~RESPONSIBILITY~

"this is my brother.......... he is much sweeter than he looks lol....

life is such a learning process, and yesterday was another light bulb moment in this journey of mine. It all started with me working all day. I was busy, but the time i did have free, i was trying to figure out facebook on line. what is really cool is that it isn't strangers that are finding me, but my old school chums. lately my mind has been flooded with memories of growing up with all my classmates......... well anyhow i digress, ....... so when i did get home, i seemed to have such a major head ache, not a migraine, but a headache behind the eyes, maybe sinus related. Chris and I still planned on going to the gym...... 3pm and it started to snow really bad here, i had to go to Indiana for Sam's appt. no matter what, but i was wishing i could get out of the gym...... 3:15 Chris called, she couldn't go. (lets just say tummy issues are way more unpredictable than sinus issues). So immediately the wheels started turning in my mind........ "hmm, maybe I'll just take Sam to his appt. and i'd stay with him instead of Albert staying with him, oh look at this snow, i'll come right back home John will understand.........." i think Christina felt guilty, cause she feels she let me down......... OH on contra er........

Bottom line is, Christina can help and support me, Bill and my kids can support me, Johnny can help and support me, My diet coach can support me....... and heck yeah, the Lapband can help and support me....... BUT I am ultimately responsible for my decisions, actions, successes and failures.

i have the absolute greatest network of support, and they are wonderful tools, yet I am responsible and must answer to myself. i guess it is the same concept when i do get the lapband. sure it will be there with me, but it ain't gonna work unless i make the decision to work with it.

i feel really good about yesterday! oh and i can't forget, so last night I was so tempted to pull out the Oreos..... i was craving them so bad, and if i can be honest, i knew that the crave was so strong that i would have eaten way more than 2. .... i can't even explain how close i came to scarfing up the Oreos,........... okay get a grip, i said to myself.... maybe it is sweet i am craving...... so i got a sugar free rice pudding, put it in a dessert dish, and a dollop of light cool whip (comes in a can now).... sat down and slowly ate that.......... well it did the trick....... and later in the evening i had 1/2 grapefruit and 1 sm clementine...... I went to bed without feeling any cravings.... and the Oreos haven't called me since.....

IT is so cold here, so i think i am going to get a nice hot bath to warm me up. oh and i bought this eye mask actually made for sinus issues, it applies cold (goes in the freezer) pressure to the area around my eyes and it feels wonderful....... i used it for 1/2 hour last night....... and my headache went away...... if i were to grade myself for yesterday......i'd have to give it an A

and the work out with Johnny was tough..... he said my Cardio level did not diminish, but he took it easy on the joints..... my strength was still there too..... when i got home my arms felt like rubber, but nothing that shouldn't of hurt .......hurt. even my knees are fine... we'll see what happens of Friday :0)