after midnight...

I think i fell asleep after 10pm, we got home earlier this evening from my brothers. he had us over for dinner, i ate a little, stayed away from wheat gluten (hi Patti), and when i got home i had messages on my phone from Patti and Kim, sorry i didn't get back to you girls, when things settled it was after 9, and didn't know if that was too late to bother you, although Patti it would have only been 6 or 7 there, i know a part of the year we are only 2 hours difference, but i also know you get up at 4amish??? (four am "ish" not Amish)
I wish i could tell you how i am feeling, this has Never happened to me in my life, yeah I've over eaten before, yeah I've gotten what i called the "after-eating-a-thanksgiving-dinner-unbutton-your-pants-kind-of -bloat-feeling. BUT after a few hours, or at least by morning the "bloat" discomfort goes away. Or at least I've had the 10 pound baby! but now this discomfort stays, i have moments when i seem to feel a little better, or the bloat goes down a little, right now the pain woke me up from a sound sleep, and i am so nauseated. my rib pain and sternum pain is returning with a vengeance.....and the feeling of fullness is up in my throat. Not like before, not being able to breath, but that chicken bone feeling that never quite went away, I go and "move" my bowels, hoping that gives me relief, they work, but i don't find relief. I will not take any pain medicine right now...... i don't want to mask any symptoms or make my stomach worse. Patti had a wonderful idea to check on a "wheat" allergy again. I was checked last year and i didn't, but allergies can come at any time, and it can change, although there where days when i ate very little including wheat that i felt the best, it seems to happen if i eat more than an ounce or so....... i am beginning to wonder if i am on too much Carafate and Previcid, maybe i am not making enough acid to assist in the digestion of my food, maybe a part of my stomach is up through the hernia and into my lung area, I can't find my stethoscope to hear if my persistalis is hypo or hyper active, maybe only 5 days of diflucan did not kill the yeast but just slow it down.....and now it is raging in my stomach and intestines. maybe it IS a food allergy, maybe i have a blockage.... maybe maybe maybe...... Hell with maybes, i am tired of this, I am tired of doing everything right, I am tired of being just happy that my Lungs seem to be working, I hate food......... don't even want to look at it, i am tired of trying to eat so that i don't starve my body, worrying that my muscle mass is being compromised, making my "weak" metabolism weaker!!! I am sorry guys, I am frustrated, just as I knew something wasn't right with my "breathing" situation, after seeing doctor upon doctor, who all agreed i had the flu, asthma, bronchitis....... i knew something wasn't right........ that is how i feel now..... parts of my brain are yet again fighting with each other.... one part is saying..... your a woman, it is hormonal, it is in your head........... and then a part of me is holding up a red flag......this is different, this is different, you shouldn't bloat like this and STAY bloated for 3 days..........
I do have a doctor appointment at 1:15pm, and then i have to rush Andrew for an appointment in Greensburg at 3 pm, (about 23 miles apart) let me tell you, and this could change......... but I would even call and cancel Andrew's appointment if the doctor feels this is serious enough to get some test done, and if he thinks i should get the test done on the same day. (and this is an important appointment for Drew)
Well It is 1am, i am going to try and get some sleep, maybe I'll wake up and all the bloating and discomfort will be gone......and I've written this for nothing. ;~) for those that didn't read the last blog entry, scroll down , i posted pictures of my belly looking end of 3rd trimester pregnant.

goodnight