I don't want to be Fat anymore!!! :0)

today's Sunrise with the Shrimp boat that has been out there for a couple days. Things are going really well. I am enjoying this vacation so much. Yesterday we went to a lot of shops on Broadway on the beach. I had a burger at the Infamous Jimmy Buffet restaurant. Margaritaville. I had a light breakfast, and a light supper so that i could "fit" the meal in. Katie went and had a manicure/pedicure. I just waited for her. No Christina, I ended up not getting it. Kate even offered to "treat" BUT. if i am going to spend 30 dollars, I'll get another messenger bag or something for the boys. Now don't say "Sandi you need to do something for yourself." i am here aren't I? I sit on the balcony and read, and let the sounds of the waves calm my mind, and rejuvenate my Spirit. This Morning I got up before Sunrise so i could start my walk..... So i walked in the direction of the sunrise, watching the sky change colors and shapes with every step i took. I am happy! I miss Bill and the boys but not to the point that i am crazy about it. They are fine. and Bill has got to be the best "step" daddy in the world!

I am keeping up with my food diary about 80% of the time. i am going to need to focus a little better on this. I realize stronger than ever now....... I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT ANYMORE! No i am not sad or depressed... or hating myself, I am just stating a fact, and I am not ashamed to say it. I move pretty good, but my body just doesn't do what my Soul aches to do.... Yeah I can walk 4 miles on the beach every morning..... but i can't seem to get on the inner tubes just right for the Lazy River.... i mean i could If I WAS supposed to be face in water, feet in air!... cause let me tell you, that is the position i seemed to end in, every time I tried. LOL I'd love to Bike for miles along the coast, but my body isn't ready for that either. There isn't a "size" i want to be, or a weight I want to be...... but it is a state of Health I want to be. I am really looking forward to being able to work with the Lap band! I really really believe this is the direction God is taking me in....... and like everything else, when He speaks to me so strongly...He usually doesn't let me "drowned" I have had a lot of time to really do some deep thinking and praying about this, no distractions. .People say, well since you are doing so well with your "diet" coach, you won't need the lap band. Please don't hit me, but i am just stating a fact. 95% of people that lose a lot of weight regain in back within 3 years. And even if i do get the lap band, I still CAN gain it back. so even if i drop all the weight...... I will have to work with it for the rest of my life, lap band or not. I could see being here, how if I didn't have a "diet" coach to return to, how i could over eat....... i could see me letting my guard down.......

Well, Chris and Anne left for the day, Katie is still sleeping! so i have this awesome time to myself... so i think i am going to read a little.... and just enjoy the moment.