Friday, May 29, 2009

getting there the hard part...... overwelmed!!!

my spirit is so out of sorts this morning...... my stomach is in knots...... just so much hitting my mind all at once, the come down from the high during Drew's surgery, Bill being on strike, Bill's family causing so much problems, because he is trying to help his mother......in the back of my head, Andrea and her wedding.......... i hate when i am like this, sometimes i am hard on myself because i am like this....... Andrew is having a tough time with this surgery...... oh i think physically he is on course, but this is really playing havoc with his emotions...... you wake up with a new face, gotta be difficult for anyone to adjust too..... esp a 17 year old. I am not talking waking up to a little plastic surgery here and there... i am talking the total reconstruction, oh his facial profile..... Bill is on edge, NO Bill is more than on edge..... i think he fell off the ledge and is holding on with one hand. he is going to apply for food stamps while on strike,.......that could help if we get it. bills and utilities keep going through my head....... I am angry, angry that i am trying to deal with selfish companies that made a record profit......but want to take things away from the "working" man, Angry at families that would steal from their own mother (so she says, and is being investigated), angry that they are adding more stress on my husband. Trying to be patient with my son, as he deals with the physical and emotional aspect of his surgery....... will i get to that sweet spot of peace and acceptance??? of course I will............ however it is a journey that i must cross before i get there. I know God is with me, and for that, it is enough. I will continue to pray..... I will continue to TRY and remember how blessed I am. and even if i don't feel it yet...... I will keep "saying it, believing it, hoping for it"....... for that peace and inner calmness that only God can give me......
Up note Patti is coming today.......and i am glad.... nothing better than being surrounded by friends during difficult times......

1 comment:

Patti's Parlor said...

You know in your heart that everything will be okay.
See you soon!
xoxo