~Panic set in~

First let me begin with that what you see in this photo is going to
be what stays on my person for the next 6 months!!! This is the number one key and tool that I am to use. Yes I got the new addition to the Calorie King Counter. *that site follows me everywhere :0). I was really excited to be going to my appointment yesterday.. and it went really well. You see up until now, I haven't been on a set eating plan. Actually for the first time in my life, they wanted me to eat without really even thinking, So I started making small changes, Like no carbonated beverages even sugarfree ones... and just this past week I have focused on chewing my food..... *i'll get back to that in a minute. I started using the food diary for the PREP plan last week, and i was to eat just how and when I ate..... no changes. I kept a diary before with Weight Watchers, and the Curves Plan, and even on the CK website. BUT i must say I never had someone go over each page with me line by line...... by line!!! Asking me all kinds of questions, like were you hungry when you ate that?, or how long did it take you to eat dinner? And then comes the big.... okay this is what needs to be worked on...... and lets fit you to a plan... modify my calories to around 1500-1800, they didn't take out any food groups, it is the basic lean protein, complex carbs, lots of fruits and veggies, no sugar, or white flour type of meal. it hit me, ........ I AM GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE THE WAY I EAT AND THINK ABOUT FOOD..... there is absolutely nothing I cannot have, it's just that 6 seafood stuffed shells Alfredo would be 2 days worth of calories. it's just that eating brownies from the pan while i am doing the dishes, does have calories in it. So while sitting there in front of Aime, *diet coach. it hit me, that I cannot eat the way I have been eating for the past 20 years.......and still loose weight. Permanent changes have to be made....

Now back to the chewing thing..........i am so excited about this "new" concept... you know, chew your food before you swallow it..... it is starting to really work....... i actually am learning to feel full before i feel sick!! Yesterday when i got home from helping Christina, i was so hungry for my homemade meatloaf......... i must shamefully admit, that normally i could eat at least( 2) 5oz pieces before i even sit down to dinner, and then shove another piece in while i am cleaning up the table. Last Night.. i made my plate, weighed a 5 oz piece of meatloaf, i skipped the cheesy potato's completely, and i ate 1/2 cup of corn with NO butter , and 1 small cucumber with 1 tsp of Italian dressing.. before i sat down, i thought wow i'll eat this in a minute , i am soooooooo hungry... I forced myself, to chew each bite......... believe it or not, i was the last one to finish my food, and when I took the final bite, i was full........ didn't need another bite!!! Wow I think God knew what he was doing when he gave us teeth :0) huh!!!

Bottom line, I am not going to be perfect, Bottom line, i have to make changes, Bottom line I want to feel better............

Well, I know that MY food diary WILL be read, and i know to cheat and not write down everything will be cheating me........ and why would i do that? I have an opportunity of a lifetime going through this PREP study program. and I don't want to let "me" down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

later in the morning: why doesn't an ALL boy's prep school keep Midol on stock in the medication cubboard, I am just askin'