With a New Year approaching, who can help but not evaluate and reflect on the past year. and make "plans" for the new year! For years the new year always sorta depressed me. because it is a great reminder that time does NOT stand still. even more so than my own birthday. nothing but the memories of 2007 now exist. I will never write 2007 on my checks (well not on purpose) I will never write 2007 on one of my children's excuses for missing school. The older I get....... the quicker the calender months pass me by. I could live and dwell on the sadness of the quickness that TIME passes us by. but that will NOT stop time from moving on. 2007 ended with such a vengeance for me..... both a saddening experience and a learning experience.
Suddenly my "new year" resolutions don't seem to be as shallow as they used to be. ( I am going to lose weight, get healthy, exercise, get more organized, get beautiful, fit into a size 8 jean,....... ) Please understand I am not using this as an excuse to eat everything and lay on my butt all day eating bonbons and watching soap operas. I am still going to Curves, am still working to eat healthier, less sugar, more fiber. I have a goal to get back outdoors and on the hiking trail again. BUT, this isn't consuming me, nor should it. I think about Alex's family in Oregon and I still can't even imagine the pain that 2008 has already bestowed upon them. suddenly size 8 jeans don't even matter any more. The family has to learn how to live in a world that no longer has their son, grandson, cousin, nephew, friend in it. I may have seen Alex now and then when he visited, but just in passing, and just to say hello. But i always knew he was there....and heard about his life happenings. it is just sad that he isn't here anymore!!! The final day's in 2007 I was dealing with possibly losing another nephew, watching Michael on a ventilator fighting for his life, knowing the outcome was in God's hands, suddenly low carb, low calorie, whole grain didn't matter. and actually either did high calorie, fats, and sweets matter either. During this time eating was just something I did to keep my body going.... and I'd even have to remember that at times. You know, i didn't spend my time at Michael's bedside thinking about what it would be like to be a size 8 again, or what the newest whole grain bread would be. I sat at his bedside thinking about how precious life truly is, bartering with God to just let me get the chance to let Mike know how much I love him!!!
That is what a resolution should be........... resolve this year to let the people in your life know how much you love them and value them. resolve to spend time with loved ones that are thought of often yet forgotten. resolve to mend fences, and forgive where needed. and ask for forgiveness even if you are so sure that it wasn't your "fault" in the first place. hug more, say I love you more and laugh more. play in the rain, rest in the sun, waste time watching the sun set and the stars brighten. Thank God for the moment you are in, and the family and friends around you........ because when it is said and done.......... what really matters when you go to sleep at night....... are the ones you love, and love you in return!!!! Happy New Year.