Sunday, August 10, 2008

Such a Long....... long post!!!

Okay this may be a long post, but I can't help it :0). But it is such a long story. Several months ago after my second hospital stay in less than 6 weeks. My doctor and I had a long talk, first off he was/is trying really hard to control my blood pressure, adding medicine, adjusting medicine, discontinuing medicine. We talked about the joints in my knees starting to cause me problems. started talking about my Lungs and then finally my stomach issues, Now i realize being Obese didn't necessary cause a Trachea infection, nor did my weight necessarily cause the medicines that healed my Lungs, to eat holes in my stomach. However let's be honest... it does NOT help in my body's ability to fight for itself. My blood pressure to this point is really not in control.......... okay so back to the Doctors visit in March. So there i am, Not there because of my weight, i am there for my lung problems, and my stomach problems, and my knee problems, and my blood pressure problems,........... when the Doc, starts telling me about a program in Pittsburgh that works with Obesity and Bariatric Surgery ...... and i stopped listening. there is NO way i would even be interested in something so drastic.. NOWAY! I had my mind shut off to any thoughts of it. that would be the easy way out, that would make me lazy, after all I can do it on my own........ Dr. Klein was cool with my answer and said no more, he just offered to see me more, and work with me to help keep me out of the hospital..... The end of the story....... at this point my brother Johnny was having a tough time keeping me moving since my knees became almost unbearable to bend. So I decided like everything else I did, to just give it to God. When i worry about a job, I give it to God, When my first husband left me, i turned it over to God....... it seems like He sends me the answers, maybe not in the time frame i want, or the answer i want.....BUT He always answers. So I prayed about, and truly asked God to help me get healthier....... I tried so hard last year...... but could never quite get it going. Dr Klein's words kept coming back to me........ and I asked myself why was I so against it?...... I didn't have enough information to answer that. My husband who supports every decision i make, told me this..... "Sandi it is not a Crime to get the Information" I scheduled myself to go to the first Seminar to just see what it is all about.......... Bill took off work to go with me He said he'd go to every appointment, every class, anything to help me. So at the Seminar, the only decision I made was...... I decided to continue to the next step..... well it just so happened in February 2008 The American Diabetic and American Heart Association decided to fund a study conducted by UPMC's bariatric and behavioral health centers. the purpose of this study is to determine if Extensive Preparation before Bariatric Surgery, and extensive monitoring after Surgery can increase the success rate. and decrease the complications of Diabetes and Heart Disease. I decided to see if I could be a part of this study. I had a 50% chance to get Picked for the study, and of all those picked for the study.....I'd of had another 50% chance to be chosen for what they call the PREP study (1/2 of those picked would do the 6 classes before surgery-what they require now, and 1/2 would do the more extensive prep study). So that gave me a 25% chance of being a part of the PREP study. Although this would require , weekly trips to Pittsburgh, More appointments, more forms to fill out, a lot more time and effort on my part, I still wanted this so bad. So I just said God, I trust you here, I'll let you decide if this would be good for me. I found out a couple weeks ago that i was Chosen for the P.R.E.P. study!!!! I am being considered for the less evasive procedure the Lap band procedure, I will not even consider the Gastric by-pass ( It isn't for Me, at this time). I am learning that weight loss is a journey....... and there are so many paths out there, what works for some, does not work for others. Lap band is not an easy way out, or it does not make you loose weight, I am the only one that can help Me loose this weight ( the lap band will be a tool). Gee i've been working with this for months now, and only on weds will i be working on an eating plan........ a month ago, i've stopped drinking soda, even diet soda..... that was it. I ate just as i always have... of course i'd get these random calls, asking what I ate, where i ate, how much i ate, why i ate..... and then I had that computer contraption on........ just to monitor my activity level... just as i am now!!! This week, I am starting to chew.......... yes chew my food..... over the years, having a busy schedule i've learned to "gulp" food. So i am just trying to concentrate on chewing my food. I still can eat anything. oh and this week I am supposed to write EVERYTHING down, even the bites of cake i eat while standing at the refrigerator. Never in my life did i do a "diet" (weight watchers, Atkins, Curves ) were i went over two months before an eating plan was even introduced. But it has been an eye opener for me, I am eating way more than an average serving.... 6 seafood stuffed shells Alfredo is WAY more than a serving. I also find, when i do really take time and chew a meal, I get full quicker and actually stop as soon as i have that almost full feeling.

So why have I decided to Blog this? : at first i think i had the stereotypical idea, that weight loss surgery was a cop out because i was too weak to do it on my own. After really educating myself, I realize that this can be a tool if used right. Now after the 6 or 8 months with my *diet coach, and i start to loose weight, will i still consider the lap band procedure? I will cross that bridge when i come to it... Like my friend Patti has said in her blog before, it is so easy to loose weight, but keeping it off is a whole other story. Do people that have had the procedure done, regain the weight?.........and the answer is yes. the one thing i can say about being in this program. is that if i do have the surgery..... they will follow me very closely for at least 2 years after. if I come across "hurdles" i will know that God put the hurdles there, and i will stop and listen closely to what He has to say.

I am sure that everyone has their opinions, and that is fine, but understand: I will not have the surgery because of the friends that are all for it. Just as I will NOT not have the surgery because of those against it. This is my personal Journey........ and I gotta find my way.
I am going to end this post with a part of what I wrote in my journal at home, after I Prayed about this : i posted this little story before, but i just put it in perspective about this issue.

~ one day a great flood hit a small town, A man was able to climb onto the roof of his house, the flood water rose higher and higher.... the man prayed "dear Lord, save me from this flood." twenty minutes later a boy in a Row boat came past, and told the man to get into the boat. The man refused saying "no thank you, I asked God, and I trust that He will save me." The young boy sadly shook his head and left. The water rose higher still, until it was level with the roof. A family came by in a motor boat, again the man refused to get in stating again that God would save him. Finally with the man holding tightly to the chimney, with the water up to his neck, A helicopter came by, dropped a ladder, and told the man to climb on.. once again the man refused. Moments later he was swept away to his death. When he got to Heaven and met with God, He asked God with Anger in his voice .. "God, I trusted you, why didn't you save me?" God looked deeply into his eyes, and said "...... i sent you two boats and a helicopter what more did you want?" ~Yeah God could make me thinner and healthier over night, I've prayed to God about my weight. I so wish he would just "take it off" for me. God doesn't always work that way, Sometimes He sends boats and helicopters, or sometimes He sends Surgeons and Lap bands? Right now I am sitting on my roof, what will God send me???


Chris said...

Not to make light of this serious subject, but........are four seafood alfredo stuffed shells one serving? 'Cause that's how many I ate and I wasn't even hungry!!! They were SO YUMMY! :-)

Anonymous said...

why don't you ever blog about the amazing olympics, like patti does?

your watching beach volleyball right now.
and you need to get off the phone, because we are leaving in 21 mintues sharp. (:

Jen said...

I picked up your blog at your suggestion the other day at the lap band site. I remember being intrigued by the words "Melody's mile" and I needed to see what that was about. So I started investigating and while I was doing that I was meeting the most remarkable family and group of friends. I must admit that I have read every blog, every day back through 2006. I am still not sure who Melody was or even much of her own journey, but she inspired you and you have held it to your heart daily. I just want you to know that you have also inspired me. My road is not a smooth one either, but I live a life of vacation compared to yours. But I believe you get out what you put in. I'll go to meet our lord, you may just be carried on a golden chariot!

Good luck to you and the ones you hold dear, I'll pray for you all.

Sandi said...

Wow Jen thank you- your post took me by suprise!!! It's funny after reading your comment, i was thinking....... my life hard? what was so hard..... :0)... and then i did remember in those two years, my daughter got pretty sick, and my son suffered that brain injury. God puts so much joy in my life, that I forget about the hurdles along the way... Blessings to you

Sandi said...

when i decided to be open about my journey to better health,i decided to just use my blog, instead of blogging on the site, i think it is easier to give my blog link than to post twice, or post, copy, paste, post.... so thats what i did, !!!