Tuesday, May 12, 2009

~*~life as it is ~*~

-> First of all I just put this picture up, cause it is so darn cute. There is something about Izzy that you just gotta love! wait until you meet her Patti, you'll know what I am talking about!!!
-> Physically I am doing great. I am feeling so good, not having any problems at this point. I am scheduled for a lap band adjustment on June 26th, I've been told for the majority of people the second adjustment/fill is the one that makes the most difference. we shall see. I like where i am right now. I can still eat what would be a normal serving, my lunch today is grilled fish, spinach, and strawberries. Bill and I may go out to dinner, if that is the case, i will order my meal, and ask for the box to be sent out with it...... i'll immediately put 1/2 away.. and enjoy the rest. I eat mainly protein and veggies. i really limit the breads and simple carbs.
-> My job is going awesome, I have been busy but very productive. I am quickly learning what is expected of me and then some, funny today I am at Kiski, and i never felt like...... ahh gotta go to work today..... until this morning, it really has, and quickly, became my second job that i HAVE to finish. as a rule this is my last day here. I was asked to stay on as a fill in here or there. I really like the new boss, so i told her I would. but who knows what my future holds..... this may be the final chapter for Kiski and Me..... the book closes at 1pm today.
-> I am feeling very content right now. I seem grounded, I just know that no matter what happens, It will be alright. If Bill goes on strike next week, it will be okay. financially it seems to be getting tight, but that will be okay too. We are very fortunate that both Bill and I have good jobs. I am spending more time in quiet meditation and prayer. when i seem to be the quietest, i hear God the loudest. I don't know what I'd do without my Faith and Friendship in God! Without getting into it to deeply. I've been hurt, and a part of me wanted to lash back out, and hurt back, but the still quiet voice told me not too.... it took all that I could not to .... my humanity and my spirit will forever clash, sometimes my spirit wins, and sometimes my humanity wins... this is life as it is. this weekend the battle was in full force. Bill has some family that are just unhealthy to be around...... and when we are around them, we can just feel the tension. I told Bill what matters is he communicate with his mom, don't worry about what the "sisters" are doing. That doesn't mean we bash them, wish ill harm on them, BUT it is okay to distance ourselves in a peaceful way. and don't do tit for tat! Easier said then done. As i get older, i am learning Peace isn't "found". it is earned, I work hard to keep a peaceful environment in my life..... and gee Satan doesn't want us to experience Peace, cause that just makes Us one step closer to God.......... so he trys really hard to throw curves and dirt in our way....... in the form of a lost job, mounting medical bills, angry X husband, difficult kids,..... experiencing Peace to me just means......... giving ALL my issues to God to take care of....
Well it is beautiful this morning..... chilly, sunny, blue sky's, white billowy clouds...... I think I'll go take a minute and just enjoy it......

1 comment:

Jay said...

A minister in our old church in Florida once said that forgiveness isn't forgetting. We have an obligation to forgive but we don't have to forget. All of which is why my sister and I are estranged. I pray that she find peace and contentment in her life every week (and maybe she has...dunno) but we're both better off if we have no contact. That sounds sad but it's not. What would be sad is if we forced ourselves to be close in some misinterpretation of "forgiveness".

And...I've also learned that we only get that which we can handle. Hell hasn't broken loose though it sometimes seems like it. I'm inspired by how some people face adversities like cancer or worse and do so without breaking a sweat. There are days when tying my shoes is a challenge (metaphorically speaking). The biggest challenges I've ever had is when I swim against the tide. Eventually I tire and the current carries me back to where I'm s'posed to be.

Glad things continue to go well with the band. I'm sure you'll be a WLS success story because you already are.