my office is so bright and airy, and the campus is absolutely gorgeous with buildings and houses well over 100 years old. the architectural designs and the many many mature trees. surrounded by woods. Kiski prep is nestled on top of a hillside overlooking the river and the little town of Saltsburg......... gee I sound like a Realty Ad........ but I'll have to take pictures in the Spring or Fall when the old trees are at their best.

I think we are doing Curves today, I've gotta call Christina when I get off the computer. oh Kim did a Tribute Tuesday yesterday, and I think that is a great Idea...... I might start that. I think that would be a great idea

Well I've got things to do, including making supper ahead of time, and then have Bill and the kids just warm it up this evening........ this family of mine....... not sure how they survive with out ME ;-P

my teapot

My teapot that i use here working at Kiski Prep. this has a basket inside to use loose leaf tea. today i am drinking Vanilla Creme, and i used some sugar free Vanilla Caramel creamer. I must say it is delicious...... Kim, it is so easy to get hooked isn't it? Actually Patti, Remember we found this in Amish Country when you were visiting... I love it!!!!

I've been doing so great on the no sugar "Patti Day" as of late, i think I've had 3 Patti days in a row~~~~ I did NOT have the hot fudge brownie sundae's last night. I had my sugar free diet jello pudding sundae cup instead. and It hit the spot just fine.

I didn't get to Curves today.... didn't have my van today. So I can go Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Weds and Sat i work day shift. too bad it wasn't open at 2:30pm, I'd go right after work if that was the case, My Curves closes 1-4 or 2-4, and when i get home i find a million and one things to do. It has been beautiful and i have managed to start walking on campus today... i got to start out slow again. so i did a little over a mile.....

Okay i must say that I miss Christina, I haven't seen her in days!!! she has been a little under the weather with some kind of funky cold sinus thing. So i try not to bother her too much.... It seems like winter is moving so fast, and soon she'll be the busy bee again with the golf course.
hey Kim, she's not a tea drinker, maybe we should try and get her hooked........ nothing feels as good as a hot cup of tea when you're feeling yucky!!!

Andrew came home from school half a day with a bad headache and tired..... he walked in the house, fell on the couch, put a pillow over his eyes..... slept for an hour, got up ate and drank, and said his head ache went away. he has such sinus problems.......that this may not even be from his head injury.

Hey Kimmie....... how about Monday, hot tea, trader Joe's, some quaint little shops......... and what ever else. Christina want to learn how to drink tea with Us?? hey Patti, fly on out and have a spot of tea. and Gina, do you really have to go to work on Mondays???

Well I've been busy, and i need to go eat dinner....... turkey breast on light whole grain bread, and fresh berries and sf vanilla yogurt.....

Make it a good one

Putting things away

I am one of those people, I actually like taking the tree down the day after Christmas. and everything else the day after New Years. This year I was a little preoccupied..... with Michael in the hospital. So yesterday I thought to self........ self, all the kids are here, why not take the tree down now.... with all the help it should be quick and painless. So in a matter of minutes the ornaments were off, and the lights and garland...... the older boys took the tree outside. And then i said to self again....... self, while everyone is here, why not take down ALL of the Christmas decorations down............. so down went the Santas, and the manger scenes, and the villages, ...... It felt good to get this accomplished, and it went much faster with all of the help!!! Corey and Andrew kept the washing machine going.... i of course folded and put the clean laundry in the proper rooms.... we all cleaned and dusted, and put away!!!!

Michael and his mom and dad are coming over for supper today. so yesterday I made my 10 hour spaghetti sauce... late last night I put together my stuffed shells so all that I have to do today is put it in the oven, make a salad, and heat the garlic bread!!! Sounds easy enough. I'll have Corey make some brownies, and Bill went to pick up ice cream and fudge topping, I of course will have a sugar free pudding sundae the jello brand 60 calories/ll carbs. 0 sugar. they have neat flavors right now (Dulce de Leche Vanilla Caramel, Chocolate Mint Fudge, and Mochaccino Chocolate Coffee) when i want something cool and creamy......... yummy!!!! I am only making dessert for the "others" once a week now......... usually Sundays! And the other days its a fruit...... right now it is Clementine Oranges!!!

I am hoping to make a trip to Trader Joe's ( love ya Kim) they have the best Flax seed tortilla chips....... and i must say.........ummmm.......... they keep you regular to say the least. I am really being cautious how I am eating..........and for now it is giving up SUGAR!!!! minus 1 little mini dark chocolate dove daily when needed.
I'll go to Curves tomorrow before work, and this week i really have to schedule it in. because I work Mon, Weds, Thurs, Fri, Sat. some day shifts some evening shifts.. So I should go to Curves Weds evening....... and then Friday in the morning........... Sounds like a plan.

Andrew went back to school Friday........ and he did okay. I already miss him at home. one more doctor has "released" him. so now he has one more doctor to see in Pittsburgh. and if all goes well.............maybe, just maybe they will not need to see him much longer.

Well enough of this and that....... I think I'll go and organize something here at work.... and then e-mail some people that i haven't been in touch with for a while....

What Matters!!!!

With a New Year approaching, who can help but not evaluate and reflect on the past year. and make "plans" for the new year! For years the new year always sorta depressed me. because it is a great reminder that time does NOT stand still. even more so than my own birthday. nothing but the memories of 2007 now exist. I will never write 2007 on my checks (well not on purpose) I will never write 2007 on one of my children's excuses for missing school. The older I get....... the quicker the calender months pass me by. I could live and dwell on the sadness of the quickness that TIME passes us by. but that will NOT stop time from moving on. 2007 ended with such a vengeance for me..... both a saddening experience and a learning experience.

Suddenly my "new year" resolutions don't seem to be as shallow as they used to be. ( I am going to lose weight, get healthy, exercise, get more organized, get beautiful, fit into a size 8 jean,....... ) Please understand I am not using this as an excuse to eat everything and lay on my butt all day eating bonbons and watching soap operas. I am still going to Curves, am still working to eat healthier, less sugar, more fiber. I have a goal to get back outdoors and on the hiking trail again. BUT, this isn't consuming me, nor should it. I think about Alex's family in Oregon and I still can't even imagine the pain that 2008 has already bestowed upon them. suddenly size 8 jeans don't even matter any more. The family has to learn how to live in a world that no longer has their son, grandson, cousin, nephew, friend in it. I may have seen Alex now and then when he visited, but just in passing, and just to say hello. But i always knew he was there....and heard about his life happenings. it is just sad that he isn't here anymore!!! The final day's in 2007 I was dealing with possibly losing another nephew, watching Michael on a ventilator fighting for his life, knowing the outcome was in God's hands, suddenly low carb, low calorie, whole grain didn't matter. and actually either did high calorie, fats, and sweets matter either. During this time eating was just something I did to keep my body going.... and I'd even have to remember that at times. You know, i didn't spend my time at Michael's bedside thinking about what it would be like to be a size 8 again, or what the newest whole grain bread would be. I sat at his bedside thinking about how precious life truly is, bartering with God to just let me get the chance to let Mike know how much I love him!!!

That is what a resolution should be........... resolve this year to let the people in your life know how much you love them and value them. resolve to spend time with loved ones that are thought of often yet forgotten. resolve to mend fences, and forgive where needed. and ask for forgiveness even if you are so sure that it wasn't your "fault" in the first place. hug more, say I love you more and laugh more. play in the rain, rest in the sun, waste time watching the sun set and the stars brighten. Thank God for the moment you are in, and the family and friends around you........ because when it is said and done.......... what really matters when you go to sleep at night....... are the ones you love, and love you in return!!!! Happy New Year.

New YeaR!!!!! New Beginnings, New Hopes!!!

Let me begin my blog this morning with this photo of my nephew just a few day's after the doctors were worried he was going to die.......... the progress Mike is making is nothing short of a Miracle. God must have plans for this family. After they took the ventilation tube out of Mikes throat, he began improving at such a fast pace, even the Doctors and Staff have been so surprised. We were told on Saturday afternoon, that Michael would spend approx 1 week in the ICU, and then a few more weeks in other parts of the hospital / rehab etc. well by Sunday morning they moved him to a regular room. Over night the wheezing dissipated almost to nothing. Monday morning he was finally okayed to take in solids..... so my brother took him a "sonic" breakfast burrito and a milk shake. he started eating it, loved it............. and the nurse came and took it off of him....... he has to eat soft foods until his throat heals. In the valiant attempt to save his life, they forced the intubation tube down his throat, causing a lot of trauma. his stomach tolerated the food well!!!! they removed all IV's and Foley Catheters, and tubes yesterday. So I can see him going home this week. He still has a tough time using his extremities, and he needs to be able to walk......... as quickly as he is improving......i can see that happening today!

IT has been a wonderful ending to a "long" year, and a wonderful beginning to the New Year.

I don't think I am going to make any new years resolutions this year. I am going to continue on my "Melody Mile" journey. But I am also going to enjoy every stage that I am in. A LOT has happened to me these past several months........ Beginning with Andrew and his scare with his Brain Injury. (which by the way is almost 100% resolved). And ending with the death of one nephew, and the "almost" death of another. life is precious, and unpredictable.... And i plan on enjoying it. and Thanking God for it.

We had a blast at Christina's party last night... and of course Kim fell right into place...... it was just a comfortable time. and of course, to just meet Kim is to love Kim.......... and the same with Christina and her family...... to meet them is to love them. Oh and i need to say two things. Chris, you had 90% on guitar hero, and I had 92% of hitting the correct notes...... and Andrew has a better coffee maker than you......... i am just saying.

OH and Kim's mom and family........ she behaved herself quite well last night!!!

To all my friends, I love you, and am blessed to have you in my life. Happy New Year.

Jumping for JOY!!!

Michael is off of the ventilator....... Amen, Amen, Amen. and he is talking and alert and oriented, umm, most of the time.... and then all of the pain medications kick in and he sees pink elephants in his room. Doug had called me from his room to tell me that Mike was alert, he had his tube still down his throat, but the ventilator was just assisting him.. and then he said, that they were taking the intubation tube out of his throat and he'd call me right back......... one hour later, Doug calls me, to tell me the tube is out,.......... and then he talks to someone in the room and says " I'm talking to Aunt Sandi" and then all of the suddenly, Michael gets on the phone and whispers..... "aunt Sandi, i love you, come and see me"...... I just started to cry......i mean really cry..... and i didn't stop until i went to bed last night...... I guess when Doug was talking to me, Mike wanted to know who he was talking to, and when Doug said my name , he reached for the phone.......... Me, Bill and Katie went to see Michael last night....... the boy is awake, breathing on his own.... he is so weak, and just in a weeks time, his muscles have already begun to atrophy......... (weaken) and it scared Mike that he couldn't move his hands without great effort...... he already had mild foot drop, and will need Physical therapy for a while....... the nurse said his lungs are soooooooo bad, and at any other hospital, they'd think he was in terrible condition, but knowing where he just was, they think he is in good condition. He has a long road. Doug and Donna left the hospital at the same time we did........ and I guess Donna his mom said, when they said good bye......... he asked if "Aunt Sandi could stay with him tonight" if the hospital would have let me......... i would have, but he needed rest... and they were going to sedate him so he could get some rest...... and I wasn't allowed...

There is nothing more priceless on this Earth, than human life........NOTHING!!!! and I've learned that so greatly this holiday season.....beginning at Thanksgiving time when Alex died... and Christmas time when Michael almost died....... hug your family and friends.......... and if you are holding on to any anger at someone....... let it go now............ life is precious and short....... to keep anger and resentment in your heart.

Happy NEW YEAR

Today may be the day

well, today they are supposed to take the ventilator off of Michael. so pray that all goes well. I didn't post yesterday, but I must say.... this young nephew of mine, is tough and a fighter. The doctors, for the very first time since this happened, told the family on Friday that Mike would survive THIS time!!!, he also said that Michael could never compromise going through this again, because the odds would be that he could not survive this another time! He, the doctor, said that he never saw lungs with this much pus and infection in it, for a man so young. And usually the older person with this type of fluid, is in his final hours on Earth! Mike who was a smoker , and i want to capitalize the word WAS, can not smoke again, or be in a room with people smoking!! I never allow smoking in my home, but my family that smokes, goes out to our porch, well......... my family made the decision that there will be no smoking on the property..........porch, yard, driveway............ wherever!

I didn't really come right out and say in my blog..... But Mike had more of a chance of dying than living!!! He really is such a sweet boy, that has made some bad decisions in life (who hasn't), and I just want him to wake up so he Knows how much he is loved. obviously this is one of those life changing experiences for Mike and his family, and i can see God's hand in every second of this journey. Yesterday Mike started breathing on his own, and the ventilator was doing minimal work.... the "Lung Wash" was a success, and his lungs are on their way to healing. They are still keeping Mike so sedated, we haven't seen any movement, or acknowledgement that Mike is aware of his surroundings since last Sunday before he went into Respiratory Arrest, So if the tube comes out of his throat today......... he'll be taken off a lot of his drugs.......and hopefully his mom and dad can see he is okay. He has been alert for the Nurses, but they seem to do it when family isn't around.......because Mike is in a lot of pain, and panics and "gags" with the intubation tube down his throat.

I was going to go to Amish Country with Christina today, But , I think Bill and I are going to go at some point to Pittsburgh to see Mike, and if Doug wants me with him today (he mentioned he might like to take me with him) well that is where i should be, and want to be....... I want to tell Mike that i love him.

Kimmie is coming tomorrow........ can't wait

Well i should get going, I call the hospital in the mornings, and then Doug calls me........and I update him....

Thank you all so much for your prayers.......... so many wonderful people in this world........ there really are!!!!

Remembering Melody

today marks the one year date of when Melody left this earth and became an Angel. Time moves on, life moves on. I have been praying peace for her family. I am sure Christmas was difficult missing such a beautiful family/friend. It's not like, okay "grieving is over, it's been a year" I am sure every Christmas will have a small piece of emptiness forever. but the year of firsts are over...... Melody, does a year seem like a minute to you in Heaven? I know that you are fine, and I know that all though we never met on Earth, i know you've become an important part in my life!!! I can truly say, that even knowing your memory, and what kind of women you were, has changed my life for the good. And I Thank you for it. Chad, Melody's husband asked that we remember Melody with a moment of silence at Noon today....

This past Christmas for me, was filled with very different emotions. I did remember Melody..... but i also have been dealing with the Life and Death situation of my Nephew. Mike, is still holding his own. He is still in a "coma" and it has been 5 days. We haven't seen movement or "signs" of life from him since this happened. The nursing staff has. and in the past 48 hours have been nothing but positive improvement. There is just a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I don't think that will go away until he wakes up, and breaths on his own. I woke up at 2:30 am last night, almost in a panic attack about Michael, and i ended up getting pretty worked up......... and then I remembered that God is in Control, and how i feel and think have absolutely NOTHING to do with Mike getting better. i had to be thankful the phone did not ring in the middle of the night, i have to be thankful that Michael is alive and fighting, I have to be thankful that all news in the past 2 days have been positive...... i have to be still and let God be God!!! I will call the hospital this morning for an update on Mikes progress. Continue your prayers, I want my Nephew to wake up!!!!

Roller coaster Ride............

Well, last night was up and down as far as Michael's condition was concerned. Everything was going really well..... and just suddenly. he went down hill,his lungs stopped processing the oxygen to the blood... so they did an emergency placement of a chest tube...... they told my brother for the next 24 hours he was Critical and could go either way.... they stayed with him all night! This morning it was good news, that his o2 level in his blood went from 89% to 92% (it is very important that this number stays above 90) last night they found a couple holes blown in his R lung........... very likely from the paramedics forcing high pressure air into his lungs to try and save his life (This gave Mike the chance to live). so again up swing.......... well at 8am, he was loosing O2 yet again... and they found holes in his L lung... so a second chest tube placement to remove the air from around the lung...... "a down swing"!!! Finally many hours later Michael stabilized........ and since this morning has been nothing but positive improvement...... His O2 sats in his blood have been 98-99% normal. Earlier in the AM the Ventilator was producing 100% of his oxygen, at Lunch time only 60% and by this evening 50%. The ventilator is working for him, but now Mike seems to be starting to breath beyond the ventilator......... so all is good!!!! and again, for this moment, I will rejoice.......... I just want him to wake up again, I want him to know how much he is loved...... funny, you don't realize how much you love someone, until something like this reminds you what life would be like with out him around.... My kids are so close to Mike...... they sure are missing him right now..... Keep resting Mike, keep getting stronger...... and keep fighting

Merry Christmas Michael,~ Happy Birthday Jesus

Christmas eve Michael was life flighted to West Penn Hospital in Pittsburgh.... the smaller hospital could not handle him or his case any longer. They had a tough time trying to keep him sedated, yet try and wake him up..... and Mike was left sorta in the middle.... which didn't work out. As of now he NEED's the ventilator. His lungs are so weak, and he can't transfer and move the oxygen without the vent.. He has severe left lobe pneumonia, and he has oxygen surrounding the outside of his lungs.. (layman's terms) He is exactly where he should be.

My brother wanted me to go to the hospital with him today....... he's been absolutely insane since this happened.....understandably so.

Michael remains in Critical but stable condition. West Penn placed him in a "deeper" coma, and he is on paralytic drugs.... they said his lungs are so weak and damaged......they need rest for the next 24-48 hours. So this is a VERY good thing for young Mike. We understand the longer on the ventilator, the harder to wean, but this is the best option for Michael. The photo is me giving Mike a kiss, since he was little, we always had a joke about "Aunt Sandi" hugs and kisses, and he'd pretend to just hate them... and i used to have to chase him for them. When he wakes up......he is going to really get a kick out of this picture.

As you can tell, i do look pretty happy in this photo, but at this moment he is stable, kidneys, heart, and liver working beautiful. Brain function is 100%. So for this moment i will rejoice and give Thanks to God for the small but mighty miracles.. Please continue to pray for him, as obviously he is not out of the woods yet....

Christmas has been quiet and peaceful. I've been thinking about my other nephew and his family out in Oregon....... and for this, I can't totally celebrate and be joyful. But I can be thankful... and humbled on the day of Jesus' birth..........

love and blessings to all

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so much for the roller coast ride...........up............ well it lasted 3 hours. my brother just got the call to get back to the hospital, Mike took a turn for the worse....... they are going to put the chest tube in now......as the air is now expanding to the abdominal cavity... pray pray pray

For those who believe in prayer

I didn't feel like getting on the computer last night, But i need prayers for my 21 year old nephew Michael. He has been dealing with a cold/cough for several weeks. He was just trying to work through it, because he just started a job 3 months ago, and has to wait 3 more months before he has health insurance. Well yesterday he seemed to be getting worse.... I spoke with my brother, and it was decided he needed to go to the ER to be checked..... Michael insisted he was "okay". 10 minutes after our phone conversation, Mike asked his dad to call an Ambulance, a few minutes after my brother called 911, my nephew stopped breathing! just before he went unconscious, he used all of his strength to stand up, hug his dad, and say I love you!!!! My heart is just breaking, My brother is an absolute mess........ It was estimated that Mike went 3-5 minutes without air. He was stabilized at the hospital...... he is on a ventilator, and in Critical but stable condition..... We do not know if there is any brain damage ...... we are optimistic at this point, that he will be okay They never gave him a chance to "wake" up from his unconscious state, they immediately gave him drugs to keep him in a coma to give his body a chance to rest. They said they would keep him that way for 24 hours..... The body is an amazing thing, I don't believe his heart ever stopped...... therefore, what little oxygen that was left in him......went to his brain!!! So please pray pray pray...... that this boy is going to be okay!! Donna his mom was down in Florida when all this happened, she returned via air last night...... ICU was going to let her see him at midnight....

Mike has always had breathing/asthma problems since he was a baby... my brother, his wife, my niece, and my nephew all smoke....... this is the worse thing for acute Asthma, now my brother said, Mike had been so sick for the past few days that he didn't even smoke.... i am hoping that this is a wake up call for Mike, and maybe his family. Understand, i am not judging, because in reality, it is not much different than me overeating, knowing that it can /will hurt my heart. or a diabetic that eats sugars.

My brother was so upset during this, Christina and I were delivering cookies that we made, and my phone was left in the car. Doug was frantically trying to get a hold of me..... i had dozens of missed calls in a 15 minute period, he wanted me with him, i couldn't leave his side....... it's almost like he thought i could just "save" Mike. I stayed with Mike in the ER and when he got settled in ICU.... I stayed tough......didn't break down.... asked all the "right" questions. And then late last night, I finally cracked...... i just lost it!!! and then it dawned on me...... Since my mom died almost 8 years ago..... Early in life i became the Matriarch of the family, my brother was looking at me for comfort, and support....in his mind, it was like he thought of me as a motherly figure......and that I would make it better....... and guess what, I can't make it better!!!! I can just pray, pray that God holds Michael tight........and that Mike will wake up Okay............ all i can do is Pray

Growing pains, mine or theirs?????

Here is a photo of my two 16 year old boys before the Christmas dance....... they look so handsome and sweet don't they? But let me tell you, this is a tough age for me to parent. I have to protect them, and yet give them enough "rope" to hang themselves with. They seem to hang themselves quite well right now. They are not 18 yet. and they still live in my home, therefore i can still control them!!! But i must say they are getting mouthier and mouthier...... and I love them tons!! Andrew is at a period right now where he thinks he is invincible, and nothing could happen to him..... well something DID happen to him 4 months ago, and just now he seems to be recovering.... he doesn't understand why i won't let him run 4 miles in the dark on back trails right now.... we actually had a pretty good fight about that.... a trip and fall in the dark and cold, a bump on the head, a bear, or a bobcat, and anything else.... he is getting smart trying to play me and his dad, and he knows his dad is a softy sometimes. But Albert and I communicate, everyday, sometimes several times a day about the kids. so we do know what is going on!!! Bill tends to be stricter, and wants me to pull the ropes even tighter. But that won't work either...... like I said, i have to find a balance of keeping my children safe/ and making them grow up. in 2 years they will be 18 and then you just gotta pray! I realize boys grow up a little later than that, so it's just hold your breath, and wait and see.... and remember, God just lent them to you in the first place. Ah, my boys are growing up!!! And i got to get ready to let them go...... i don't know which is harder????

Speaking of Growing up.......... Sammy my "baby" turned 13 yesterday. i officially have 4 teenagers living in my home. We took him and one of his friends and hung out at the zoo yesterday...... i had the greatest time. that was the first time I ever went to the zoo during off season hours, and it was great. We had the place almost to ourselves.... and the animals were so frisky in the cool weather. usually in the summer it is so hot and crowded and smelly with bugs everywhere. then we went shopping for a few things. I babysat my nephew last night. and went to curves and then final Christmas shopping this afternoon....... so I think I am done.

I have some cool photos of the zoo.......I'll try and post later.

love and blessings to all..... p.s. Chris, thanks for letting me go to Curves today...... you didn't give me an option.......and that is a good thing

Christmas Spirit......

yup, that is what I am feeling right now!!! and for all of the right reasons, for various reasons we aren't doing a "big" Christmas with tons of presents under the tree.... we as a family decided to give up a little this year...... and with the Sadness of my nephew's death... just new...... it is a reminder to me how truly precious life is, and how blessed I am having my family around me. a quiet time, a time of thankfulness, a time to enjoy family and friends..... Christmas day, I don't even plan on getting out of my PJ's. I am making a brunch........ with a recipe from an old bed and breakfast in Vermont...... baked blueberry french toast, and an egg type dish/bake, fresh muffins, sausage, bacon, fiber and flax seed toast, hot tea, coffee, and hot chocolate....... we are going to lounge around all day, reading and watching old Christmas movies. Albert will take the kids to his parents to eat dinner, Bill may go to his sisters house, and I'll get to stay at home allllllllllll day!!!!. .......ahhhhh it sounds like Peace to me!!!

I am thrilled that Kim is doing so well with her eye surgery. Bill offered to take her home for the holidays if she didn't get the okay to drive! we weren't going to let her miss Christmas at home!!! but she IS going to hang her for a few days for News Year Eve with Us. My entire family has gotten attached to her and are looking forward to her coming for a visit.

Patti , Kim and I have decided that your husband is very ruggedly handsome...... and you two look gorgeous together......oh Kim said more, but........shhhh her mom reads this blog (Hi Kim's mom, i am going to meet you soon, and i am looking forward to it......thanks for the comment on my blog, i loved hearing from you).

Kellie, you know I love ya girl......... and Nathan and your family are always on my mind...and my prayers....... soon as winter stops we are coming up there to take you out girl..... (me, Kimmie, and Christina) so get ready......... for lots of laughs......... we seem to do that a lot lately.

Curves tomorrow morning, and Saturday...........i really would like to walk outside soon...... weather doesn't bother me.........so why am I not doing it??? gee, no reason!!! Melody, i gotta get myself in gear....... i remember you, I will not forget my promise.... we are getting close to the 1 year anniversary since you became an angel!!! I pray that God holds your family tight during this sad time.... you Melody......have changed my life for the good........ and i am not even talking health wise, but attitude and strength!!!

time for bed for me............ love to all my friends out there...... I love how God knows better than we do when he puts people in our lives!!!

The walking stick!!!!

well my Christmas party is over...... and it was a success. I didn't stress, I didn't kill myself to have a spotless house. I didn't over cook,... wow it is taking me awhile but i think i am finally getting it.
Christina.... your family is truly my family in every way.... and I love you all so much.

The hit of the evening was giving my father in law his gift. If you remember i had a walking stick made for him in honor of his grandchildren.... it was a very personal gift. of course we couldn't wrap this stick up to disguise it too well...... so I typed him a message and wrapped in up in a box,....... it said, I tried really hard to get your present in this box, i really tried, it just wouldn't fit. so if you would please close your eyes and count to 10 really slow. You are the best. ......
then my daughter went and got the stick, and he opened his eyes... and just looked at it...... didn't say a word.... and then he read: A grandpaps love is forever! and then the names of all of his grandchildren below that. Including the grandson he lost a few weeks ago, and Corey, the foster boy that nobody wanted that he "adopted" when he came to live with us. This precious man is truly my FAVORITE man on this earth! even including my wonderful husband! this man loves his family completely, passionately, and with all of his being...... you'd have to just know him to understand. The pain he is feeling right now, I guess none can truly understand. He started to cry........and i mean he just broke down. the house was so quiet, and as i looked around i noticed several of my brothers crying too....... to see this man cry!! but the words on this stick said it all........ and Grandpaps love IS forever. and even death can't separate the love he has for his grandchildren/ what a beautiful way to remember Alex., and honor the grandchildren living . "pappy Al" when I married Albert almost 20 years ago..... you became my father in law, when my dad died almost 14 years ago you became my father. and when Albert and I divorced almost 9 years ago....... you remained my father! I'll always think of you as such.......and i will always love you!!!!

Blessed!!!!!

Yup, that is just what I am feeling right now! Blessed to have the family that I have. Blessed to have the friends that I have. I don't think I'd trade my life for any other life out there in all honesty.

Kim called and let me know that everything went really well.....they took the bandages off and she could see.... Thank you God for this miracle, how amazing that doctors can take a donor cornea and place it on someone else..........and it knows exactly what to do!!!!

The house is modestly decorated this year, nothing outside yet other than the wreath!!! but that is okay. Family is coming to the house tomorrow, for our annual Christmas Party.... and i am not getting too worked up, actually I am not getting worked up at all!!! What will be-will be!!! Bill and I were going to do a road trip on Sunday, but it was toward Erie, and snow and Ice.... so we scrapped that plan. Bill may be off again on Monday. I am doing a ham, and stuffed shells for Saturday, and I should get the shell done and ready tonight...... so i just have to put it in the oven.... so no stress there........ everyone else is bringing a covered dish, so the brunt isn't on me.

last year at this time i was 5 days post op from major foot surgery....... my foot has healed well. and i am so thankful for that.

It was during this time last year that Melody was coming down to her final days on Earth!!! I am praying that the families can find comfort and peace somehow this year. And Alex's family is just trying to get by day to day.......as his death is so new..... I guess I can see why this time of the year is such a contrast of joy and despair!!! yes the lights, the presents, the parties, the decorating, the tree's, Santa, little children, baking, smells of sugar cookies, pine, and Cinnamon in the air, Christmas Carole's..... this is all joyful!!! but for the many out there that has suffered such a tragic loss, the death of a loved one, the homeless, the lonely, the sick, the poor....... Christmas time magnifies what they do not have. We must all try and remember the day Christmas began......... was a quiet night, cold and dark. the stable was warm from the radiating heat from the animals, the smell of hay and manure mixed together permeated the air, and the soft cries of a baby lying in the manger, the gift offered to all... the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak, the joyful and the depressed. This gift doesn't recognize social status or wealth.... what a gift!!!

well today is my last day at work for a few weeks, and I hope to take advantage of that. I did go to Curves today and that is a good thing..... I know they will be starting the nutrition classes in January, I'd like to join again. so informative and it really makes you accountable too.

love and blessing to you all, but i should get to work

Quick update on our buddy Kimmie

Just spoke with Kimmie, and she is groggy, but surgery went really well without complications, she sounded pretty good....... much loopier than normal....but we are talking about Kim. She goes tomorrow morning at 8am to have the bandages removed....... she'll call me when she gets out of that, with more of how the surgery went......... pray for victory when the bandages are removed.

Cliff, you are a great brother...... she adores her family that is for sure.

I'll post more tomorrow, but for now, i am tired.......and I am going to bed.

I love you guys.

p.s. Jessie, i remember you from when you were a little girl......you've grown up to be a beautiful young woman (saw your picture on Alex's my space)

post longer tomorrow

This and That........

Well, I did put the Christmas tree up yesterday... guess who picked out the tree? 8 years ago when Albert left me, who would have ever thought he'd be picking out the Christmas tree years later? Not me! Yes Albert my X, and my youngest son Sammy went and got the tree this year. And it is one of the most beautiful trees we've had. It stands past 10 feet tall. i have it decorated with hundreds of colored lights....... and a history of ornaments. Ornaments that the kids made, ornaments that i made as a child. Some ornaments that my grandma had many many years ago. There are angels, and Santa, and snowmen, doves and bird nest, and just a plethora of objects in many colors. If you like "uniform" trees, or trees with a theme........well this isn't one of them.... but this tree is me, me and my family! it represents the mixture in my home....... me, a husband, an X husband , three kids that I gave birth too, the kid i got from the "foster system"....and who ever else that "stays" for a given reason.


Saturday Was Bill and My anniversary, we have been married 6 years. it doesn't seem that long already. It's a good thing that most of the time, i still enjoy being around him. And actually today he took off work, we are going to do some Christmas shopping, go out to eat, and just hang out!!! I was supposed to spend the day with Christina baking cookies, but i think Andrew is going down if he can ,to give her a hand. that boy loves loves loves her.........sometimes i think he loves "Christina" more than me..... but hey what can I say, he made a great choice.

My kids this year, are truly in the Christmas spirit.... and not concerned about "getting" things this year. We are working on a project for this season. and they are all into it.

well i better go and get ready to spend a wonderful day with Bill

Kim just 2 more days.......i am praying for ya. Kellie, I am praying that the MRI gives you the info you need, and i pray for Nathan all the time

I love all of you guys.

Snow Snow Snow

yup, that's what it's doing in my neck of the woods.........even more than snow than what you are getting Kimmie..... and we only live 35 minutes away,(if you don't factor in traffic) Kim, including today you only have 5 days to wait until the day of your surgery...... i am getting so nervous and excited for you... but as we all know, God is in control, and he knows exactly how to handle this!!!

Andrew had an appointment this week... and it went great, He just breezed by the testing. and the part that test how the Frontal lobe is working, jumped by 24% to 70%. he is definitely going the right direction. The doctors don't want to push the back to school just yet. He has like 10 school days before the holiday vacation.... He is now working several hours a day at home to catch up, So hopefully when the new year comes, Andrew will be ready to get back to school.

Sammy was so sick on Mon/Tues he had a fever, along with stomach flu. that is what seems to be going around here. well then I got it weds night and Thursday. and actually today I am just really weak, and still have the runs, but no more fever, or vomiting! Weds night, i took a bonine (for motion sickness/nausea) and i must say first it made me so tired, and then i got so loopy, and then i guess i got what you'd call a hangover (not exactly sure how hangovers are supposed to feel) but i got this headache, and blah feeling.

I did decorate for Christmas a couple days ago........and I am glad that i did. i feel that ultimately I am still in control of my happiness. and yes i am so so sad about Alex, and what his family is going through. BUT if Bob and Gail can pull out their decorations and force themselves to live for the sake of the children that did not die, how dare anyone else even remotely complain about not feeling like it. God Bless and Be with this precious family at Christmas time!!!

Well my stomach is acting up right now......... i feel so much rumbling and grumbling i think I'll cut this short. i work today and tomorrow, so maybe I'll post more later.

love you

Only Patti, only Patti

Only Patti can take a process, and change that "process" three more times before she gets it to just the right plan for her.......but those who know Patti, Love her!!!

I haven't been blogging as much lately. And I haven't even started decorating for Christmas yet!! and if I can be honest, I don't really feel like it right now.
I know that I am no longer a Frassenei, but i can't get Alex and his family out of my mind! he will ALWAYS be my nephew. I can't imagine how his parents and immediate family are dealing with this. I am finding that my quiet moments are when I think about it the most!!! before i fall asleep, when i wake up, and several times in between!!! I hear the pain in his Grandparents voices and I just know how much his parents value their Children.... it's unthinkable the pain and emptiness that they must feel. Alex little boy, you have suddenly made me look at Christmas time in a new light, you truly have....... suddenly making sure my kids get the biggest and best gifts are not a priority, or if I have the house decorated perfect, or going deep into debt to buy buy buy......that is NOT what it is about. I have my children with me, I have a warm beautiful home, I have friends that mean the world to me, and i have a kitchen full of food.... What more on this earth could i possibly want?? Before Alex died, I was so worried about what and how i was going to get this and that for Christmas, worried about minor dilemmas dealing with the annual Christmas Party.... already feeling overwhelmed by everything that "has" to be done. And suddenly i realize how quickly a life can change, how quickly someone can leave this Earth..........and suddenly the problems of yesterday, are really not a problem at all!!! And i know a broken family in Oregon, that would switch me "problems" any day.

Well tomorrow Andrew heads back to Pittsburgh to meet up with one of his doctors. Hoping things go well for him. I think I am going to do Curves tomorrow evening, Thursday Morning and Sat morning, well at least that is the plan.... Sammy is sick today, and he is still at the age that he wants his mama. I had to come to work, so Aunt Lou came up to be with him.

Oh, my father-in-laws, (i hate saying X father-in-law) Christmas gift is finished... I don't know if I mentioned it on past blogs, but Pap Al was helping me with my walking stick that I've been working on.... it is a staff that I use for hiking, maybe you've seen them at Craft shows. Big Al wanted one for when he goes berry picking and such..... So i thought I'd have one made and Personalized. I had Carved into the walking stick the saying " a grandpas love is forever"
and underneath, i had all the grand kids names engraved starting with the oldest /first grandchild, and ending with my foster son, who they have "adopted" and treat as their own.

Ashley
Alex
Katie
Andrew
Seth
Samuel
Tyler
Gabriella
Corey

I just thought it would be cool to do this, to honor Alex, and let the world know, that Death can't break the bond of Love that family has for one another.

oh gee, i am so sappy, i gotta get over this........

It's so quiet here.....

Bill and Albert took all the kids to the hockey game tonight, And i am left all alone. I am not feeling the greatest, and Bill felt bad for leaving me, until i assured him, i was going to shower , and curl up and watch Christmas movies in a very quiet house. I don't get this too often, so i do take advantage. last month was a very light easy period, (sorry if any males read this), and this month, is making up for it.........let me tell you. I am miserable, and lets just say, I need to stay very close to the bathroom.

I've been thinking about Alex, my nephew, a lot lately!!! As i said before, in my mind he is still a little boy.....with blond curly hair, the prettiest eyes and lips.... and a sunshiny disposition. Although through the years, with him moving to Oregon, and Albert and I divorcing.... i want him to know, I've always thought about him, and asked about him, and kept up with him through grandma and grandpa and Katie. And i did see him the last time he visited. As he got older, he didn't come home with his family as often!!! ...... Oh Alex, hope you are having fun in heaven buddy. Katie said you guys will always be cousins with that special childhood connection ( she used different wording of course )

well i am feeling pretty crampy, so i think I'll go and lie down and use the heating pad..... and wait for my family to come home...

Have a safe weekend everyone

sadness on Thanksgiving.

I was getting ready to do the Thanksgiving Blog at 8 this morning...... i even started it with....... what a beautiful day and so much to be Thankful for........... and then the phone rings, it is my X husband calling to tell me that my nephew, was killed in a Car accident last night. He was the same age as Katie, (just turned 18 in September) and he was our neighbor for the first 6 years of his life. He and Katie were inseparable before he moved to Oregon 13 years ago. what a punch in the stomach. I feel for the grandparents, and his parents, and he has a 14 year old brother and a 8 year old sister. Alex , a blond haired, blue eyed, sweet sweet boy no longer with Us. Katie took it the hardest, these days with computers and my space, and Verizon to Verizon cell phones.... it was easy to keep in touch. I can't imagine the pain that his mom feels....... I try, but i just can't. She is an awesome mom. How do you go on? How do you ever find joy again? How do you try and go on for the kids left behind?........ the sadness....... Alex, I'll always be your Aunt, and I'll always remember the little blond boy........giggling and laughing with Katie!!! I love you.

Happy Halloween................ Merry Christmas!!!!!

A few weeks ago the store shelves were filled with bright orange and black, pumpkins and witches, skeletons and ghosts, blood and "guts.....and then on November First, green and red took over, Santa and Snowmen, evergreen trees and ornaments, fake snow and lights!!!! well, it is bad enough that we took Christ out of Christmas, but to take "Thanks" out of giving now!!! What is happening to Us? Our world is moving faster and faster!!! and where do we hold on? (Hey i wrote a little poem about that years ago, when i felt the world was getting so scary). Yeah maybe we can't change the entire world over night, but we can start with our lives, our home. Instead of give me, give me, and I want, I need!!!! start saying Thank you, I have.... , what can I give to you? what can I do for you?
Thanksgiving was my moms favorite holiday of the year, and when i was younger, I just couldn't understand that. first off, you don't get presents on Thanksgiving, you don't go door to door getting candy either!!!! you don't receive cute little red heart shaped cards. and gee there aren't any fireworks to ohhhhh and awwwwwwwwww over!!! Thanksgiving for my mom, was getting up at 3am to put the 20 lb turkey in the oven, even though you just went to bed at 1am after making 10 pies.... i came from a big family with little money....... but we had food. and my mom was an awesome cook. my mom spent her life being thankful for what she had, she was thankful that we were all there to sit around the table. she was thankful for the food daddy put on the table. She didn't have to stress abut presents, or decorations, or shopping!!! Now that I am older, I understand how truly important Thanksgiving is. God Thank you for all that you have done for me. Bill Thank you for always putting me first. Kids Thank you for loving me for no reason other than I am your mom. And my Friends Thank you for being such an important part of my life
Ahhhhhhhhh, Thanksgiving.........my cup is overflowing!!!!

The result of a positive attitude

okay........ so last week, the washing machine stopped working, the dryer stopped working (almost). The van's check engine light was on (actually it came on the day before heading to Joyce Meyer). and the engine was sounding really really bad.. Then Katie lost the brakes while driving the other car. ... So at first i was overwhelmed, and started to worry about what I was going to do being as our finances aren't leaving us tons of extra money. Andrew's improved status, did a nose dive down hill.... After I decided that I wasn't going to let Satan take away my joy, after i realized i was in control with how i dealt with these issues....... after I truly trusted God................ after I gave these problems to Him, .............. well let me tell you how things panned out over the past few days. 1.) the Van check engine life went off, the noise decreased by 80% 4 days ago. 2.) When Chris' husband Larry came to replace the pump on the washing machine it was found that it was just a bobby pin stuck in the pump.... removed bobby pin....... washing machine works fine. 3) Dryer's very loud noise when turned on has disappeared. 4) the second car, a day before we were going to have it towed, X husband checked and found a small leak in the brake lines........ easy, cheap fix. He did himself. 5.)Andrew woke up Friday morning at 9:30am after sleeping basically since Tuesday afternoon. (he'd wake up, but couldn't stay awake for any length of time) His headache and dizziness was gone. he was even able to have his weekly breakfast at Christina's. All I can say is Thank you God!!!

bad news.......good news, bad news........good news!!!!

well,BAD NEWS is.......... The car that Katie uses, yesterday while she was driving on a major highway, the brakes quit... i mean 100% no brakes, she was driving about 60 miles an hour, and she went to slow down because a car was turning in front of her, and the brakes where gone... GOOD NEWS, she was able to ride on the side of the road, and pump the brakes enough to slow the car down, she was able to eventually stop the car on the side of the road. She wasn't injured, and she prevented an accident. (thank you God)
BAD NEWS, Andrew has greatly regressed since he tried the one day of back to school. he went to school on Tuesday, came home from school and has basically slept until noon today. he has a bad headache, extreme dizziness, foggy mind, he can't even watch TV right now. He is now back to home schooling as tolerated until at least mid December. GOOD NEWS, the prognosis is and remains excellent,. His physicians warned that this could happen if he wasn't careful about listening to the signals of his body. Andrew wanted so bad to be back to normal, that he pushed himself too hard, and as a way for the brain to "protect" it self while healing...... it stopped working for him. We all tried to tell Drew, to go slow, tell someone when your head feels funny......etc... but we must remember, He is still just 16. and kids tend to think they are Invincible... hopefully he has learned his lesson. As mom and dads we are going to have to be more diligent in making sure we monitor how Andrew is doing, and what he is doing...

well i am going to get going right now, I went to Curves today and loved it. I am working hard again, and it feels sooooooooooo good.

....and this is why I love him ........

right now after a 9 hour work day, my husband comes home and goes directly to the local laundry mat to wash....... almost 10 loads of laundry!!! because he thinks i've been too busy working too. and he doesn't want me down there by myself... now understand i live in a little country town, that the worst crime to date was probably when kids broke into the high school and set off fire extinquishers. This is what Love really is!! in his eyes, it's all about Me!!!!, and who am i to complain??? I am just comfortable with him. and yes I like being around him.. we grocery shop together, and watch football games together, we watch House Hunters together, we bet on which house they will purchase. . . . . . . . . . . it's hard to believe that we will be married 6 years in a couple of weeks. ... he can be such a pain sometimes, once he get's upset about something he can hold on to that for like........ever!!! but if he can as a rule, over look my faults, i guess i can do the same for him. now understand this didn't happen over night, it's a process that couples have to work on.........marriage ain't easy!!!

wow i have two days in a row off, wait, three days!!! yeah i work Saturday and then I am off for 10 days during Thanksgiving break.... I'd like to get organized to do some backing and cooking.

Andrew did pretty good his first day back, he came home with a pretty good headache, and couldn't do his tutoring today......actually he hasn't left the couch all evening! this is what is to be expected, he wants to be Mr. Tough guy, who can't tell the teacher he is getting dizzy!!! which in turn ended up being a pretty nasty head ache. It will come, but i guess we all need to be patient.

I am loving being back at Curves.........this place is just so awesome...... i have been sporatic at best the past 2 months.... and i must say, i do like my Yoga tape, only did like 15 minutes yesterday....... but it too is a slow process building my flexibility and endurance back up.

Well if I get off work early, I will go down and help Bill fold/dry/load clothes. Albert has a washer/dryer at his house that isn't used....... ( his mom does his laundry......., even when he stays at his house sometimes).......and I wonder why our marriage had problems, he's always loved his mom more than me. well anyhow Albert told Bill he could use his washer/dryer.. yes since those two started working together, i feel so left out (I am joking here) But seriously my kids are so dang lucky, that is all that I can say.

Have a good day, a good evening, a good life.

p.s. I think Christina might just like Joyce Meyer, she watched her this morning......... i think she liked what she heard Kim...

~~Andrew goes to school tomorrow!~~

I spent a part of my morning at the high school, one, discussing how to get my son's (Corey) geometry grade up, and two, talking with the Principal and faculty about Andrew. This school has been awesome dealing with Andrew. they are literally putting out the red carpet for this boy... they've moved classes around, changed teachers, deleted some classes....they have worked it out that he will have breaks in between each class. subjects like Chemistry, that require a lot of brain power, he will be able to use open book policy even for test. He will have a tutor in school as well as an evening tutor at home to help with his school work and projects. for a while he will have 1/2 days. I will be picking him up before noon!!! Wow, and Dilemma 2007 at the Blystone household is coming to a close!! I am blessed.

Actually i am doing great........ is my washing machine still broke? yup! Is my clothes dryer ready to crash? yup! Is my car's check engine light on? yup!, does the car make a really really funny noise? yup! Is our Car Insurance, house Insurance, and property taxes due ? yup!! ...... And I just figure that it will work out. it always does, my husband has been offered unlimited overtime right now, a thing that never happens. I keep getting called to "take" days for co workers.... actually picking up one tomorrow too. My husband and daughter and son Corey has offered to take all the clothes to the laundry mat and wash them while i am at work tomorrow. You know all about Christina, but she has this equally wonderful husband, whom i adore!!! Larry is one of those men, who in my eyes .......seems to be able to do anything and everything, and can do nothing wrong!!! Not counting my hubby Bill, my X father in law, and Chris' husband are the top 2 of my favorite guy list. and of course if my daddy were still alive, he'd be up there too. When Albert first left me, i was clueless, scared, and lost about things........ It was Larry who kept an eye on my car for me, or came up and checked why i didn't have water coming out of the faucet, or plowed my driveway when it snowed a foot..... Now that i have my wonderful husband Bill........who knows slightly more than my nothing, we both rely on Larry to Check our washing machine out/ tell us the part we need/ and then fix it! Bill always checks with Larry before he attempts anything on the house. (Larry is the one that did our family room, and added on our master suite) When an appliance needs installed, we get Larry! I truly don't know what I'd do with out that family. That is why I'd do just about anything for them!!!

So i guess it really is all about Attitude! and I guess although i cannot control everything breaking down around me. I can control my reaction to it! And i can Look to the Heavens and be thankful for my life, trials and all.............. gee I bet Satan hates that!!!

if it seems the fates are against you today.... they probably are!!!!

It wasn't my greatest morning this morning. And i found myself overwhelmed and easy to tears. To begin with my washing machine isn't working right, it turns on and rotates, but it doesn't spin the water out :(, now this really upset me. this week I was behind on laundry working all the evening shifts and all of Drew's appointments. and you have to understand, I can't get behind in laundry at my house....or we may all get lost. So i am thinking, gee how can this break, we don't have the funds right now for a washing machine....... and i began to worry and dread. BUT i did go to Curves today, and hanging with Christina is always a pick me up!!! and she helps me to put life in perspective when i get so down!!! So I work out at Curves, it feels pretty good, and then we figure out that I could go to Chris' house and do some laundry this morning. So I get in my car, wouldn't you know, it doesn't want to run right, the engine light is coming on......but it sounds really really bad!! .... "i just want to cry". had a nice time doing laundry at Christina's. ..... so i see this fortune cookie on the table, and i had an urge to read it, knowing it was my fortune of the day.....so her son Mike reads it to me........... and what do you think it said??? ".... if it seems the fates are against you today, they probably are!" I had to laugh... how many fortune cookies give negative messages.......... not many!!! I should have just crawled back into bed right then. So i get home, and there was one load of laundry that i didn't dry.......so i put them in my dryer.......and would you believe it didn't work either now........ what gives!!! However in the mean time, I put my problems in perspective today... so.......... I raised my fist in the air, and I yelled out loud, " Satan you can't take away my joy, God is in control of my life!!!" I am feeling better, Andrew is doing great, I have this awesome pain in the butt husband who loves me, I have the greatest friends in the world. I have a beautiful warm home, we may be a little tight financially right now, but we pay our bills, we have good food for the table, we have a little extra to order pizza, or go out to eat every now and then. My foot feels great, i am having no problem ( last year at this time, i could barely walk) My blood work came back perfect!!! I am sitting here at my job that i love, it's so quiet, most of the kids are off campus for the weekend, So i am reading a good book, drinking warm chamomile mint tea, eating a snack of an apple and Cheddar cheese.... i realize how blessed I am!!!

tomorrow I actually have a day off, I got to figure out how to wash my clothes...and I'd like to do my Yoga tape. but that is it......... The kids are going to their grandparents for dinner, so it's just Bill and Me for a while,....... i am sure he will have plan's of his own........ football!!!!

Yoga, And Sore Muscles.... is that possible??

You know when you think of Yoga........ you really don't think of "working" your body out. but oh you do, in such a different way. ... and my muscles are hurting, but not the way they were hurting before, and I don't know how to explain it. it's like okay, I've been shallow breathing for like ever..... and all of the sudden I am doing this exercises that require me to take in deep breaths, you know the kind....... "feel your self breathe, feel the breath coming from the tailbone".........um, since when do you breathe from your tailbone??? hey but if you concentrate, really concentrate, you can feel as your lungs expand...., you can almost imagine, as your spine lengthens that just maybe, just maybe the tailbone IS breathing!! So past couple of days I've been forcing my lungs to expand, and i have been holding this position and taking almost 30-40 seconds to release one breath. I really believe that I am feeling better. Am drinking so many fluids...... lots of water, I've stopped the diet soda, (don't think that is good for you any more than regular soda is ) today at work I am drinking mini pots of herbal tea, right now its chamomile and mint, and hey didn't even use splenda, and didn't realize i didn't use it until after the pot of tea was already done. I may work late tonight, and if i do, i brought the yoga for weight loss tape with me, but i am thinking maybe i shouldn't do this everyday yet?? i will have to check this out, i know when i weight lift, i need a day in between to rest the muscles. Also, If i don't work late, I plan on going to Curves a few days early. I am feeling better, and I am not coughing hardly at all. So instead of Monday, I was thinking about going tomorrow morning.

Hey Patti, you know how for years, you worked at getting your body healthy, loosing sizes ..... and you kept plugging along... but it was a time when it just "clicked". well for my buddy Christina....... it just clicked for her, and she looks great. oh she's been working at it, and she's been exercising..... for years. Well lately these pants that she kept in her closet, are fitting her..... and she's really just learning to eat smart..... I am so proud of her~~~ wait until you meet her Patti, you two will get along, i just know it.

the Curves Nutrition plan is really a sound plan, with easy to follow directions it's all about lean protein, complex carbs, eating frequently, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. It's about learning to read labels and know that all "whole wheat" breads are NOT created equal. It's about drinking water, and exercising..... and loving yourself in the process


Okay on another topic............. GREAT NEWS!!!! Andrew had his last day of Therapy today(vestibular therapy) it was intense therapy, and the last time he went he got sick. the therapist said she'd like to train other area therapist to learn vestibular therapy, but the one machine alone cost well over $120,000 It is a bugger to get to this part of Pittsburgh, and it's at least 45 minutes away and I told his therapist I'd of brought him 7 days a week if I had too!!! It is awesome to know that after the accident, and when they figured out that when one eye focused, the other went in a different direction, that the EYES could be trained to work together again. So Andrew has this triangle of help, His concussion specialist, His headache specialist, and Vestibular therapist........ and they all work together for the best interest of Andrew. Now Andrew may have only went weekly to the therapist, but he had lots of "homework" and exercising that he had to do twice a day when he didn't go... why am i rambling again, I'm just happy right now, and my happiness is well deserved, but there is a slight shadow in my joy..... and i am remembering beautiful Nathan, and his difficulties. I've just drank a teaspoon out of the gallon of hardship that Nathan and his family must feel. And I am humbled with this knowledge!!! I was told from the very beginning that Andrew would get better....... the time frame could of been 2 weeks to a year, BUT the prognosis was almost 100% healing. Nathan's family doesn't have that prognosis, actually these people don't really even know what to expect.. they have to just take one day at a time, the good and the bad. Please Please Please keep Kellie and her family in your prayers.

Well I should go and work...........since i am at work!!!!

So sick, and so Healthy!!!!

I received all of my blood work back, and I don't have mono nor elevated EBV, I don't have Pneumonia. And my blood work is absolutely down the middle of the road picture perfect. I do have Asthma right now that seems to be really flaring up. as of Monday i was running a fever of 100.1, not a high fever, just a low grade. I'll check it again at work today... I am tired, but not as tired, and my muscles hurt...... but if i rate my muscle pain between 0-10 right now I'd have to say it is a 5. I coughed and coughed and coughed last night, started wheezing, took my inhaler and a benadryl waited about 1/2 hour and then went to sleep..... a really nasty coughing jag woke me up this morning.... I have a constant stream of mucous draining down my throat.... (Sinus/Allergies). This is the third year in a row that i got this......... at almost exactly the same time!!! man what gives????" today I did 30 minutes of yoga for weight loss, my thought is, because in yoga the main thing is to concentrate on breathing and taking deep breaths, and holding your breath,.......... well maybe this would help my lung volume. maybe i can actually exercise my lungs to work better??? Do you out there have any other ideas? I figure Curves next week.... not sure i want to hack all over the machines and get everyone else sick.... and JUST because i am taking a week off of Curves, that doesn't give me permission to take a week off of how i am eating. Actually i am not interested in food right now..... last night I had a bowl of soup!!!, my main concern is fluids...... i am trying to flush out with water and warm herbal tea....... Chamomile and mint.... mmmmmmmmmm!!! I guess i have to treat my immune system, and not the illness. Our bodies are amazing, and if we let them. ........they can heal themselves.... I am staying away from sugar...... which includes white starches. and processed foods. Now i am doing fruit right now......, a cup of fresh berries, or an orange........ just aren't gonna kill me........ and i need the Vit C and the antioxidants............ now enough of this health talk.

Andrew had another appointment, and the frontal brain lobe is finally healing like it should...... He hasn't been released yet......... after this round of home schooling, he can start back to school for 1/2 days with tons of rules and restrictions........ like open book tests, no timed test, frequent rest periods, written or audio taped study notes..... and a slew of other things..... I feel by Christmas break Andrew will be back to Andrew. oh he can start lifting weights again ........light weights/many reps. and he can really up his cardiovascular another notch

Well I think I'll get going for now....... have a great day.

Nathan, how are you doing little man? I pray for you all the time. and i think you have a great mom........shhhhhh don't tell her.

Maybe the flu?

Not sure, yesterday was my first day off to just relax....... so i did just that. I am drinking ton's of water and pure cranberry juice, (yuk, diluted 1:1 with water) I have a very chronic left flank pain, maybe i have a kidney infection which would also cause such muscle pain. my muscles still hurt so much, mainly in my rib region. I am still congested, ......oh well, what can i do? I went to the doctor on Thursday. haven't heard anything back, maybe today. I do have to work this afternoon, as well as Weds. and Fri. Andrew has appointments on Tues and I think Thursday. Oh and I work on Saturday....... so there is my week in a nut shell
Maybe I'll get on and type more later, i just ache all over, and sitting at this desk is uncomfortable.........what is a woman to do???

Almost a 5th child!!!

yeah, a couple of days ago, the agency we work with called me and told me they had a young man in our school district in need of a home, so that he could graduate from this school He is a 17 year old senior. It took me off guard, but i didn't immediately say no, as I needed to wait, think, and pray about it. Also It would never work unless I had 100% support from everyone in my home. I also needed to gather information, because regardless of this child's need... my children's needs come first, and I couldn't endanger whom i am protecting now. So if he his sexually aggressive, or has explosive behavior, or is a "fire" starter... well then it would be NO. As it turns out this young man is actually pretty "normal". but does seem to hang out with the wrong crowd. this is why he is leaving his previous home, the parents are too strict and won't let him out after dark, and won't let him go to certain friends homes. ( um, duh!!! those are my rules too, and prob worse). Samuel and Andrew immediately said "Yes, mom, how could you say no....... if you have a chance to change someones life, you have to do it". Corey was okay with it, but had to let me know that this kids does like to "hang" on the streets and he sneaks from his other home. And Katie was a NO. this boy is in her class, and although he's not much trouble, he is odd, and she said she'd feel uncomfortable, she did offer to go live with her Dad or grandparents for a few months if we decided. Later Corey told me, that he this boy may have a crush on Katie, which would prob make Katie more uncomfortable.. It in itself isn't a bad thing... actually most of Corey's friend have a"crush" on Katie. but it just wouldn't make things comfortable.

Sometimes i don't want any more, but sometimes I think God would like me to take more.... after these ones are raised of course, And Katie is not like the boys...... she thinks enough is enough..... and for a while I have to respect her thoughts........ but if she's still living here when she's 30..... well tough for her.......... ;0) I guess if I really think about it. 4 teenagers are plenty at one time. But there are sooooooooooo many children in need out there. Corey has been with us for 3+ years now. And the agency told me it is rare that kids in his situation flourish. well we lucked out with a good kid. His grades are improving, he's social, he's happy, he stopped therapy over a year ago. He's affectionate, and loving, he's my boy. oh i forgot to mention annoying and a pain too :0) but what teenage boy isn't.

I am still feeling absolutely terrible, the muscle aches haven't changed much..... and I am so tired. I am coughing more today. I work until about 8pm tonight. Tomorrow the family is coming over for Lasagna dinner. and Sunday I plan on resting resting resting..... the kids and Bill have been great about keeping up with the house and laundry these past few days that i haven't been home...... and if it is NOT perfect, so what. Next week I have several doctor appointments for drew, and I work a few days too. it is hard to believe that Thanksgiving break is right around the corner!!! how time flies the older we get.

Well I am going to get going here, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
make it a good one.

Why can't i just admit that i get sick???

Well looking back on the blog I started with severe muscle pain on October 23rd. and I assumed it was PMS related...... or i think that i am just being a baby, or complaining too much, or i realize that I cannot schedule to get sick until after November 17th as that will be my first days off from work or doctor appointments!!! So for 10 days now, i have been dealing with fatigue and muscle pain. Last night in bed, i couldn't even move my position in bed without much effort and tears... i wish i could explain how every single muscle in my body aches.... i even sit here now at work dreading having to get up and move. My thigh muscles feel like they have arrows piercing them. So this morning, my angel on Earth, had enough, and I was told by Ms. Christina, that if I didn't call to make an appointment, She herself would. If you know this woman, you'd understand........ I called and went to the doctor this morning........ the whole time i am saying it's just hormone levels, and now that "IT" is here, all will be fine. Well Doctor doesn't think it it hormone levels,....
My doctor said that my lungs sound terrible, i am wheezing all over the place. I am running a fever, my blood pressure was 170/110 (pain increases blood pressure) She ordered a Chest Xray and all kinds of blood work. it could be a flair up of the Epstein Barr Virus. she also ordered a Mono screening and some other things. i am supposed to take Motrin around the clock, and use my inhaler frequently!!! So I guess I've actually been sick :( , who'd of guessed??? I am very tired i know that much......I'd love a day to not do a thing, to just lie in bed and let my body rest, So maybe Sunday? maybe Sunday