Frankly.........

I am scared and frustrated at this point...... i wanted to get on and type, How great God is, how trusting I am of God........and how everything is wonderful, and nothing to worry about........ makes me sound oh so Spiritual.......... So i am assuming God is allowing me to pout a little bit. My lungs aren't getting any better..... i went to the Doctor today again.. so lets see, Sat i was in the ER, Tuesday i felt really really good, Weds, started feeling a little pressure when i breath, Thursday, felt irritable and just not right............ Doctor today. She said my lungs have so much wheezing in all lobes......... I've added steroids that I will breath directly into my lungs twice a day until my appointment Next Friday. this is in addition to my other breathing treatments............ These treatments have my heart beating so fast, and i am so jittery, and my arms are so weak, i am finding it difficult to concentrate. i am so tired, so tired of using all my energy to breath...... We are finally going to get to the bottom of this, I had NO lung problems my entire life, until 3 years ago! My sinuses are draining so much right now......... tons and tons of mucus , she said some of this is going directly into the lungs......and my Asthma that i have yet to officially be diagnosed with...... could be because the sinus drainage is irritating my lungs. I will be seeing a Pulmonologist, and as soon as my lungs are stable they will begin testing........ all kinds of testing, and then I will prob go see an Allergist also....... and ENT doctor. Bottom line........... If we don't fix this my lungs will start to build up scar tissue, and that can't be fixed! I am tired, I am so tired, and frustrated, and there are times that I just don't feel like God is around...........thankfully he is so patient........ and he stays positioned, it is me moving around...........

I will say this................... I have the absolutely greatest Kids in the world. I love them, and love being around them........ the next snow storm coming will be all of their faults, as they decided each on their own accord to clean their bedrooms............ and i mean clean them like I would.........

I spoke to Christina and Kimmie on and off today.......... Well i am going to slather some George on me, maybe I'll see if benadryl will help with the wheezing.........and i have to take the dreaded breathing treatments....... yuk,

Have a great weekend