Thursday, March 12, 2009

Next week at this time......

......... I will be making another BIG change in my life. and i would be lying to myself if i said i wouldn't be. it is hard to believe that I am almost at the 6 day mark (20 more minutes). Tuesday I jumped through my final hoop, My doctor okayed me for surgery. he said the tail end of a cold wouldn't stop me...... it would be like if i was running a fever, had lung involvement, had green drainage.......etc. I am feeling much much better. and i rarely cough now. Oh and other great news is that surgery is coming at the perfect week of the month. it seems like i spend 2 weeks PMSing it, i spend 1 week MSing....... which seems to give me 1 really perfect week.... which is the week of surgery.
I am feeling really good mentally. i know as i know as i know, that God is with me every step of the way.
Someone told my bestest friend....... not in anger just as in a statement, that....... "i'll have to always work on my battle with weight". No i wasn't offended at all........ and actually how true that statement is. No matter what i do, or what direction i take...... i will always have to work on being healthy. even the lap band or even more drastic surgery is not the answer or the magic pill...... I can and will gain weight with the Lap band if I do not keep focused. Speaking of which, i have a feeling for the next couple of years i won't be able to lose focus....... i got a call yesterday that i NEEDED to see my Diet Coach before surgery, to get weighed and discuss my knowledge of the Lap band procedure. and here i thought i was in a holding pattern until after surgery. Nope not a chance....... I think i know so much about the Lap band procedure, i just might have to do it myself LOL
The thing i've learned most during this year, and which i think is the most important, and which i think was the "light bulb" moment (hi Patti, you know what i am talking about ......the click!!!) was to realize that i was obese. and to realize that this by itself doesn't make me who I am, or define me as a human being. I started this process, not by fixing the outside.......but starting from the core of my being. it's like a carpenter who fixes a home damaged by the storm..... why fix the walls and the roof, if the foundation was damaged... oh he could make the house look pretty.... but the cracked broken foundation will soon bring that house to the ground. Well that is the same with me.... my foundation is my Spirit, my Heart, My soul...... the body is just the vessel that holds it!
My Bill is so excited for me...... talk about my best support! it is him. and God Bless Him..... He'll call me from work, and say "hey i was talking to so and so about your surgery.... blah blah blah..." he is obviously NOT ashamed that his wife is the size that would even need Lap band Surgery.... i am just me. and he loves me no matter what... 300 lbs or 180 lbs.... i love that guy.
Well i don't think i have anywhere to go today......... hmmm, how did that happen. i have been so busy daily with appts and such. Yesterday was such a long day for me.... i could use a rest day.
Love to my GG's, looking forward to seeing you soon....... and Kellie, i am sending a hug via the blog {{{hug}}} you amaze me, and your perseverance encourages me not to sweat the small stuff

2 comments:

Patti's Parlor said...

I miss chit chatting with you g/f. Hopefully we'll find a few minutes before you go off to see the Wizard ;-)
xoxo

Kim said...

Congrats on getting cleared for surgery! Love ya!