well........

" I can go sit in a garage all day and it won't make me a car,
So going and sitting in Church every Sunday isn't going to
make me a Christian"

quote by Joyce Meyer


Well another day here in the office, haven't seen anyone today except my daughter who, well let me say... i think she really really enjoys being around me. I was scheduled to work 3 days to do a certain task, well i did it in two days.... so today I sorta have to sit here and wait for a little boy to scrape his knee. We have ESL students ( English as a Second Language) from other countries right now. so when i do get someone, it can sometimes be difficult to figure out what is wrong with them (because of the language barrier). But let me tell you, they sure are cute...... lets face it. Children are UNIVERSAL, all beautiful and precious....... It's "adults" who seem to screw things up, it's adults who teach prejudice, and differences and superiority. ....

Oh so i guess that is why my blog title and colors have changed. I must be just a little bored. I want to keep in mind. that Melody is still very much a part of my journey.. and i just recently re-read her journal..... I still feel a connection, and I remember her often. and i remember my promise to her, that i must say i am working very hard at, And I look back on my life before i began the Journey of Melody's Mile.... and I've come a long way, I am more content with WHO i am than i have ever been. I've religiously been working on my health, i am not just talking losing weight, but I've had pap smears, and mammograms, and I am getting to the bottom of my many lung infections over the past 3 years......and actually I have not been "wheezing" since i think February. I AM going to give Melody her 10 mile hike.... I remember and pray for her family. and I pray that they find happiness while they wait to see Melody again...

Well I think i am going to find something to do.........surely there is something that I can organize or file..... or something.....

Back from the Doctors

So I go to work, leave work to make my 11:30am appointment, Didn't get seen until 12:45 p. I am not complaining and I do not mind waiting. And this Doctor is very busy, and He did take a lot of time with me and did not act rushed when he did see me..... i am just sayin' that is all.

~Well good good news is my lungs have remained clear without wheezing or complications, I seem to be getting an increase in nasal drainage the past couple days but i think that is from being around smoke this weekend. He wants me to get a grip on this now instead of waiting until it affects my lungs. So I am to stay away from smoke (cigarette, barbecue, bonfire) and start on my flonase again for a week, and keep on the Clairitin
~My blood pressure has gone down, but still up a little too high for the doctors liking. So i am going to take a very very low dose of diuretic with the blood pressure medicine i am currently taking
~I received the results to all of my blood work, and i mean he checked everything! and other than my Cholesterol being a few points above normal, that can be managed with exercise to get my Good Cholesterol higher...... because it is the "ratio" that is keeping it abnormal. .... well at least I understood what he was saying :0). Okay folks for a very over weight woman, I am going to say it again....... My blood work is almost picture perfect. Thyroid levels good. He checked several vitamin levels (i.e. B12, Vit D etc.) they are all normal.
~ and actually I am not what they even consider borderline diabetic (or you will hear someone say prediabetic.) you either are or aren't. But like the Doctor explained to me. 1. I have 3 or 4 siblings that have type 2 diabetes. 2. my grandmother was a diabetic. 3. I am very overweight
and 4. over the past 15 years my FBS has increased. 10 years ago it was steady in the 80's, 5 years ago it was steady in the 90's and now it is still Normal still steady but in the low 100's !!!
So in the sense, there is a pattern, along with 4 out of 7 siblings dealing with diabetic issues. My A1c is 5.2. So I AM NOT a diabetic! YET!!!!

Over all I am very happy, I go back in 6 weeks. He wants to keep a closer eye on me this time to keep me from following the dreaded lung infection pattern :0), I do love my doctor!!!

Moonflower

My neighbor gave me this "dying" plant and told me that it was a moonflower, meaning that it blooms in the darkness of night! I have yet to replant it in my yard, but i do have it on my outside table., I woke up this morning to about 10 blossoms like this one...... how pretty. I must say that I have been slightly out of sorts the past couple of weeks, beside being busy. I think i've been "worrying" too much about everything.......... worrying about Katie and her future, worrying about Andrew and his up coming surgeries, worrying about the economy and what seems to be going wrong with our government and nation, worrying about what happens if gas prices go so high I can't afford to drive my car........... worry about my health........... etc..... think you get the picture! Sometimes it takes me a while to get through these feelings, but i must say it is times like these that i find myself drawn closer to God. And then i realize, I too am like the Moonflower...... In times of trial and darkness, With God's tender care, i am able to bloom, and find the smallest glimmer of beauty even in the darkest hour !

Well another busy day for me. Work and then a doctors appointment and then back to work for the afternoon.

I'll end with a verse today, it is a good reminder to me when i worry too much:

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths

Back to work

Yup I am sitting here in the office at Kiski Health Center today. working on files and paper work for the start of the coming school year. So it is quiet, don't think I'll be seeing anyone. which i must say, I sure could use some me time.
Summers seem so busy to me, I am always being a Taxi to the kids, or have an appointment to go to, whether it is me or one of the kids. this week is already packed full. I work Monday, Tuesday and Thursday at Kiski, I have a doctor appointment for myself as well as doctor appointments for 2 of my boys, oh and i have an appointment to take Andrew to begin his allergy shots. this isn't even taking into consideration the "taxi" trips to and from football practices for all of the boys, grocery shopping and other weekly errands.
Well the parties were a success, Megan and Micheal are the sweetest couple. and yesterdays party was a surprise to Chris' mom's husband. it went really nice too. I went down early in the morning on both days, and stayed until the "cow's came home" so to speak, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Christina would and has done this for me on several occasions. the night before i took 1 ultracet because my legs and feet were hurting so bad, I put 9000 steps on my pedometer walking on pavement most of the day. I am very sensitive to pain medicine, so i think i still felt groggy the next day..... or i got too tired... I remember going home, and Bill saying go lie down for a moment......... i think it was 6 or 7 pm........... i woke up when he left for work this morning....... didn't even get a shower in........ went back to sleep until almost 9am, gee 14 or 15 hours of sleep... must have needed it :0).
Oh and Cliff, Isn't a golden boy....... sorta like a "pretty boy" you know the stereo type, blonde hair blue eyes, quarterback of the high school football team, the Ken for Barbie????
Well i should get back to filing and organizing

Just for a minute......

just wanted to stop in for a second before I head back down to the club house for day/party number 2.

First thing first, um Cliff, I'll make sure i ask Katie that...... cause umm well, you see, umm, you just don't seem the "golden" boy type to me. i am just sayin'.

Kim i got your message.......the dang golf course does not get good reception at all, and sometimes it isn't even worth calling back :)

it is going to be another busy day for me. Yesterday i think i came home at almost 7pm and then i showered and went directly to bed........ My brother Doug was here, he is so sweet and didn't need entertaining, and i am comfortable enough with him to just go to bed when i was sooooooooo tired.

Happy Birthday too my newest little great nephew. Mathew Michael. He was born on his big brother's Second Birthday. Happy Second Birthday Mason Henry. Yesterday my bro Doug, became a grandpa for the second time, he is on cloud nine

Just a quick drive by

hey i was just getting a number, and i read the title.. and guess what!? subway well BP had a drive by yesterday! okay. bye.
now i am allowed to write well type this, sandi's orders.
she is busy. we are going to help megan.
today is her shower.
we are making baked beans.
now we are going to wrap her present.
sandi will type later.
love to my golden boys.
-katie

Early Morning........

well I've been up since 5am, not for any reason just because that seems to be around the time that my internal clock seems to go off. Oh how i wish I could sleep in until 9 am. My sister in law can sleep until noon. When able though, i do take an hour rest/nap in the early afternoon. not longer, and sometimes I'll snooze for just 2o or 30 minutes and feel so refreshed. I used to feel guilty about resting in the daytime. . .not anymore. if i get the chance........ I'll take it :0). after all my days are usually 18 hour days, so a nap is in order to keep me semi happy throughout the evening.
I've been enjoying my porch since early morning.... it is cooler and not as humid right now with a few rain showers/thunder storms. Nothing like a morning on the porch to calm my spirit and remember to put my life in perspective and I am reminded about the Serenity Prayer..... in its entirety:

Serenity Prayer

" God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace, Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make ALL things right if I surrender to His will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and Supremely happy with Him forever in the next. "

well i am going back to my little slice of heaven on Earth (the porch), I think God and i need to spend a little time with each other..... He misses me :0)

katie's gift to Me~~

The picture doesn't do it justice, But it is a quilt and sham set..... absolutely beautiful, with colors of rose, pale yellow, and light sage. with various strips and flowers, and other prints. I love it! I like to use a Spring Quilt for the warmer months, and a Darker quilt for the winter months.... and i guess i am late in changing..... Katie had noticed me admiring this for sometime, and so she just wanted to do something nice for me..... I do love the girl!

I am so busy and my soul is just a little unsettled right now.... not totally sure why, and something I can't explain....but there is just something!!! But this too shall pass, as i usually get a grip on what is "bothering" me. Lots of appointments tomorrow........ next week Andrew starts allergy shots.... we are trying to get all of his issues in control before his big surgery next spring. He is doing well!!! ;0). I am blessed and thankful for my husband, children, and friends.... and that I do not forget.

Make it a good one folks

~*~*~*~*~

Without getting into detail, I must say it was "tough" this weekend, i wasn't feeling the greatest........ all "woman" issues. This week is already jam packed full, and I am going to spend every available minute helping Christina, she has a lot planned and a lot to do to get ready for 2 parties. and the weekend is a given, I'll be at the Golf Course from morning to night both Saturday and Sunday. I do not mind, what are friends for. Katie plans on helping too.... ... ....
Lots of doctor, dentist, and orthodontist appointments this week. as well as fitting in rides to and from football practices. Andrew got a clean bill of health from his nose surgery 2 months ago. He will need the allergy shots....... so we are going to work with the insurance company to make sure they will pay for the shots, after 6 months i can give the shots!!! It is hard to believe that summer is edging out so quickly........ but that is okay , i love Autumn.
well i am so tired, i know it is only 7 pm, but i think i am going to get a bath and crawl into bed........sip tea, and go to bed early.
Love and Blessings to my GG's,

~Hazy~Hot~Humid~

This is by far my least favorite weather, I don't even mind 20 below 0 My home is cool, and i can tolerate my porch in the early morning and late evenings. not that I have had time. I've been so busy this week and i am looking at next week and it seems to be my personal planner is filling up rather quickly. With Doctor appointments, Dental appointments, Ortho appointments, a day or two of Work....
Andrew now has the braces on........ as soon as his teeth straighten out enough, both his jaws will be broken and put back in place, it should be next year right after school is out or right after football season...
Christina has been so busy, but I've managed to see her a little here and there, now that the weekend is here, I doubt I'll see her, next week there will be alot of prepping for Megan's shower, and she is having another family party the day after Megan's party........ so it will be a busy time, Chris has been hosting parties for so long, she doesn't blink an eye. Her and Patti could go into a pretty good business here.
Not sure what my plans are for tomorrow....... I think it is going to be another hot one... it will be nice if i can have a relaxing weekend, esp after last weeks busy schedule. If God sees fit, I'll prob start working at the Methadone Clinic soon. But i still have to wait on God and see if this is the direction he wants me in.

picture of pictures and picture of cake

well here is the picture as promised. The cake was just the cutest.... only Katie would pick a cake that was a so non graduating cake! Things are mildly hectic here right now, and i am dealing with a few things that i don't plan on posting here. Work is going to start up soon, actually next week I'll prob go in for a few days. and I will prob be starting to work at the Methadone clinic soon. School is just around the corner.... where did the time go??? and with the start of school is the start of football, so i am already anticipating a busy fall...... but oh how I love Friday night football games..... I am not rushing summer understand, I mean it really isn't that bad.....and the weather is tolerable minus just a few days of torturous humidity and hot temperatures....

Well I have a few Errands to to do so i should get going.

Everyone have a great day...........

Waking up in time for Bed~~~~

Well I am exhausted, obviously so...... after Kimmie left at 2ish, i told Bill and my brother who came over for "leftovers", that i was going to lie down for a while, and if i fell asleep when Bro was leaving, i showed him the package of extra food he was to take home. I fell asleep around 3pm.... i think Corey came in once and asked if they could go into town to play basketball, i think i said yes........ and then I wake up at almost 8 pm.

The Party went really well, and of course we had tons of food! it was decorated nice, and i had lots of help. Thank you Kim and Lydia and Kris you had the place looking beautiful. AND a big thank you to Christina, Chris you are the best friend anyone could have, and you put up with me too!!! my brothers think you have the most wonderful family from You and Larry, to your kids and kids in law. No matter what goes on in this world..... you are one blessed woman in your own little world ( i said that right didn't I???) And your cake was the talk of the party...... a 3D candy land cake......... awesome. i will try and post a picture of it when i get one tomorrow.... Well i might as well stop babbling, because there aren't words to express my gratitude.
Princess Katie was the Best i've ever seen her in a social position, she made everyone that walked into the door feel like they were the ones she was just waiting for all day long. She watched the tables, and anyone sitting alone, she was over there talking to them. I was proud of her. :-), now a couple years break, and it begins again...
My sinus's are acting up, and i am wheezing slightly at night.... it's not pulling me down, but i must say i am being cautious....... so worried to get in the predicament i was in 6 months ago.
All my brothers were there, and i must tell you...... i am so proud and adore each and everyone of them...... I know that my mom and dad where smiling down from heaven....and i am sure they are proud of the family they worked so hard to raise...... they did something right, and i guess they have front row seats to enjoy it all.
Patti, Bills boogy man wings were awesome...... i mean they just keep getting better and better... He and Albert were the best Host's.
it was a nice day..... but i am going to need a couple days of rest to catch up.

Stressed....... trying not to be........

Stress doesn't necessarily have to be because of something bad, there is such a thing as good stress, and I think i have a mixture of both!! I am trying really hard to calm my soul. I am really not too worried about the Party tomorrow, I'll have plenty of help, and it really isn't a big deal. But it takes time none the less! Grocery shopping is becoming more of a balancing act then it was before...... obviously the economy is hitting the middle class folks....... filling two cars is costing us well over 100 weekly, Groceries 400 weekly...... that's like 26,000 a year just for food and travel. We are fine, and we manage fine........ and we have organized our lives to fit without any problem. But not working in the summer months, does cause a little more "tightness" than normal. I go for a job interview on Weds. it is Behavioral health.......and it is a Methadone clinic! I only want a casual flexible position, as my primary place is Kiski School. I did not go looking for the job, again, it came looking for me...... so I'll go to the interview if i get hired, then it is meant to be, if not......... then there is something else for me. God really does take care of things.... And i believe when i put my trust in God, than everything and everyone that comes across my path has a purpose, even if it is for but a moment in time.
I have to remember that Katie is 19 and she must make her own decisions. my mom let me. Katie has issues with starting college this fall. and I figured it all out........ and I planned how it would work, and I....... do you see the pattern....... I cannot make her do it. She has to make her own success's and her own mistakes. Albert and I can help her when she is ready.... but we cannot make her take the path that we choose for her. yes that is stressful too.... But you know what, again i go back to thinking about my X sister in law and brother in law who lost their son on Thanksgiving last year....they would give absolutely anything they have to even watch Alex make his own way in this world, mistakes and all..... they do not have the joy of that heartache, but for now i do, I have the joy of watching Katie attempt to use those wings.......even if she tumbles to the ground every now and then.

Today shouldn't be too bad, I'll start marinating Bills wings, and i may do the pasta salad tonight also..... I've learned not to go stressy over the house. Kim is coming and Lydia and Kris are coming........ my home is what it is...... I'll put clean sheets on the bed, sweep and dust, and clean the bathrooms......

Tomorrow is going to be a long hot day........ I think Sunday will be a very much needed day of rest.

Have a great weekend

another day.......

Well things are going well, yes I have been very busy... today Christina is picking Drew and I up, we will take Drew to his doctor appointment at 8:30 am, and then head to Sam's Club to pick up a few things for Katie's Party. I am sure everything will work out, and i will try not to go too Crazy!!! Oh by the way. Andrew did really well with this minor surgery too, no complaints of pain at all. he took one day off, and started jogging the next day, had football practice yesterday...... he is so dedicated, He will NOT miss unless he absolutely has too.

My Pittsburgh "Nutrition" appointment went very well. I got all my materials, i spoke with a Nutritionist and Behavioral Psycologist, for the first month i am supposed to set small obtainable goals.... I am not to change my life too drastically, Goals are such as, i will try and maintain the eating plan 3 days out of the week, I will try and drink all of my water 3 days in the week, I also have behavior goals to make as well as exercise goals. like sitting at the table to eat instead of in front of the tv, or like at least wearing the pedometer 5 out of the 7 days ........stuff like that. Bill goes with me, gosh I love that guy....... he could stay at home after work and chill, but no, he comes with me, reads the paper, and just waits.

I have a job interview next weds. at the Methadone clinic. I am looking to just fill in, and maybe get hours when I am off work at Kiski. again I didn't go looking for this job, i just pray about it, and if it is to be, it will be!!!! God seems to know what he is doing, although at times I do not. I am just sayin' ( hi Cliff, you are learning)

Kellie, hope you are enjoying your summer, I am glad to see at least you are maintaining some normalness , or as normal as can be for you :0)! I pray for you guys all the time, although Nate has bad days, i am so glad he has some good days mixed in, last year he didn't have any :^(. looking forward to seeing you one of these days.

Patti, it was nice talking to you yesterday.... you are such a good girl, and you WILL have fun in Disney Land. you will be missing some boogy man wings, but we will save some for you..

Kimmie, looking forward to seeing you over the weekend.... so are the kids. it will be fun, but i will be happy when all is said and done too......

Christina, heck I'll be seeing you in one hour

and Mr. Cliff, love your sermons........ i think you do actually know what you are talking about..........I realize it is God driven and you are but the simple tool, buy a pretty good tool none the less

love and Blessings to all

the gates open.........and I am off.......

okay so maybe my life isn't exactly like a horse race, but this week just seems such. I started yesterday with taking Andrew to get his four wisdom teeth and two bicuspids out. He did great, was loopy and kinda high for the morning, he isn't experiencing much pain. he is just hungry for real food. this is the beginning of a long journey for him. starting with this, next week braces, next summer both his upper and lower jaw will be broken and placed into proper position. poor kid, he got it all didn't he? he is excited about getting it started though. Today I have an appointment in Pittsburgh. looking forward to it. I'll meet with my Nutritionist and a few others. it is in the Evening, so Bill will go with me. Tomorrow Corey has a dental appointment, Thursday Andrew goes to the Orthodontist to have bands put in place to get ready for his braces . Friday Kimmie and my Friends Lydia and Kris will be coming, Saturday is Katie's Party........ and then just maybe, just maybe I'll catch a break :0). Time really seems to be going faster than ever, I mean August is a couple weeks away and school will begin again... wow.......... time is flying

Earache....................

although it hasn't brought me down, i must say this earache really stinks! it's only my right ear, there is a lot of fluid coming out of it, and it hurts to press directly in front of my ear. The problem i am finding is, sometimes i get so dizzy, so i am thinking my inner ear is poss infected also. If anyone knows me, they know i do not like to take pain medicine...... I've taken pain medicine 2 nights in a row......... by the end of the day i end up getting such a headache with this, i think that is coming from both the ear problem but also me trying to focus so hard when i am dizzy and the world is going in circles.... ahhhh , but i've been much much sicker, so i am not complaining........ i am hoping in a few days this will all work out.
Had a little gathering yesterday, Bill and I woke up, he said , I'd like to have my mom over, and i said okay I'll ask my brother and his son if he wanted to come over too....... So we grilled Angus Steak burgers and Nathan hot dogs, had potato salad, fresh cut watermelon and desert was a puff pastry split open in a bowl with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and warm homemade triple berry sauce on top of that, I had vanilla custard for those not wanting ice cream, and fudge and peanut butter topping for those not wanting berries........... it was all good..... so they say, i just was interested in the puff and the berries.

I think i am going to take it easy today, watch movies, and just chill...... the other day i was running a fever. and if Christina has time i may go there to have her wash those greys right out my hair.......... only if she can find time this weekend..

sending Love to my GG's, oh Patti, Bill is getting soooooooo good on that grill...... maybe you could have him on your show one day!

My summer focus...

minus the guy with the grey hair, that is my X-husband, these are the little souls that suck up my summer hours :0) and I wouldn't have it any other way. it seems i am forever having the kids friends over, or i am taking them to friends houses, summer football practice, swimming pools, going to endless foster care meetings. I am forever figuring out supper meals, and in between all of this i seem to fit in time just for Me, Bill is so good at making sure i have time for me. and i also make time for just me and Bill. And it works!!! Taking Andrew to a friends house last night, i was hit with memories of me at that age... me hanging out with my best friend, enjoying summer, no school, having one adventure after another..... the nostalgia of the smells and sounds of summer took me back 25 years for but a moment. yeah I'll never get that time back, but i can sure enjoy it through the eyes of my children, I can enjoy the care free times of youth, just by watching my children enjoy their carefree time of youth........ what a gift!!!

If I had a gun.........

.......I would have put myself out of misery yesterday!!! Did you ever go to one of those "seminars", meetings, or what ever you want to call it..... and it actually be painful to you? Well yesterday Bill and I went to a 3 hour class to keep up with Our Foster parent license. Don't get me wrong, the two ladies giving the seminar were so nice, But they were so boring and actually they pretty much just had a conversation with the few in the class that they were caseworkers for...... and it went on and on..... and on and on!!!! Bill seemed to think he needed to check the parking meter every 30 minutes (it is 120 minute parking). like they didn't figure that out, Bill walking out 3 or 4 times to check the meter. Well after i got over the incredible urge to squeeze my head in a vice.... it turned out to be a nice afternoon. We went to lunch at Red Lobster I had a "lunch" portion of linguine with lobster meat, shrimp, steamed asparagus and fresh chopped tomato's in a wine sauce, 1 biscuit, and 1/2 of my salad. I left 1/2 of the linguine on my plate also. I walked out feeling just right.

this is the one of those very few times in my life that I am not supposed to watch what I eat... just for this week. I am working very closely with a group of specialist from Woman Magee Hospital that deal with nothing but obesity and obesity related health issues.... Obviously I have problems in this category. 90% of my siblings have weight issues, we just added one brother to abnormal glucose readings which brings the number 4 out of 7 children. i am still NOT in that category, but my doctor feels that it is inevitable if things don't change before i am 50. i can only do 1/2 of my 'brothers ' program because my knees are really causing me problems, sometimes the day after a work out, i can't even get up from a chair without my knees screaming. ... so exercise to loose weight........... loose weight so i can exercise more efficiently.... so i got to find a combination of both...... So any how i spent all morning in Pittsburgh last Friday.... talking, answering questionnaires, talking, taking my vital signs, talking, taking my height and weight, oh did i mention talking yet? So this is just the initial consult, I am wearing as we speak this really fancy arm band with a computer chip. I put it on the second i wake up, and take it off at bed time, I only take it off for a quick shower... it monitors my activity level, as well as my pulse etc... i am supposed to do what I normally do, no more no less. And I will also be getting random calls this week. so they will ask me questions about what I ate in the past 24 hours. I am not supposed to write down, or change my normal eating habits, I am not supposed to diet... I also had a 40 page questionnaire that i filled out and sent in. Asking questions about when what and where I eat, to asking questions about my periods to asking me questions if I've been hit or sexually assaulted in the last 6 months.... very deep thought provoking questions. I will be working with Doctors, Nutritionist, Endocrinologist, Psychologist, Exercise Specialist..... With my Personal Doctors help, we are going to really work on this. it is already known that i have metabolic issues as well as a very dominate gene that determines my size, this being said, I can still loose weight, and I can still beat this issue......... No magic pill, just a lot of hard work and support.......

well another meeting today with someone from the Foster Parent agency.yoi........ he's more work than giving birth to the little buggers..... so he shouldn't doubt that we want him ......... esp after sitting through yesterdays meeting.